How does one handle being in a relationship with an adult with Asperger's Sydrome without, feeling defeated?

Question

I am very much in love, but feel as though this relationship is doomed.

Answer 1

As long a you realize there are certain limitations in this relationship you'll be fine. Don't give in to defeatist ideas already. Of course love doesn't always conquer all, but it goes a long way! People with Aspergers syndrome as you probably know have severe anxiety among many other problems. Medication works but doesn't solve everything. Maybe you could find some support group with others who share your problem. Your relationship with this person won't be easy, but what relationship is? You fell in love for a reason so try to keep that in mind. Understanding this illness is key and just because someone has a mental illness doesn't mean they are unloveable or incapable of loving. You'll have difficult times but try not to take things too personally and remember that it's the illness NOT the person inside that is difficult, so educate yourself as much as possible so you know what to expect. I wish you much luck and happiness. Take a chance!

Answer 2

Yep, i also agree with above posters; people with asperger's really do feel love on the inside, I'm sure of it. But they just don't know appropriate ways to show it, or even feel the need to show it most times, but they feel it. And it's these feelings, both good and often bad that they have due to anxiety, that often make them act out in anger.

Loved ones understandably take it personally, but to the asperger sufferer, they're simply reacting to an overload of information they have no understanding of how to deal with.

Take it one day at a time, explain everything calmly, and give him plenty of time to absorb what's been said.

My boy rarely ever tells me he loves me, yet he only ever asks me,and no one else in the family, repetitive questions about an imaginary kitten and i take this precious time as his way of connecting with me the best way he knows how. I bet your partner has his special way too, and when you find it, know that he's doing the best he can, with what he's humanly capable of.

All the best, hope this helps.

Answer 3

I agree with the first poster. Remember, that a pretty significant part of Asperger's is a lack of empathy. You may find that this person hurts your feelings from time to time, but it will most likely be completely unintentional. Be prepared to explain situations logically to him (?), which may be difficult when you are having an emotional response to something.

Answer 4

The poster above has a great answer. Don't give up yet! You can make this person's life better.