He is very handsome and fun. I am not making this up. He had about 200 women a year for 13 years. How do I keep him focused solely on me and get him to the altar. We do not have any stds and he was sexually abused badly as a child.
2006-10-29 05:25:44 · 35 answers · asked by Kendra H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You may want to hold off on the altar bit until he's had some therapy. A LOT of sexually abused men have tendencies toward doing the same to others if they don't get therapy first. But therapy can really help. Try to find someone who specializes in crime victim treatment, treatment for PTSD, or at least in sexual abuse, (although the last one isn't always that helpful). Be careful about who you choose to have kids with. Honestly, there's no point in bothering with marriage until he gets help and shows signs of coming out of his sexual addiction phase. When he does, you won't have to worry about keeping his attention sexually because he'll be more into your friendship than into just sex. He needs to know that he has more valuable things to offer than sex and that he's a great friend. Good luck!
2006-10-29 05:37:53 · answer #1 · answered by kim b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to try to keep his attention I would say you are in trouble already. Do you think marriage will change anything? The born again thing does where off after a while, for some it's just another addiction.
You are trying to control his behavior; both of you are not ready for a healthy relationship. When you "get him to the alter" do you think a magic fairy is gonna make everything perfect?
2006-10-29 05:32:37 · answer #2 · answered by crct2004 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is there any chance that this guy is BiPolar? I'm asking because his past behavior sounds manic. Before looking for a commitment from him, do a little research and see if has a mental illness. It's quite a 360 degree turn from being a casanova to a born again Christian. Something doesn't add up with this guy.. Proceed cautiously...
2006-10-29 05:30:08 · answer #3 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first off, your bf been counting for a long time and hasn't lost count what did he have a chart of the amount of women he sleeps with per year. how come he decided after 'so many women' (understatement seens like a whole ******* army full of them) to become a born again christian seems odd.
if he is a born again christian then he'll want to settle down with someone and if he's with you then obviously it could be you so i think his attention is on you at the moment, so just give it time.
2006-10-29 05:38:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Past should stay in the past. The most important is the present time. I truly believe that people can change if they want to do it themselves. If being a born again Christian worked for him - Great! Everyone deserves a chance.
Only time will show you if he could be monogamous.
Listen to your heart and be yourself. Do not rush to the altar, it will come if it is meant to be.
good luck.
2006-10-29 05:38:27 · answer #5 · answered by tanyasiv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um right, talk about a pity party. Born again Christian is bullshet. He should be able to focus on just you if he could make a decision as far as becoming a christian to feel like a virgin again all of a sudden. No matter what he did, his past is still there and it's up to him to get over it and change.
2006-10-29 05:27:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok the real question is why is he telling you he slept with all these women. This is a huge red flag! It is eather a sign of a serious sexual addiction or extreme bragadoccio. Both signal some deep problem.
2006-10-29 05:33:33 · answer #7 · answered by dpon62 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
over 2200 women... yeah, right... that's something i won't believe... if a guy had that many women, honey i don't mean to be mean, but i don't think any woman will be able to get him to the altar... good luck with the Casanova... I have a question myself for you... You knew this when you met him, why would you still go for it?.. did you think you would be able to change him? you know you can't change him, he gotta change himself and that doesn't happen that often... he really gotta want it... good luck...
2006-10-29 05:31:23 · answer #8 · answered by ILuvMe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might not be making it up- but he is. Give us a break, he's trying to act like the **** with you. Think about it. That's a brand new woman more than every other day. He's trying to pretend he's just so stupidly hot that a girl will sleep with him just by looking at him, and then disappear. It's probably more like 70 women, believe me.
2006-10-29 05:28:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you both have been tested for STDs. Your bf should probably have therapy before you settle into a long-term relationship with him. If he has really slept with so many women, it's highly likely that he'll continue to do so.
2006-10-29 05:28:38 · answer #10 · answered by Blue Jean 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋