Tricky relationship break up question...what now?

Question

In May, my boyfriend of 5 yrs broke up w/me. We were living in different cities & he found a journal whereI had written my thoughts about another man (my boss). I was also pretty selfish for some of the 5 yrs. He paid for me to pursue my career in another town; he was so affectionate; and because I had a few issues growing up, I was controlling sometimes.
In June, to apologize, I moved to where he lived, got my own apartment and started my life here. He wouldn't talk to me for most of July/August-- then asked me out on a date at the end of August. Since then- last two months- he has begun to call more, and we'll hang out at my place a couple nights a week; we even took a road trip to see a concert, but he refused to stay overnight. He invited me to a family thing a month ago with him BUT, there has been NO physcial contact, not even a hug if I shed a tear. He says he's not ready. It's been 5 months. Women love him and I'm afraid to lose him. What should I do? Just wait?

Also, he still has my picture up in his office and at his house, but often talks about how women find him attractive. He calls to tell me about work and how stressful his day was...but he has a lot of big walls around him right now. He told me I looked beautiful for the first time last night and called 'our' dog his baby-- something he hasn't done since the break up. I know these are silly little things, but I'm just trying to assess whether he really wants this to work and why it feels as if it is taking so long for him to open up to me.

I guess my biggest fear is that now that I'm 33, he will let this reconcilation period go on without any intimacy and I believe intimacy is key for emotional repair. How long is too long? Six months? A year? He truly is the best man and person I have ever met.

Answer 1

Yes just wait,,this guy sounds perfect..dont let him go and dont hurt him again.

Answer 2

I would take advantage of this new found friendship. he seems to be very comfortable with you. If I were to guess I would say that he may be testing you. (not in a bad way) but want to know that this time the 'issues' won't be there. I wouldn't get upset about it. Enjoy your time together and be patient. Sounds like you two have a lot of history and he's hangin out with you for a reason. I would say he still loves you but is afraid of the bad stuff.
Keep smiling and no pressure. I think the two of you will be fine with time.
~T~

Answer 3

Give him time. He is still hurting, what you have to do is keep talking about what was in your journal, so you and him can put all of your cards on the table. Tell him that you have grown up a lot, since then, and that you love him more now then you have ever. Say I am sorry, But will you ever forgive me? Am I wasting my time, waiting for you to love me again? Say please tell me what you want? What I am saying is you need to confront him, Get him to talk to you!