i really want to hear some funny blonde jokes. i laughed really hard at this one but i want to hear more. the one that makes me laugh best get the 10 points. if you wanna put a Q: and A: joke make sure that there is a pretty good size joke to add to that joke. Good Luck! o ya and i will say a few too. i have gotten them from other people but they are really funny.
2006-10-29 08:20:25 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
KINDA LONG BUT REALLLY GOOD!
There was a blonde and a brunette in an elevator. On their way down, they stop to pick up another person also on their way down. When the person got on, the girls noticed that he was pretty cute. Unfortunately he had dandruff. Finally, on the way off of the elevator the two girls let the guy go ahead of them. The brunette turns to the blonde and says "Oh my god! We need to give him Head and Shoulders." The blonde then replies "That's a pretty good idea, but how are we going to give him shoulders?
Blonde in a boat.
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, “What do you think you're doing? It's things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and kick your butt!"
Q: Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on?
A: Because it said, ''Sorry, try again.''
Tickle These, Elmo
A blonde desperately looking for work goes into a toy factory.
The Personnel Manager goes over her resume and explains to her that he regrets he has nothing worthy of her. The blonde answers that she really needs work and will take almost anything. The Personnel Manager hems and haws and finally says he does have a low skill job on the Tickle-Me-Elmo line and nothing else. The blonde happily accepts.. He takes her down to the line and explains her duties and that she should come in at 8am the next day.
The next day at 8:45 there's a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Tickle-Me-Elmo line manager comes in and starts ranting about the blonde just hired. After screaming for 15 minutes about how badly backed up the assembly line is, the Personnel Manager suggested he be shown the problem.
Together they head down to the line and sure enough Elmos are backed up from here to kingdom come. Right at the end of the line is the blonde just hired. She has pulled over a roll of the material used for the Elmos and has a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric and takes 2 marbles and starts sewing them between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager starts to kill himself laughing and finally after 20 minutes of rolling around, he pulls himself together and walks over to the new employee and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. What I wanted you to do was give Elmo two test tickles."
2006-10-29 08:58:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
A Blonde's Year in Review
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was
too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to
print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in
typewriter!!!
March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6
months.....box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went
out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't
fit into those little packets!!!
June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a
lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....
learned later that other swimmers cheated, they used
their arms!!!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car
swamped because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't
it???
October - Hate M&M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....
instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no
"eleven" button on the phone!!!
A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT".
After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES".
By the time she drove eight miles, shehad cleaned 43 restrooms.
2006-10-29 18:48:50 · answer #2 · answered by Zodiac_Child 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.
A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it." I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
Q: Why did the blonde nurse bring a red marker to work?
A: In case she had to draw blood!
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
2006-10-29 16:31:37 · answer #3 · answered by ACTiNGisLiFE 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
1. some bondes were in a bar and they were chanting"53 days 53 days 53 days". some more blondes came in and they canted the same thing.suddenly the put a huge puzzel in the middle of the table.the waiter came over and asked the blondes why they were canting 53 days, the blondes said on the side of a 100000000 piece puzzel that it said 10 to 13 year but they put it togeather in 53 days.
(i bet they couldn't even say the number 100000000.ps.i am a blonde)lol
2. Q. how do you kill a blonde?
A. put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottem of a pool
3. 2 blondes were walking in the woods and one blonde says"hey look there are some deer tracks" then the other blond says"no those are wolf trackes"they kept arguing and then 1 hour later they got ran over by a train.
2006-10-29 17:19:39 · answer #4 · answered by flippinadamoruggiero 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
1.Football FINALLY makes sense..........
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles,
but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!
2. A girl calls up her boyfriend and she says: "Can you come and help me? I am trying to do this really hard puzzle and I can't figure it out."
The boyfriend asks: "What is it supposed to be?"
The girl responds: "A tiger."
So the boy agrees to come over. When he gets there she has the pieces spread out all over the table. The boy sighs and says:
"No matter how hard you try you are never going to make that into a tiger. Now lets put the cereal back into the box."
;) Hope you like em.
2006-10-29 16:27:20 · answer #5 · answered by smileforawile 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
There were three women, a redhead, a brunette and a blonde, who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups. The doctor asked the redhead, "In what position was the baby conceived ?"
"He was on top ", she replied.
"You will have a boy !" the doctor exclaimed.
The brunette was asked the same question.
"I was on top ", was the reply.
"You will have a baby girl. " said the doctor.
With this, the blonde burst into tears.
"What's the matter ?" asked the doc.
"Does this mean I'm going to have.....puppies ?"
2006-10-29 16:24:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Blonde guy joke??
A blond guy, a brunnette guy and a red head guy
take their girlfriends on a triple date to a
restaurant. The brunnette guy say to his
wife, "Pass the honey, honey!" She says ''awww
your sweet!'' The red head thinks ''Man that guys
good'', so he says to his girlfriend, "Pass the
sugar, sugar!" Shes says ''Awww I love you!'' The
blond guy thinks ''wow they are good'', so he says
to his girlfriend, "Pass the pork, pig!"
2006-10-29 21:29:21 · answer #7 · answered by ‹‹тồкỹỌ‗ßõŸ›› 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A there are two blondes standing outside at night. The first one says " What do you think is closer? Florida or the moon?" The other one says " can YOU see Florida?"
2006-10-29 16:25:30 · answer #8 · answered by ... 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I know a REALLY good one.
how a blond gets confused:
put her in a round room and tell her to find a corner.
how a blond confuses you:
when she says she found the corner.
LOL
2006-10-29 16:55:56 · answer #9 · answered by mistery person 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Q: why did the blonde tip toe to the medication draw
A: she didnt want to wake the sleeping pills =]
2006-10-29 16:24:05 · answer #10 · answered by ☮☆♡ 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋