For the past 4 years i have been living with a man who i have a child with. During these years i have suffered the endless consiquences of his actions i have been yelled at, hit, kicked and cheated on and abused in every way.
My family has no idea and happen to own the home we share together. My family love him dearly and i cannot seem to shake the typical "its all her fault" frase. All mylife i have been abused in (simular fashion) to whats occuring now and finally things are looking good with my parents however its because of a false deception i have once again created. I feel trapped and dont know what to do. I have no money as my day is spent cooking, cleaning and taking care of my little one. His Family hates me and i have no support there??? What should i do and where do i get help to do it. I cant keep going on like this, i want to protect me and my child from him, now and forever PLEASE help??
2006-10-29 03:19:47 · 13 answers · asked by mumzie04 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You should have spoke up this first time he abused you to your family... but it's to late for that... start telling your family the things he has been doing... I would want to change there attitude about... show them he ain't that great after all... and sounds that some of the things he does is illegal, kicking and hitting doesn't fly in my book... call the cops... i know it's hard to stand up for yourself especially when you have no family support... but you are an adult and you need to me strong... to protect yourself and your child... do you still love him?? alot of women won't do anything for fear of having to make it alone... you coul dpack up and got to a shelter... don't do this than turn around and come back home... I was I knew more... it's sad to here how you are having to live...what ever you decide... trust yourself... and stick with what ever decision you made... good luck
2006-10-29 03:37:16 · answer #1 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your family is just as bad as his! If your child is an infant, than you owe it to your child's future to get away from this guy and both families! It will only get worse. If your child grows big enough to observe this abuse, chances are good that he/she will feel the same in there marriage!
If you go to your relatives for help that was suggested in an earlier post, (you said your family loved the guy), are they going to confront your family about this? If they do, it might not turn out good!
I believe it was nated that you should go to a local womens shelter! They will keep your child and you safe for time but keep in mind that shelters are supported in some way and need to keep a limit on how long you can stay unless you have good evidence!
I watched how a women on a television show in your apparent situation had kept a record of how she was being treated by her husband with the time and day of the week witch is good evidence and can be used in court to show how you were treated!
Use a calender or tablet, keep it clean and readable or you may not be able to use! Besides the Time and Day try to write a few words as to what he did! Keep it where NO one else can find it not even your parents!
Unfortunately, inorder to show a history of violence, you need to have many entries, which will take time!
Not even a video of the beatings could help her that was recorded by her son.
By itself, the video could only get an assault charge which would have put him in jail for only a year, made him madder and only made things worse!
Search on the Internet and find a lawyer or legal assistant in your state that will give you advise on your situation. If he/she is a lawyer/assistant that works in your state he will no the laws there!
By law a Doctor has to report any domestic violence, but it would'nt hurt to act like you're helping some one else when you talk to a lawyer!
Keep in mind, the type of companions we choose will depend on what we think is normal and attractive.
You need to do some soul searching to findout what characteristics you found attractive or normal about him that led to your situation!
Then for your babys sake ignore your feeling and choose the guy that meets the new characteristics!
Good luck!
2006-10-29 04:33:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go TO YOUR FAMILY, if they won't help there are endless people in this world that will help. All you have to do is seek them out, like you are doing now...or try and get him into some counseling...this is not your fault. Call the cops on him, have him picked up the very next time he does this to you...your baby will be next....get a restraining order on him..I was married to an alcoholic wife beater for 7 years, I have 3 kids with him....I have scars, false teeth b/c of the years of abuse...GET OUT. Look in your local phone book for women shelters, go to the police, surround yourself with people that love you and can help you. It's hard, but think of your baby and what the baby sees when he does this, children learn by what they are shown.....don't cover for him, by "creating" an it's all just cheery here at home. If your family won't help there are others that will.
2006-10-29 03:37:27 · answer #3 · answered by ReRe 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to have a serious talk with your parents and put everything that he does to you out in the open, and have them help you get him out of the house. If they aren't willing to help you and their grandchild they aren't worth calling family. Do you have any close friends or other family members you can count on? If so give them a call. Remember, it's NOT your fault and don't ever let anyone make you feel otherwise. If a man hits a woman, he isn't a real man. Keep your chin up. You can make it on your own, and you and your child will be much happier in the long run.
Best of luck.
2006-10-29 03:34:07 · answer #4 · answered by Tawney 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have been EXACTLY where you are now. Is there an aunt or cousion or grandparent that you can move in with? Someone that will believe you? Call the cops and get an order of portection for you and the child. Go to a woman's shelter. You will have to start at the bottom but the only place to go from there is up. If you stay you know that you may end up dead-by his hand or yours. Do it for you and the child-both of you deserve better and deserve a fresh start.
2006-10-29 03:24:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
confident, I had that very same worry. I had nightmares while i replaced into pregnant approximately my boyfriend shaking our son because of the fact he does no longer supply up crying. It replaced into undesirable! for sure, he's an incredible father and could never shake our son. i replaced into no longer waiting to depart him on my own with him till he replaced into approximately 2 months or maybe then it replaced into in easy terms to run to the keep or some thing, yet he's very virtually 6 months now and that i could have faith Daddy with him for somewhat. in simple terms make specific once you're around, you do no longer do each thing. I made that mistake, and up till recently, there have been issues that my boyfriend had no concept the thank you to do. it relatively is easy to in easy terms defend issues your self, yet make specific daddy gets a huge gamble to overview all of it, too. that way, you could sense constructive understanding maximum something you're able to do, he can do additionally.
2016-10-20 23:10:52 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would strongly urge you to seek a safety shelter somewhere and get the support you need. They will help you find housing, food, jobs, babysitting. But don't live like this anymore. You have the choice to change the environment you live in and the one you are raising your child in. I takes more courage to take care of yourself. Move on and quickly.
2006-10-29 03:24:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's sad that there are guys like this out there and it's even sadder that your family won't help you! Find a shelter that will take you in and get away from this creep! Best of luck
2006-10-29 03:36:02 · answer #8 · answered by MC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Something Specially
For You
I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all.
By: Kenny P. aka-Cobra
2006-10-29 03:23:09 · answer #9 · answered by Cobra 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
u should dump his a ss and move to arkansas, and call me as u get here i'm looking for a good woman, who,s not into bullshi t, and has kids as i have an 11 yr old son myself!!
2006-10-29 04:08:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋