Do you lie to your kids about pets dieing?

Question

I bought a fish for my 3 years old and when it died I didn't hesitate one bit about telling her the truth. I told her Dion died. She asked me what that meant and I told her that he didn't live anymore and that he wasn't going to come back to us. She had no problem with that. I think she knows what it means to die. She's said to me before, "Mommy, if you die I will be really sad." I think it has helped her to learn about death with a pet before a relative that she loves. A friend of mine told her daughter that when her fish died it got too big for the fish tank and had to go swim in the river. I just don't understnad what the big deal is...let them learn, and hurt, and experience all the feelings that come with life. Do other people tell their kids that the fish (or dog or cat or whatever) died or do they lie? And why do you lie? What lies have you told?

Answer 1

I thought that it was only my husband that told our child the truth about death, even when our cat had died when she was two,well almost three. We do believe it is only the best to tell the truth about death. Like u were saying your friend told the child that the fish had to go swim in the lake , well what is she going to say when a family member dies? She can not say they got to big and had to swim in the lake. If u do not tell the truth about death now then when are u going to tell the truth about death. Yes it is hard on everyone when it comes to a death but everyone has to deal with it.

Answer 2

We had a pet get run over by a car and we told my stepdaughter the truth. Her cat on the other hand which I could not STAND had to go when I was pregnant. So I got rid of her and when she comes to visits and askes where Tinker is we tell her she hasnt come home yet. Sometimes though its best to lie to your kids about things like that why, I really dont know.

Answer 3

We had our road paved last year and the paving truck hit my cat. I didnt know about it until the next week or so because he never came home. When he finally did make it up to the door he had one leg that was just crushed to pieces and the other was just hanging on by the skin and fur. There was black dried up asphalt stuck all over him. I took him to the animal hospital and there was nothing they could do for him because the infection had set in so bad already. We had to put him to sleep so he would no longer be in agony. My kids were home when I found him and they knew I had to take him to the animal hospital. When I came home without him they were terribly upset. I told them that the vet had never seen such a beautiful white cat with sky blue eyes before and he wanted to know if he could take him home. I told the kids that the cat needed so much attention because he now had 2 broken legs that the vet wanted to keep him and take care of him so he didnt have to stay in the hospital with all those other sick animals. They were pleased to know that he is being well taken care of.

Answer 4

I am a pet store owner. And have parents ( Manly Mom's) come in trying to replace the animal with an animal that looks just like it so that they will never know. And this is one of my biggest pet peeves. I think that people are trying to protect there kids. But, what they are doing is harming them. Most parents would not shield their kids from birth. But, they are so afraid of having their kids hurt that they will hid the fact that an animal died.

Parents: Please do not do this to your children. You are doing your kids more harm than good. Death is just as a part of life as birth. We will all die someday. Tell your kids the truth and let them morn.

Answer 5

I agree. I believe lying to them is not really protecting them from pain, but creating in them ignorance. My parents never lied to us. Even about Santa Clause, when we asked, they told, we still had fun playing and pretending, I mean we still left cookies and carrots for Santa until we left home...it was a fun tratition. I don't think we should lie to our children at all. If it is something we don't think they will understand or don't think they can handle the knowlege, we can simplify. I believe you are wise to teach your little girl about death and dying. More than likely, she will have to experience it later on in life, and the better she understands now, the better able she will be to cope with it then.

Answer 6

This is a tough subject for most parents. I say tell them the truth. Yes it will hurt. However it will not hurt forever. Death is part of life. They need to grow up knowing this

Answer 7

yea its good to tell ur kids the truth u dont want them growing up thinkin every thing u say is gonna be a lie..u did the right thing ... they should know about death in a good way just dont scare them half to death..if u explain it to them at a young age then its better than tryinmg to explain it to them when thier older..the say the younger u are the easier it is to understand things and comprehend .....but when your older its harder to learn ..that where a lot of teens get behind..the dont learn as well as they did in elementray and things..so u did the right thing...

Answer 8

I agree with you, i have two children aged 11 and 13 and have always tried to tell them the truth and let them know about the world we live in, i dont think its done them any harm whatsoever and they appreciate and respect that.

Answer 9

I would not lie about it. If you will lie about your child's pet dying what else will you lie to them about? I do believe in honesty and telling your children, gently though, is the right thing to do. It will help them deal with life's reality at times and teach them important lessons.

Answer 10

Nope, I tell my son the truth all the time. In fact, I have him help me send the fishys to heaven. He understands and he accepts that everything is not forever.