There is this guy that I really like and I'm wondering if he might ask me out. I really hope so! But, anyways, my mom says "No dating until you're 16" and I'm not one to go behind my mom's back and do it anyways. How can I explain to my mom that I am old enough and mature enough to have a boyfriend? I don't want to get in trouble for having one behind her back but I just have this part of me that's suddenly missing..?
2006-10-29 02:01:41 · 18 answers · asked by Fiona 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Okay,so I know the "Part of me is missing" is a teeny bit overdramatic, well maybe a lot.. But sometimes, mom's and dad's affectin isn't enough. I suppose you guys are right that I should wait..but..My mom can just be so "No you have to do it THIS WAY!" Even if she is a super-mom, sometimes I just feel like an alien compared to her, (Of course,maybe being born in completely different time periods with different family regulations had something to do with it?)
2006-10-29 02:25:54 · update #1
Look honey... you're 13 years old. Please trust a middle aged experienced man... you're not missing a thing. Just go out with friends and enjoy being a kid while you can. In a few years you will have some guy always getting jealous about every guy you talk to and asking where you going, what you doing, who are you going with, when you gonna be back, and why do you have to go...
Pretty soon you will be going out with guys and getting your fill of adult oriented fun. Just take it easy. damn...
I'm just curious.... what does "dating" mean to you? Do your mom and you share the same definition? Ask her what you can and cannot do. Maybe there is some compromise that can be reached.
By the way... I dont care that you won't choose me as best answer... but I cant just sit here and let a 13 year old girl ruin something that should be so special. Girls today are in too much of a hurry to get things NOW NOW NOW. Hey, as a guy... I love you IN A HURRY to get busy girls, but as a dad and leader of girls... I have to tell you ... WAIT JUST A LITTLE LONGER. You are worth it.
2006-10-29 02:06:38 · answer #1 · answered by Roger S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All because of the environment, the amount of ESTROGEN in all the plastics, freezer wrapped food packaging, canned food lining, soda and juice bottles...
It is documented that maturity is occuring about three to four years earlier now, than ever before. Those hormones are what is driving this urge to meet members of the opposite gender!
So, you have 5 more years to be emancipated unless she is able to allow you to go out on your own at 16... She obviously is a great parent, but, you need to have some more education about those urges, and both of you should be more open, and should also talk to professionals about these issues, so that you both can be calm about the options!
Now, lets try to get you both on the 'same page' . Your mom hears the word 'dating' and sees her little innocent girl getting in the family way!
You want to be near others your age, of the opposite sex, and want some experiences in healthy and fun activities with the company of a nice boy.
You two need to figure out what the term 'dating' really means, and you need to find some boundries as to what WILL be permitted and what WON'T be perimitted! Also, it is probably to your benefit to acknowledge that as long as you live under her roof, you need to live with her rules.
Going behind her back won't help your cause, when she discovers it, NOT 'IF' but, WHEN! Sure, some little birdie will tell her!!! A jealous school mate? Who knows?
At this point, all that will probably take a professional councelor, who your Mom can respect, and whom you can understand.
Just do not betray her trust, as that is the basis of your relationship. as mother and daughter!
2006-10-29 10:17:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something missing you say? Thats not something you can fill with a boy friend. You can only be complete as a person by fixing yourself. A boy friend can't complete you...only you can.
I also believe that 13 is far too young.
Worry more about how you'd explain to mom how you got pregnant when you didn't have a boy friend... that will certainly build the trust between you and mom. Yeah you say, it won't happen but first the secret bf and then the secret sex... but the baby wouldn't be a secret for long...
Prioritize girl!
2006-10-29 10:07:32 · answer #3 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wel this is it in a nut shell U love your Mom i can see this and u are only 13 and so u live under her roof and eat her food and she more likely pays the bills.I know u have heard this before be slow down u are A kidd for a small time in life so be a kidd for the next 3 years and have fun.
2006-10-29 10:17:52 · answer #4 · answered by gxsilver1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A part of you is missing? Come on, that's overdramatic. There's so much more to life then dating. She wants you to focus on those things for a while, and when she's convinced that you know how to manage your time, she'll be more lenient.
2006-10-29 10:20:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a reason why your mother has put this rule out there. Because at 13, one thinks they are mature or old enough for bf's but know absolutely nothing. Every 13 yr old say they are "wiser beyond their yrs". The reality of it is that you dont know anything. But you wont realize that until your older. *dilemma*
2006-10-29 10:09:26 · answer #6 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her u are mature enough to have a boyfriend, she obviously just cares a lot about u, just tell her it means alot and if she still says no, tell her ull never forgive her if she doesnt allow u, then if she still says no, then u got no other choice but to do behind her back or do as she says, and for the record, any girl deserves to have the choice of whether or not they have a bf, no matter the age
2006-10-29 10:06:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but I agree with your Mom.At 13 you should be having fun with your friends...not dating. You have plenty of time to have boys in your life. Go out in a group of guys and girls to the movies or to the mall, maybe she will let you do that. Trust me, you don't need to have boy troubles yet.
2006-10-29 10:07:11 · answer #8 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try going to movies, shopping, etc with a group of friends. have this boy come with the group. then just hang back, and spend some time together. that way you get what you want, and she gets what she wants.
also you could try telling her this, and explain how important it is to you. remind her that she was a girl like this once too. that's what i did, and now I'm going to chaperoned parties with my guy.
we're only thirteen.
2006-10-29 10:15:09 · answer #9 · answered by Krissie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect your mom, she has her reasons! You shouldn't even be thinking about dating until you're 16. Enjoy the freedom of being single!
2006-10-29 10:05:44 · answer #10 · answered by Becca M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋