THIS IS THE BEST PLACE TO VENT!! I cannot stand my step-son! My husband and I have been married just over 3 years. I've given my all to try and be a good mom to his son, since his own mother never gave him any morals or good examples (she used to smoke pot in front of him!!). I treated him like my own girls. He lived with his father and I since we got married, his mother could not handle the responsibility. He was unruley as a young child, and was diagnosed with ADHD. I took that into consideration over the years. Being the smart *** as he is, he would always have an answer, you could never have the last word. Never ever would he lift a finger to pitch in around the house unless he was asked directly, or left a detailed note. This past year has been the worst. In April he went to live with his mother (not too far away). He is now 17. Last year he was accidentally shot in the eye with a pellet gun, and is blind in the left eye. (continued)
2006-10-29 04:08:19 · 7 answers · asked by LARGE MARGE 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ever since then he has been totally rude, never keeps himself clean, burps and farts right out in front of everyone, eats like an animal, throws himself on the sofa, and wrecks all the pillows, etc. and turns on the cartoons. If I dare say anything, he gets "mad" at me, so I just shut my mouth. His father doesn't repremand him at all. I am not about to start an argument, because I am not going to start a huge family problem. Sooner or later, it will become a problem between me and my husband. I've talked to him about it, and if my girls acted like that, the roof would cave in! Today was the last straw. He comes over only every other weekend. He needed to shower, and he said he wanted to go home to shower, IT WAS CLEANER! Sorry, we have a leak in the roof, and had to open the cieling...it's not "dirty", I just cleaned and mopped day before yesterday. I told him he never lifted a finger around the house when he lived here, and I said no more. He since went home to shower. ERRRR
2006-10-29 04:14:24 · update #1
As I said, it has basically been this past year he has been totally impossible to be around. Yes, he has been on medication, but has been weined off it this past year.
2006-10-29 04:18:08 · update #2
His father actually does nothing. When his son announced he wanted to shower at home because it was cleaner, all his father said was, "That's not nice". Not to tell him to apologize, or correct him.
All I know is it will just be a matter of time, and I won't have to deal with his rude actions any longer, I have a second job to keep myself occupied away from home for the times he does come over, it actually came down to that!
2006-10-29 04:23:45 · update #3
His mom is a tough one. She can be nasty when she wants to be. She had a job, but after getting married, her husband had this huge settlement, and she then quit her job. Neither of them work. They went on a buying spree, bought the son not one, but TWO new computers, IPODS, new everything, and now he thinks living with mom is like Christmas everyday! His dad doesn't want to "upset" him, so he does not discipline him as he should when he comes over. The kid is now 17, and has had everything handed to him thru his whole life. I am not about to contribute to it anymore. Today was the last straw.
2006-10-29 04:30:06 · update #4
If he is 17 and now lives with his mom, all you have to do now is be cordial. He is your hubbys son and you accepted the package when you married him. Is he on meds for his ADHD? If not, maybe he should be.
2006-10-29 04:12:10 · answer #1 · answered by JC 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You haven't said where his father stands in all this ???.....First thing I'd do is take your girls away for the next weekend your step-son visits. Let his father see how tough it is. If his son wants to stay at his mom's, let him, and his dad can visit there. I really don't see why you get all the problems and stress. He's 17, not some little kid who's parents have just divorced. Sounds like your husband is still on a guilt trip for not being there full-time while his son was still a kid. But he's being a coward in letting you deal with it all. You have to make a stand now before things get worse. You have a right to be happy, and your daughters shouldn't have to tip-toe around the son
2006-10-29 04:12:57 · answer #2 · answered by Taylor29 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and Your Husband need to talk. I have a step son and my husband has 3 step children. we support each other where our children are concerned.. Your Husband should've set the rules down a long time ago. If that doesn't work then tell your step son don't come back to your house until he learns some respect for you, (tell dad that you are going to do this and he needs to back you or fix the problem before something major happens). If he doesn't like your house then he can go home to his pot smoking mommy.
2006-10-29 04:21:27 · answer #3 · answered by ReRe 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, where does Dad fit in to this? The boy could be feeling sorry for his Mom because of her weakness compared to the "family" life he had with you. Kids can feel frustrated if they feel they are not able to help a needy parent. Why isn't Dad talking with him about this and why was he allowed to go to live with Mom? Now he probably feels responsible for Mom and that Dad has given up on him. Pretty heavy stuff for a now 17 yrs old to have to deal with.
2006-10-29 04:20:05 · answer #4 · answered by nanad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step infants immediately hate their step mothers with the aid of fact they are in protection mode of their relatives. They see you as a hazard or somebody attempting to take their mom's place. the pictures painted of step mothers are many times no longer helpful ones. Take the step mom in Cinderella she became a terrible individual and because she fell interior the class of step mothers then human beings immediately think of of her whilst they think of of step mothers. even nonetheless no longer all step mothers behave in this way. The organic and organic mom feeling threatened will attempt to sabotage what could be a favorable courting between the step mom and the step infants. She does not desire all and sundry else elevating her infants. finding on the region this could be for countless reasons. to call some it may be with the aid of courting with the youngster's father and the step mom hence of infidelity on his area which wrecked his courting with the youngster's mom. She could seem at you as a house wrecker desperate to no longer show you how to thieve her infants from her too. in the event that they have been already aside once you met the youngster's father she could nonetheless sense threatened. the two way you would be able to desire to verify issues from her perspective, hear her grievances and attempt to construct a courting together with her besides with the aid of fact the youngsters. If the youngsters see the two certainly one of you getting alongside they'll replace the way they seem at you and spot you as a chum and not as a hazard. Their mom will facilitate and inspire it. as quickly as this has got here approximately you could slowly carry to her interest the way she treats her infants and inspire her to make some transformations. a great movie i desire to advise you spot is "Step mom" with Julia Roberts and Susan Serandon. it is an extraordinary movie and it addresses this very concern. i think of how she over comes those comparable hindrances you're dealing with provides you with the encouragement you desire. do no longer provide up. your loved ones is properly worth it. :)
2016-10-03 02:04:56 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try what I tried, I am in a very similar situation with my boyfriend's 12 year old son.(It is described in my questions)...I said to my BF "make him behave, or visit with him someplace else" The situation is still not great but it did improve a great deal
2006-10-29 05:43:04 · answer #6 · answered by eastcoastdebra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u make me glad i live alone
2006-10-29 04:37:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋