here's the deal. me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 months. we met in a coffee shop not far from our work places and it was love at first sight. we are also neighbours, so pretty soon we practically started living together. he even says that he wants to marry me and i feel the same.
so, what's the problem? well, my beau is a registered member of our country's most popular online dating service. although we have an intense relationship, he continues to log in every day. he talks to girls in a manner i would describe as flirting but he sticks to his explanation that he just teases them. some of those girls are as young as 17-18. on the other hand, he doesn't approve me going out with my best friend on saturday nights (she is also in a serious relationship) because he thinks i'm too flirtatious and that i'm attracted to the thought of strange guys hitting on me, although i wouldn't trade my bf for anything.
so, who's the crazy one here? is it me or is it him? please help, tnx!
2006-10-29 04:18:06 · 23 answers · asked by kitty-cat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is definitely the crazy one. If he wants to marry you, he shouldn't be logging into an online dating service everyday. Either that needs to stop or he needs to give you as much freedom as you seem to be giving him. I think the two of you need to have a discussion about where this relationship is actually going. He shouldn't be teasing random young girls.
2006-10-29 04:21:18 · answer #1 · answered by Nikolai 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your both not as serious about this relationship as you may think. Because if he wanted to marry you, then you would be engaged right now. And to be honest, it sounds like its better your not. If he is registered as a member of a dating online service, then he is dating others besides you. You just don't know about them. Because if he is talking to them online, eventually he WILL meet them. It is only a matter of time. And how do you know that he isn't talking to minors that are younger than 18, like say 15 or even younger. You don't know, you only know what he tells you. And unfortuntely he may not know also. But if he is really serious about you he would have cancelled his membership and not even been continuing talking to them online. He says, he is just teasing them? Why? When he should be teasing you instead. Right? Plain and simple. Also you say he doesn't approve..why should he approve? You are in charge of your own life. He shouldn't be telling you who to see or where to go, just because he doesn't like it? Doesn't work that way. If he is like that now, what do you think he will be like if you do get married? And if you don't like him teasing other minors because that is what they are, at 17, why doesn't he stop? You both have been together 7 months and this is still going on, it will continue because you allow it too. Before you get married, if you do, think long and hard about this situation. Words are one thing, actions speak louder than words.
2006-10-29 04:32:02 · answer #2 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is a really jealous guy. You don't want a guy no matter how bad you think you do, that won't even let you go hang out with your friend. However, about the dating service, maybe he just likes to flirt, I mean would you rather him flirt online or flirt with girls he can actually see. Now about the 17 year old part.. hes a sicko... ok not really but he does need to watch that part because the FBI and Other agencies have began to watch the internet alot, Don't want him getting introuble if he starts talkign to younger women... ya know.. anyway.. I say dump his butt anyway to jelous.
2006-10-29 04:26:56 · answer #3 · answered by morfusaf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither of you are crazy, and both of you have a cause. He views his "flirting" on the internet as innocent becuase he cannot immediatly act on the flirtations, while you on the other hand could with your friend you flirt with. You view his internet flirting as not so innocent, because you feel that you could act on your intentions, and you realize that your friend is just a friend, and nothing more.
To rememdy the situation, you could have him meet your friend. You could also explain to him that why he is very important to you, you have to have outside social stimulation. You could also tell him in an explaining (not yelling) manner that his internet flirting is really bothering you, and while you might not expect him to completely cease and assist, that you think he should limit it down.
Overall though, some people just like to flirt, and usually it stays at that. But if it's bothering you, you have to remedy the problem, or the relationship won't work in the long run.
2006-10-29 04:24:44 · answer #4 · answered by Bobby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well both of you are first you go out Saturday nights which is what is the problem i would say 75% so instead of you going by your self show that he is the only bf in your life by taking him with you and see a movie together or go on a date just the 2 of you!! another opption is a romantic getaway NO ELECTRONICS WHAT SO EVER this will be perfect for you and him because you can get him away from the CPU and just talk and talk for 2-3 days this may be the medicine you 2 need!!
2006-10-29 04:26:14 · answer #5 · answered by delta_bonds 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure how you and your bf are but if he is talking to younger girls he might be trying to move on. I am not sure. but this is for sure. Controling relationships hurt. You need to stand up for yourself and say Hey I am going out with my friend. Maybe you should go out with the guys. This way you have your freedom too. EVERY girl needs to hang out with JUST the girls. It is part of life. If he has the freedom to flirt you should too. It sounds like he is a hipocryte. he says one thing but does another. he dont want you flirting but he can do it. Another thing. If you talking about marriage you should not be flirting. My mom met my step dad online and he is great. He does not do that stuff. They dont flirt with others. I just dont think it is right for a guy to flirt ALL the time when he is taken. I think you need to talk to him about it. Communication is the key to a relationship. Only thing that will help is if you express your feelings on the situation. Try to avoid accusing him. Good luck hun. Remember to stick up for yourselfr
2006-10-29 04:34:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds super controling and may even end up abusive leter on if not already. u dont need a selfish controling asshole in ur life. if u turn around u already have an asshole, u dont need another! haha. but seriously, do u know if hes had a stable childhood? most abusive people were abused in the past. if u dont know much about his past, and u guys wanna marry???? hes hiding **** from u, it may be hard but it will be worth it to u in the long run to move on. dont try to settle on someone u think u can change. he wont, he may act like it when u leave him but he will always end up being an *** again and it just gets worse. get out while u still can:)
2006-10-29 04:24:51 · answer #7 · answered by snagglepuss731 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! Ok, so here's the dealiio. I feel like if you guys are in a serious commited relationship, and you are talking about marriage, then you need to be able to trust one another. If he is a flirty man by nature, theres nothing you can do to change that. That just means that he enjoys the chase and he'll probably chase for the rest of his life. If you try to make him stop his little online hobby, it'll most likely move on to real life, and you most certainly don't want that. But if you are going to let him keep on doing it, let him know that you still feel uncomfortable with it, and that you ust want to be in on "the game" with him. And as for you going out on saturday nights, he has to be able to trust you. You and your girlfriend are both in serious relationships, so most likely nothing is going to happen, but by that same token, bring him out with you guys every once in a while too! Go out on doubles, or single dates! Keep the romance and chase alive for the both of you. Good luck hun! <3
2006-10-29 04:23:59 · answer #8 · answered by Chipper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither of you are crazy, but if you want to keep this relationship going you two need to talk about your feelings on this. It's really not fair for him to have a double standard. Tell him so and see if the two of you can compromise, if not maybe you should evaluate how much this guy means to you.
2006-10-29 04:24:05 · answer #9 · answered by perfectlypreppy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a male, and I find intelligence to be the sexiest thing in a girl. That, and quirkiness, weirdness, whatever. How she looks really isn't a big deal to me, as long as she doesn't look like a dog or isn't the size of a whale.
2016-05-22 05:24:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋