Why do single mothers use their child as a weapon?

Question

Recently, I started dating men that have children and I hear this story way too many times...she won't let me see my child. The fathers are paying child support and they always have to end up going to court to get visitation rights because the mother wants to act like a fool when it comes to seeing the child. But why do they have to even go through all that? It seems as though fathers have absoultley no rights whatsoever even if the mother is CRAZY which I think is crazy.

Why do women do this to their child? I am a single mom and I couldn't imagine doing this to my son. His dad and I worked it out amongst ourselves and he gets our son every other week. I ENJOY every minute of my freedom and I can't wait for him to come and get him so he can spend quality time with him. So this is why I don't understand how a mother would use their child as a weapon. Does anyone know someone doing this type of thing or are you yourself doing it?

Ok, don't take what I say way out of context. Yes I know some dudes lie about the situation and I know some guys do not deserve visitation. I'm talking about the dads that ARE telling the truth and the dads who DO deserve visitaion and the women that are not letting them. These are the ones I'm referring to.

Answer 1

Because some women are vengeful. If the man doesn't want to be with them, then she uses what she can to get back at him. Sad, but it does happen in some cases.

Personally, I think it is sad when a really great guy isn't allowed to see his child because the woman is being childish. Sickens me.

Not all single women do that though. I know a lot of guys are denied their kids because the guys are worthless. (Never seeing the kids, popping in and then leaving for months at a time,drug addicts, whatever)

It just kills me when the kids are used like that though. It really messes them up.

Answer 2

I don't "use" my daughter as a weapon at all....her dad doesn't deserve to get to see her.. and when i hear a guy say i don't get to see my child because the mother wont let me..i automatically think of scum...even if they do pay child-support that doesn't give them a right to do anything else. If they were so concerned about being in the child's life they'd get an attorney and go to court. My daughters father..is the worst BOY ever. He's on drugs. he shoots up...he screws anything within a mile radius. He cant keep a job longer then a week. He's got more tickets then a book can hold...so why should I just because id like to have a weekend away septa my daughter to this? why would she deserve to see him strung out? he's got 3 children all of them by 3 different girls? i dont care if he lays down and dies within the next 30 minutes he wont ever get to see my daughter. She's not my weapon at all and i dont think you should be able to pass judgement on why a mother would or wouldnt let a sperm donar see his child unless you k now all the information...by the way good for you for letting your son see his dad....some of us just dont get that lucky!


72 a week damn girl your lucky mines only gotta pay 41 hahaha but then again he can keep a job for very long...i really know what you mean about them seeing the other daughter and i hate that crap mines got his second daughtersnamed tattooed and that girl slept with his dad...jeez...

Answer 3

First of all you can't believe everything you hear, remember there is 2 sides to every story.My daughters father hasn't seen my daughter in 2 years and he tells me people how I had taken him to court for CHILD SUPPORT and how I don't let him see her.What he doesn't say is how his CHILD SUPPORT is only $72 a week and he hasn't paid it since the order was issued,or how he sees my sister all the time and never bothers to ask about his daughter. Not to mention he takes care of his other kids with no problem but keep in mind he still sleeps with their mother even though they aren't together.Now don't get me wrong I know they are some women that are sick in the head and when they are doing stuff like that more than likely they are being spiteful.

Answer 4

Its not always that way. Did it ever occur to you that some of them may be lieing? My sister thought the same thing about her boyfriends baby mamma, until she ended up in the same position. Right now she is getting ready to take him to court to make sure he has NO contact whatsoever with her and her son, his other baby mommma already has. Its not because they are being bitches and just want money. Hell my sister said if they try to send her child support checks that she will tear them up. In her case she has to do this, he was a drug dealer, he was thrown in jail for it and a couple accounts of assault and now he is out and at it again. Sometimes its necessary to keep the father away. Would you keep a baby daddy around thats into drugs, and is always on the run just because you want your child to spend time with him?

Answer 5

Some do, some don't and vice versa. Secondly I always say, it is important to hear both sides of the story. Obviously you won't hear the other side. Maybe there are reasons for this. Yes, it is hard for a father to prove a mother unfit in the courts eyes. It is even harder for her to lose custody. Not everyone can work things out unfortunately and actually it is very rare so you are lucky. Your son is lucky.

Answer 6

I do it. It is because I know the TRUE side of the story. I know that my son's dad did drugs. He has warrents out for his arrest. That he said that he was going to take him and run when he got him. That he is $18,000.00 in Child support and that he owes around $8,000.00 in daycare cost. That when he was served papers, that he didn't respond and he lost all rights. That he moved to a different state and the only time he called is when he wanted to borrow money from ME.

You want to know what he tells his girlfriends? That he never did drugs. That he was never in jail. He tried to get visitations but I ran. (Live in the same place) That he doesn't owe child support. That he called all the time to check on my son.

Men will tell you what they want. The mom is keeping him away for a reason. I have my reason. And it isn't because I am crazy. It is because I have taken care of my son. I have insurance when the father is suppose to. There is always a different side to every story.

Answer 7

I was a single mother for many years (12). My exhusband chose not to see our child. His loss. I too know many woman that use the child as a weapon or a way to "hurt" the other parent. If there is no court order saying the father or non custodial parent can see the child then by all rights she doesnt "have to" let him. Sad but true. My husband has a 6yr old from a very bad self destructive off and on again 10 yr relationship. The woman is beyond CRAZY and I dont think I have enough room here to tell you all about it. However after a 2 yr legal battle costing us over 40,000 dollars he is allowed to see her 2 weekends a month {of his choosing}, every other xmas he has her starting on xmas eve, every thanksgiving, every spring break and every summer for 45 days. The mother still tries to prevent this even though he does all the traveling {500 miles ONE WAY and he has only missed one visitation due to the birth of our son and the mom told him he needed to chose the new baby or their daughter!} she attempts to make it impossible or uncomfortable for him to the point we had to arrage for a 3rd party {my father in law} to pick up and drop off the child. When my husband calls to talk to his daughter {4 times a week} the mother either doesnt answer the phone, doesnt return phone calls, or makes an excuse as to why the child can not talk such as "she's watching cartoons" or my favorite "she's eating a bowl of popcorn"! When he does get to talk to his daughter you can always hear Sam in the background yelling "get off the phone you've talked long enough". There are occassions all to familure to me where she'll answer the phone and just start cussing at my husband for no reason, she'll yell at me for answering my OWN home phone or my husband's cell phone {which is in my name}..

I guess alot of it is infact what I said at the beginning its to hurt the other person. My husband's ex has it in my stepdaughters mind that "mom and dad will get back together" even though we've even had a restraining order placed on her because of physical threats. One day she'll wake up and realize that everything she is doing will bite her in the ***. After all she's been in contempt of court so many times that the judge is considering reversing his orginal decision regarding custody {which is another story all together seeing as she didnt have anything to do with the child for 4 yrs then showed up out of no where and took her}

Now mind you this woman is an alcohlic, uses meth, and is verbally and physically abusive to the children {she has 2 kids}. And she is bi polar and will not take medication. She admitted all this in court when she chose to defend herself in the custody battle but the judge said "just because you tell me you are doesnt make it true, You could tell me that you have seen flying monkey's doesnt make it so". And do NOT get me started on the childs eating habits which consists soely of junk food which is why she just turned 6 yrs old in May and weighs 80 pounds {the same weight as my 13yr old daughter}! Its McDonalds every night she'll even tell you that "when the sun goes down we go to McDonalds". And she has a complete and utter fit when she is with us because we do not allow those eating habits in our home.

Answer 8

properly, actually that's lot much less complicated if as quickly as the new child is eighteen the be sure who has been wronged merely gets in touch with him/her. And to be truthful, if a the new child (now and person) actual desires to get in touch with yet another be sure they are in a position to do this themselves. in the event that they choose to be sure the courtroom papers, then they are in a position to invite their mothers and dads for copies. that's the way of the international, some mothers are nasty, some fathers dodge duty, yet that does no longer mean all separated mothers and dads are irresponsible. i do no longer think of one be sure getting the papers and forcing them directly to the new child is actual any diverse to using it as a weapon while that's little. If the 18 year previous would properly be bothered then that's as much as them ask.

Answer 9

There are two sides to the story, he may not be acting right himself. Some men play the victim role, but it's their fault. If they dont know how to act right or take care of a child, why leave them alone with them? And if something went wrong, the mother would blame herself because she could've prevented it, if she knew the father's behavior towards the child.

Answer 10

My ex would do thid as a way to punish me for leaving her, she also wanted to have her own family which didn't include me so building a new world with out me was a way to create this imanginary "new Fanily" my son is now 22 and is learning how his mother enterfered with our relationship and is more understanding of whay i wasn't there alot for him. There are some cases where drugs and alcohol can not be a good enviroment for kids even though they have rights to see their children- or abusesive people should be watched when spending time with their children