2006-10-29 01:41:59 · 9 answers · asked by chrissy 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
george bush and his mate were walkin along a road and he his mate seen a sheep stuck in the fence raced up pulled his dacs down and went for it with the sheep when finished he pulled his pants up said to bush ok youre turn so bush pulled his pants down and stuck his head in the fence
2006-10-29 01:46:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
On one of his first nights in the White House, Dubya is awakened by the ghost of George Washington. Bush is frightened, but asks: "George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Washington advises him: "Be honest above all else and set an honorable example, just as I did." This makes Bush uncomfortable, but he manages to get back to sleep.
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moves through the dark bedroom. "Tom," Dubya asks, "what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Jefferson replies, "Throw away your prepared remarks and speak eloquently and extemporaneously from your heart," Jefferson advises.
Bush isn't sleeping well at all the next night, and sees another figure moving in the shadows. It's Abraham Lincoln's ghost and Dubya thinks finally, a Republican, I'll get some advice that I can use. "Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Bush asks hopefully. Abe answers: "Go see a play."
2006-10-29 09:44:22 · answer #2 · answered by Electric 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
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joke #2
"In his speech President Bush said we need to rebuild Iraq, provide the people with jobs, and give them hope. If it works there maybe we'll try it in New Orleans." --Jay Leno
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joke #3
"President Bush is the fittest president in history. They said it's because he spends a lot of time exercising. See a lot of our previous presidents wasted that time reading." --Jay Leno
2006-10-29 10:21:48 · answer #3 · answered by redstorm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
George W. Bush was asked if he knew what Roe vs. Wade was about, and he answered that he thought it was the decision George Washington had to make when he decided to cross the Delaware
2006-10-29 09:46:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: "Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side."
Bush interrupted, "Well, that's normal, isn't it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?"
The doctor replied, "That's true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn't anything right, while on the right side there isn't anything left."
2006-10-29 09:58:02 · answer #5 · answered by ® Espresso ® 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this happened in reality in school
my friend is running for president and she put up a poster which said vote for me as student council president, but she spelled council wrong. I took it down and was going to give it to her the following day but my other friend saw it and said, i am not voting for a stupid president who spelled council wrong and i said what are you talking about? we voted for George Bush, didn't we? he started to laugh
2006-10-29 09:45:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
bill clinton:i'm gonna make people happy i'm gonna throw pennys off the empire state building
john kerry:i'm gonna make more people happy i'm gonna throw
dollar bills off the empire state building
bill clinton:i'm gonna make the whole world happy i'm gonna throw bush off the empire state building
joke number 2
the planes about to crash everbody grab there parrachutes
bush: see ya later suckers
mom of the girl:well sweetie looks like your gonna have to die
little girl: it's ok moomy bush got my back pack.
2006-10-29 09:44:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
isnt he himself a joke enough?
2006-10-29 10:58:03 · answer #8 · answered by Obilee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is quite HANDSOME & ATTRACTIVE...................
2006-10-29 09:45:28 · answer #9 · answered by pushp_007 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋