HELP. Sad, Confused, and in need of good advice.?

Question

So this will be a really long question, but its a very complicated situation. Any help would be appreciated.

I asked a boy to Homecoming last Friday(We'll call him "Ben") and he said yes. I didn't know that the next day, at a party, "Ben" hooked up with another girl (we'll call her "Alice"). Ben and Alice decided they would go to Homecoming together, although they both knew that I was supposed to go with "Ben". On Tuesday, "Ben" got his friend to tell me he was going with someone else (without specifying that it was "Alice"). I was heartbroken. People would go up to "Ben", even some of his own friends, and tell him what a jerk he was. "Ben" would say "Shut Up, I don't want to talk about it." Then, a day or two later, Alice decided she would go to Homecoming with another guy, and not "Ben." All this week, & at our football game, I saw "Ben" looking at me a lot. I didn't go to HC & I don't know how he feels about me. This is SO 3rd Grade, but what can I do to get "Ben" to like me?

Answer 1

Forget the zero and find yourself a hero!!!!

Answer 2

You don't need Ben to like you. Ben already showed his stuff. It seems you really like Ben, so make Ben have to win you over. He is already way behind the power curve with that little stunt, so it should take a lot of work on his part to even get the time of day from you.

Please think your way through what he did, and didn't do: 1. He invited you to the HC, and then changed his mind. 2. He didn't have the fortitude to tell you personally. 3. When he gets the same you got, all of a sudden he seems interested in you again.

You would probably do better with someone else. But if you are able to forgive Ben (and he really needs to EARN it) then good for you. He needs to realize how he hurt you, and understand he must never do that or anything like that to you again. Good luck, and God bless you.

Answer 3

You may or may not get Ben to like you, but handle yourself with class. Others are watching and you will win their (and maybe Ben's) admiration if you act with dignity.

This is a very hurtful situation for you. Anyone would feel hurt and confused as you do. But if you can, try to look at this as a learning experience. In the future, maybe wait for more clues before you ask someone. Maybe you did that this time and Ben is a coward. I am assuming that Ben knows he has acted like a jerk and is confused himself about how to act.

Just be kind to Ben and Alice. Take the high road. You'll be glad you did.

Answer 4

I would forgive and forget about him. Ben should have been faithful, should have told you himself that he wasn't going to homecoming with you, not used a middleman, and he got what he deserved when Alice dumped him. If you trust him again, he will probably break your heart again. I've been in a situation similar to this, and as many times as you forgive him and try to start over, he'll just put more and more lies on top of everything else. He might not, but with that behavior, I don't think that's likely. Forgive him for dumping you so it doesn't hang over your head, and go out with your friends. Find someone new, or don't. But if you try to get back together with Ben, be prepared to be heartbroken again.

Answer 5

Gosh, these people are so shallow. Trust me, you don't want to have anything to do with a person like "Ben." He is a coward and a back stabber. He doesn't keep his word. He didn't even have the decency to tell you himself that he was backing out of his promise to go with you. If you get involved with him, there will be nothing but heartache ahead because this is the way he operates.
If he wants you now, you need to be strong enough to ignore him because what he did was unforgiveable. Move on. Find a nice boy and don't look back. Let "Ben" be someone else's problem.

Answer 6

"Ben" already likes you! Otherwise he wouldn't have said "yes" to begin with. What you want to do is have him like you even more and show him that you still like him. A good way to do this is to show caring about his feeling which have just been hurt and which you can very much appreciate, having just been through the same experience. You now have something in common to share. "Ben" feels bad and hurt and he knows he was a jerk and he wants to apologize but he doesn't know how and is afraid that you don't like him anymore. Show him you care, ask how he is doing, feeling express sympathy for what he has gone through (hurt feelings, which suck!) and comiserate with him and that will give him the chance for him to express sympathy for your feelings and what you went through and to apologize to you (which will make him feel better) for hurting you, and then you can be understanding and forgiving. You can use this thing you now have in common and can share to grow closer by showing him how much you care for him (as a true friend) and he will see what a good person you are (by caring for him first).
And then you can go to the prom together and have a GREAT time, even better than if you hadn't gone through this difficult little growing (closer together) experience. Show him you care.
Good luck!

Answer 7

"Ben" got a taste of "what goes around comes around". Just sit back and enjoy. Don't try to get him to like you. If his friends saw what he did and told him he was a jerk, maybe you can hook up with one of them. How do you know "Ben" wouldn't dump you next time around for something better?

Answer 8

first off, he should be feeling like such an idiot and i bet he is. second, don't you worry i'm sure he DOES like you and now you will forever be engraved in his mind as the one he lost. i'm sure if he has any sense, he'll apologize. that's totally rude, what he did, but he got his just desserts. if not, then you are better off without someone so fickle. consider that he ditched you AND then didn't explain why himself. my first boyfriend was exactly like that but we were dating and he pulled this stunt! after we broke up, i was happy because i knew what a jerk he was. he asked me out again and always stared at me. he knew he lost and so will ben. course you get to decide if you want someone who'd do that to you! good luck!
=)

Answer 9

You poor thing!!!! That is so mean! What goes around comes around. He blew you off and he got blown off. That is so sad that you couldn't go to your homecoming, something you would've remembered for the rest of your life because of him. So let me ask you, why in the world would you want him to like you? Find someone better. If he did it once, he might do it again.

Answer 10

You dont need to get ben to like you,
Infact forget him unless ofcourse you like being the spare wheel and taken out of the boot when there is no alternative. Sorry Gal.I know this...

Answer 11

some good advice; FORGET BEN, HE EVIDENTLY FORGOT YOU... when he turned around and asked another girl and did not have the guts to tell you himself. Had to have a friend do his dirty work huh>/
seriously he would turn around and do this over and over to you. find a better boy to date or think about. He's the loser not you. remember as you told us, he got dumped himself and serves him right.