Kirk was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
Kirk took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" Kirk asked.
"No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" Kirk asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" Kirk asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said Kirk, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife Kim."
The homeless man was astounded.
"Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
Kirk replied, "That's okay, I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling, golf and sex.
2006-10-29 08:01:50 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
omg i love it i cant stop laughing that is so good thank you !!!!I JUST CALLED MY SISTER IN LAW READ IT TO HER SHES IS CRACKING UP
2006-10-29 08:06:56 · answer #1 · answered by little_outlaw_angel 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've heard variations on this joke over the years, and I still cackle when I hear another one. But of course, on the serious side, there is almost always a tragedy behind every joke. It's the way our minds have of dealing with the tragic situations that we know are all around us. If we couldn't "lighten" the weight of them somehow we'd never make it in a world that is so full of tragic situations.
I've sometimes heard people reprimanding others for "joking" about an issue that is often far from funny It has nothing to do with being callous, or uncaring. It's just that any mature person knows that a properly functioning mind is a balanced one, and sometimes we just HAVE to put a little something on the other side of the scale to accomplish that.
2006-10-29 16:12:18 · answer #2 · answered by sharmel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is super funny, but mine are just as funny.
One is a song, and another is a Michael Jackson joke.
Number 1:
(Sung to the tune of 'I believe I Can Fly')
â« I believe I can die, â«
â« I got ran over by the Ice Cream guy, â«
â« All I wanted was a popsicle, â«
â« Instead I ended up in a hospital . . . â«
Number 2:
Q: What does a television and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They both can get turned on by three year olds.
That's all I got.
2006-10-29 16:14:26 · answer #3 · answered by xinnybuxlrie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL, Men are allows trying to keep doing something that their wife don't want them to do, so bringing a homeless man, that probably lied about all that to show his wife that she really don't want her husband to stop doing all that, is a SHAME!!!!
2006-10-29 16:06:30 · answer #4 · answered by afinechic_2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG how funny!!!!! Poor man, he needs the dinner after giving up all that.
2006-10-29 16:05:36 · answer #5 · answered by LunaFaye 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
LOL. He didn't think it through. If she's such a Nag about it all, imagine what he'll hear when they get home! LOL. LOL.
2006-10-31 18:26:03 · answer #6 · answered by jfmm 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's so funny!
Thumbs up for your joke!
2006-10-29 16:06:00 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
funny
2006-10-29 16:05:49 · answer #8 · answered by dawnsdad 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that was a good one, lol. Take care
2006-10-29 16:05:53 · answer #9 · answered by lonewolf8870 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK it's funny but what's the question????
2006-10-29 16:23:18 · answer #10 · answered by Mailman Bob 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋