I really like a coworker of mine. Problem is last night we were at the bar having a few drinks when she told me that she had a secret to tell me. Unfortunetly for me the secret was not exactly what I wanted to hear. She told me that she is seeing another guy from work, however she hasn't told anyone else besides her mom and brother about this guy. Then she continues to tell me how I keep her sane at the work place and that I'm the only one that understands her. Then she tells me that she loves me and gives me a hug. I've never told her that I like her and until last night thought that she liked me too but now i'm pretty sure she is only looking for a friend. What should I do?
2006-10-29 01:00:56 · 22 answers · asked by jigga 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'd say - Why haven't you told anyone about this guy you're dating? So you mean, if I asked you out, you'd want that to be a secret as well?
Judge it by how she answers and you'll have your answer if you are friend or possible lover.
2006-10-29 01:08:46 · answer #1 · answered by rrmorris45 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The very best love relationships begin just this way.
You are a friend and confidant, you comfort, and are trusted, and you never betray that trust. As you continue, the realization that you are the most 'tuned in' person and actually the better choice, hits one, or both of you.
The other 'love' might just be a fickle moment, and she will discover things that don't work well. Or, not. Anyway, there are thousands of fish in the sea, so, if you can be patient, you can have the one that suits your personality, life choices, the best!
I have been there and done that, and the ones that simply remained friends were just as great as the ones that became lovers!
When it changes from friendship to love, there are different rules, and we usually draw apart in some reserve of our personal identity. That sure makes for a strange situation... and, it often is too stressed to last.
And, don't mistake lust for love... in yourself or others... be patient, all will come to you that is the best.
2006-10-29 01:11:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Its better to have her as a friend than to do not have her at all.....don't you think so? I think sometimes friendship is more good enough than relationship at least you will be open with one another and help her in times of need.Just be there for her,in the right time you will find the courage to tell her and maybe you will both realize that the best foundation for relationship is friendship,Just stay around,if you were really meant for each other it will but for now don't be a hindrance to her happiness.True love is not selfish.
2006-10-29 01:07:20 · answer #3 · answered by kimy 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well,i know that when something like that happens and you find out your crush is just interested in being friends,it can get pretty awkward.Considering that she doesnt know yet that you like her,is she a good enough friend to you to maybe want to keep it normal between you if so dont tell her you like her because that feeling will pass if you feel she is more of a friend then a p[ossible romance.If you like her more then anything and would be fine accepting the good OR the bad then go for it!maybe she doesnt know that you like her...i mean trust me,im a girl and i know that even if you have feelings for a guy,but theyre your friend to,a girl normally wouldnt want to ruin that by telling you HER feelings...so maybe your not the only one who has feelings.But if you feeling in your heart that she just wants to be friends,i suggest jut sitting back and letting things happen,dont go looking for love because it will find you.
2006-10-29 01:09:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
be her friend, the best way to start any relationship is to start off as friends. if you didn't tell her last night that your feelings for her were strong, then you missed a good opportunity to do so.the
next time you are out socially and the situation is ripe, tell her that you'd like to be more than her friend. don't push her away, be her friend, you never know if the other situation will resolve and then there you are with your friend and now perhaps an intimate friend.
2006-10-29 01:18:58 · answer #5 · answered by universalist49 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is a hard situation to be in, continue to be a friend to her. dont let your other feeling interfer with that. then when the time is right. because most likely this other relationship she has wont work out. then make your move, but when something happens you have to give her time to heal from that first. but be there for her in her time of need, maybe it will work out for you and in the end if it dosent then you that means you are destin to meet someone else....good luck
2006-10-29 01:06:36 · answer #6 · answered by bshelby2121 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Now you know why they call them crushes. Seems to me like shes just a really good friend, but you want more. Many of us have been in this position before. You just have to try to forget about the feelings you have for her, and find someone else.
2006-10-29 01:06:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell her exactly how you feel. Clear the air completely. You never know, she could've said that because she does like you, but gets the vibe from you that you're only interested as a friend. (believe me, I've been that girl before).
Tell her how you feel. Give her YOU as an option.
2006-10-29 01:04:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think you should continue being friends with her unless you cant handle it. she only thinks of you as a friend and that probably wont change. I have a lot of male friends that I am close to and hug and tell them i love them but they know we are just good friends and there is nothing wrong with that good luck
2006-10-29 01:07:50 · answer #9 · answered by bj 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Not much you can do, pal......she wants a 'friend' to confide in. If I were you, I would back off and just be business as usual at work because you are setting yourself up for continued heartbreak. Move on and leave her alone......she is not into you.......period.
2006-10-29 01:08:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋