one for the blokes old enough to know the answer?

Question

if you been hurt by unfaithfull girlfriend or partner does that mean that you lose all your trust in in the next one that you think alot of ? and end up possesive and jealous and scared to get too involved

Answer 1

depends on the person, but most of the time it can have a serious effect on your next relationship.

Answer 2

Not necessarily. I became very careful after one of my relationships. I get into relationships a whole lot slower now almost at a snails pace and don't love as easily or freely as before.So, yes. I am in a sense scared. I have also grown far more blunt and much less tolerant.

I am not possessive or jealous however, I am more likely to walk away from a relationship than to continually work at saving it. I find being jealous as a waste of precious time, my precious time.

An important thing to remember is that the new person in your life isn't the one who hurt you, and that becuase someone else did it doesn't mean this person will.
It is hard to do and I guess it's the reason why I try to make sure I take a break between relationships, so I carry as little baggage from the last to the new one.

Try to relax and take your new relationship for what it is; an oppertunity to enjoy yourself and the company of yet nother intersting person. Go from there but keep your eyes open.

Answer 3

Sad is it is to say been there seen that and yes got the T shirt. When you have had the trust abused in a former relationship (which ever side betrayed the trust) it is 100% harder to have trust for the next person - No matter what you think - The problem lies when you don't understand each other or if the person your with has had a bit of a reputation. Trust is something that has to then be built upon, it can not be taken for granted. This is when you have to learn the art of communication - this is itself one of life's hardest lessons between two people.

learn that every individual has there own definition of trust and what trust means. this applies to friends,family and relationships.

In your relationship be honest yourself (here a form of trust0 be honest enough to say that you need time to build up the trust between you, and if you like a watered down reason why. other people don't always understand - there mentality is'nt;t the same so you sometimes have to spell it out to them. Its a difficult thing to do - but having had a few of life's experiences this is the own that i and all the people i have spoken to all agree on.

COMMUNICATION IS KEY.

Good Luck with everything

Answer 4

It takes a long time to get over being cheated on. It can be very difficult to control the feelings.

There will probably be trust issues for a while and it may take years to overcome them. Its only natural, just like a woman would feel.

He may be quite possesive at first and would not appreciate her having 'Male Friends'.

After being with a new partner for a few years, certain things will help him to realise that this partner is different and won't worry so much. Its best not to talk about the past. Just lovingly re assure and understand if he gets twitchy about something.

Answer 5

It can be very hurtful, and you end up staying in doing a lot of soul searching, wondering what went wrong, as women will never tell you EXACTLY what was wrong, that caused them to leave. I'm not discouraged, but it will be a long time before I will devote my heart and soul to a woman only for it to be destroyed.

I still go to dating sites, but only to look. You can tell from what they say whether you'll be good enough. I'm an endless money pit, I'm too nice(ie I don't beat or abuse women, but sadly this seems to be what they want), I can cook, I do the shopping, I do the washing up, I do the housework. Women don't want men who can do these thing and help them around the house, they want men who'll beat them up and treat them like dirt.

Answer 6

well yes in most cases it can have a serious effect on the next relationship but the new partner must work hard to earn that guys trust and must be patient with him and show him that not everyone is stone cold and make him understand that love is pain and not everything should go his way. if he gets that thins will start flowing. that's pretty much it.

Answer 7

Depends on the person.
After my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me, I found it hard to trust again. I ended several relationships at the 1st sign of trouble as I was scared of getting hurt/too involved.
Even now with my present gf i dont tll her I love her enough even though I love her to bits, because im scared one day she is going to throw it back in my face.

Answer 8

No, you have to give people the benefit of the doubt. Early on in a relationship, you have to accept that a person can make a decision that you are not for them, and really they don't "owe" you a thing..
Obviously, if it's a serious long term relationship you expect a little loyalty, and if they fancy someone else, it would be polite for them to "give you notice" as it were.

Answer 9

you dont loose your trust to next one but you are more protective to your self you try to not been hurt by the same way and you will be a litle possesive but not as you say to scared to get involved

Answer 10

It all depends on how you deal with it. Its typical to hold back in your next relationship, but really isnt fair since it is a different person. One needs to realize that we need to trust until we are given a reason not to.

Answer 11

Different people react differently to the same thing. So guys may be like that and some may be able to handle it and realise it not them. Though most who find diffuclty trusting again.