15 and made a big mistake?

Question

ok well im 15 and have been having unprotected sex for a long time and iv had all the lectures the thing is now im pregnant the father is 28 and wants nothing to do with the baby i dont want to get him into any trouble but i dont know who i should tell or what i should do please help

Answer 1

There are bigger legal issues at stake, the largest being financial support for the child, followed closely by statutory rape.

even if you decline, you family can take him into court (and why is a man nearly twice your age having sex with you?)

Answer 2

You need to tell someone about your situation no matter what you decide to do, for you health, which is so important right now. If you are scared to talk to your parents right now, than go to a centre that deals in teenage pregnancy for support. As for this 28 year old, well I would just like to know why he is hanging out with 15 year old girls? Don't worry if he should get in trouble or not, he's the adult and should have known better. I would be so insulted if the father of my child wanted nothing to do with the baby. I'm sorry but that means that he does not care for you one way or another. As far as I'm concerned this creep needs to be put behind bars. And that's the reason that he doesn't want you to tell anyone because he knows that's where he will be going. So is it really fair that you are robbed of your teenage years while he walks away scott free and could possibly do this to somebody else, and who's to say that you are the first? Stand up for yourself, in your heart of hearts you know what you have to do and hopefully you will do what's right for you. You have to be strong and take control of the situation, don't let yourself be the victim any longer.

Answer 3

This is not a mistake if you knew the risks you were taking but took them anyway.

The father wants nothing to do with it because he can go to jail for staturory rape (sex with a minor); more than likely.

You have to tell your parents, because no matter how much they are going to blow up at you, you need them right now.

You have some decisions to make, the first is what you are going to do with the pregnancy. You can terminate the pregnancy, which is not something everyone approves of; but it is still an option.
You can also keep the pregnancy and put the baby up for adoption, they are such things as open adoption where you can send letters, card, presents, and find out what is happening with your child (if you want to know); otherwise you can keep it closed and not know.

The next thing you can do is keep the baby, and if you choose this option then there is a whole heap of other decisions you have to make. Like how are you going to support the pair of you, are you going to finish school, does you school have a child care facility or ways of helping support student parents, how are you going to raise the child, how are you going to buy all the things a baby needs.

It seems scarey, but that is why you need to talk to your parents. Understand they are going to go through a range of emotions, and understand why they are. You need to show them how mature you can be, because you have a lot of mature decisions to make.

Make an appointment with a GP, and ask your parents to come with you. This will give you the opportunity to discuss your options, and which are valid for your needs. Your parents are entitled to a say in this decision, because they are going to have to help you out quite a bit. I am not saying they are entitiled to make the decision, but they do get a say.

This appointment will be a good chance to really start to sort out what it is you feel you need to do, and how to go about it. The GP may refer you to someone who may be able to help more.

With my first pregnancy, which was unplanned, my partner and I looked at all of our options before we made our decision. There was a group called "Children by Choice" and they had the most information about every avenue, and councellors there trained to help you figure everything out. They were free, and somewhere I would recommend to everyone.

I am sure that everything will work out, but no matter what you decide to do, it is going to be hard...I wish you the best

Answer 4

Tell your parents first off and most likely they will be getting your 28 year old boyfriend into trouble. See how men are they like as long as you are doing what they want but when a baby comes along they want nothing to do with it. Now i am not saying all men are like that or he might have been thinking oh my god i am going to get in trouble for having sex with a minor and took off.

You do know you have options? If you are not ready to be a mom and all that comes with it there is always abortion or if you wanna do this (But i couldn't) carry the baby for 9 months then give it up.

Or if you think you are ready then have your baby. Just know that you are still a kid yourself and yes you should have known to use birth control but there are ways out of it if you are not wanting this to be. You have your schooling and whole life ahead of you so do what you think is best for you.

All you can do is tell your parents and then go from there. They will have to help you in whatever you choose.

Good luck

Answer 5

First of all, I understand you have had lectures, but really what in the world is a 15 year old doing with a 28 year old in the first place? or the other way around? Secondly, why are you considering his feelings when he's not considering the baby? Does your parents know that you are dateing a 28 year old? You need to tell your parents first off, they are going to find out sooner or later any ways. Than I think you need to see a doctor for your pregnancy, you need proper medical attention or you could put not only yourself, but the babies life in danger. Furthermore, You need to report it, I know you consented to having sex with him, but that is statutory rape and needs to be reported. No 28 year old man should be having sex with a 15 year old. Or if you don't want to do it, you know your parents will, and they can press charges on him without your consent. So one way or another he'll get into trouble. Now you have three choices to make. (1)You can keep this baby, in which case you'll probably have to drop out of school, and take care of it, unless you have family willing to do it for you, (2) You can have an abortion, or (3) You can give this baby up for adoption and give your child a good family that is willing and able to give this child a good and stable family relationship. Let the child have a good life, instead of one that may not be as good. This is your decision to make and only yours, but if you choose to keep the baby, make sure you get child support from the father. Even if he wants nothing to do with the baby, he still needs to support it. You may have to go to court in order to get a child support order for him to pay. So this is all your decission to make. But deffinately talk to your parents. They may be angry for a little while, but in the long run, they care about you and will help you do the right thing. OK. Please don't be scared, maybe talk to your mom first, and see if she can help you tell your dad. In the end it will all work out. Maybe they'll help you raise the baby if you want to keep it, I don't know. Good Luck in whatever you decide to do, I know it's hard. I was pregnant at 20 for the first time, I am now 37 and a single mom of 5 boys ages 16,14,11,9, and 2. It is tough raising a child on your own, i'm not going to lie to you, it's tough weather you have 1,2 or more. I have raised all my kids on my own from the start, and it's tough but we manage.

Answer 6

Its not a mistake if you take responsibility for what you have done. Yes 15 is very young to have a baby but its not impossible. If you get good support from your friends and family.You already made the decision to have the baby the minute you had unprotected sex. It can be the best time in your life though I know that it will be the toughest thing you have ever experienced by far. Good Luck and I hope it all works out. Do me one favor and nail that guy so you can get child support.

Answer 7

You should get the father in trouble. A 28 year old man has no right having sexual relations with a 15 year old little girl. He's a child molester and should be in prison. Who's to say he's not having sex with girls even younger than you. He's nothing but a disgusting pig.

Answer 8

#1 - what do you want to do with this baby? Raising it will be hard, but abortion is a hard thing to deal with as well. Have you thought about adoption? Many couples want a baby, you can interview them and choose who will be the parents. Think about it.

#2 - You need to tell your guardian(s). It will likely suck - if you want to get a school counselor to help, you can talk to them, they can help you talk to your parents. I know people are suspicious of them sometimes, I guess I wouldn't tell them anythign you dont' want your parents to know.

#3 - The man you were with may have been "nice" or whatever, but he should know better than to mess around with a 15 year old. He isn't much a man if he won't help with the baby. I don't know if I would report him for this or just stay away from him, but definitely don't deal with him anymore one way or the other. He might try to convince you to do things you dont' want to, again.

#4 - Find a therapist - this is going to be hard no matter what you do. Find a professional or, at the very least, a friend who can listen. Try not to dump on a friend, but do find someone who can be there for you.

#5 - From now on don't have sex with anyone who won't use protection - you might be lucky if a baby is your only repercussion from unprotected sex - lots of good people can help you with this - but you can't adopt away STDs and AIDS. There are a lot of dishonest people in the world, they may tell you they are clean, but I doubt 28 year old men who sleep with teenagers are. I hate to sound mean, but I doubt this is the first time he has made bad decisions about sleeping with people. I am not saying you are a bad person, but you don't need this to deal with and he is old enough to know better than to get involved with someone as young as you and to know that you need to use protection no matter who you are with if you don't want kids or diseases. Sorry to sound judgemental - I just think this guy is probably a dirtbag and am happy for you not to have to deal with him anymore.

Answer 9

Too late , he is in trouble and you will be further in trouble if you lie about this situation. He will not stand by you , help you , keep a roof over your head , feed you , etc. Why would you want to protect him . He took advantage of you and left you with all the problems. Talk to your parents , call the police and then decide if you should keep the baby or not. He knew what he was doing , got all the benefits and used you. He is pond scum and probally cannot get a girl older than you . Your family will be with you your whole life , he will be gone tomorrow , so who are you going to trust to take care of you ? Do not lie !!!!

Answer 10

Your life is not over, dear.
You need to talk to someone, someone older and someone possibly even trained in counselling.
Your parents would be the best first choice.
Or your high school counselor.
Your favorite teacher at school.
A preacher at a local church.
You shouldn't try to work this out on your own.

There will be a LOT of pressure on you to tell the father's name.
If you do, in most states in the U.S. he could be in really big trouble. But, in my opinion (and this is ONLY my opinion) you probably should tell.

I feel so badly for you that the father simply wants out. To be honest, I don't think very highly of this man.

Answer 11

Yeah so you had a chance to change..it everyone gave you lectures and everything else...well its too late now...Your just going to have to step up to the plate..tell your parents if you cant do that leave them a note before school. They are going to be mad..but theyll get over it in proably a month or so...it takes a little while specially when your young...theyll be young grandparents...i made my mom a grandparent at 34 and she wasnt very happy about that...but they do get over it...if i was you id talk to the father he is 28 and if he wants nothing to do with the baby he can at least support it...and if he dont want to id threating to turn him in...cause thats not right to leave you by yourself with a baby..and hes old enough to deal with it...goodluck to you sweetie:) and congratulations