My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and we now live together. He has always been very open sexually and has never been ashamed about masturbation and porn. It has never really bothered me until recently. I know it is normal for guys to watch porn. But he has so many dvds, and he just leaves them out so when i come home i know what he was doing. We have great sex too, but even on the days when we have sex once or twice, i leave to go to work and come home and see that he has masturbated to a porn. Is it weird that I found that he recently went to the store and spent $60 bucks on 4 new dvds? Am i not giving him what he needs? does he watch too much porno? or is this all completely normal. Do all men who live with their girlfriends have the urge to masturbate to hard core porn?
2006-10-29 00:28:38 · 18 answers · asked by kristinng21 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to talk to him about whether or not you are satisfying his sexual desires. Sex isn't a 'need', nobody dies from lack of sex.
Porn isn't a bad thing, but people can become too dependent on it and it can cause problems in relationships. Perhaps he just has a very high sex drive and enjoys sex more frequently than you are able to have it with him.
Communicate...that's the only way for you to discover if this is a non-issue, or some kind of dependency/addiction for him that may need counseling.
2006-10-29 00:33:04 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, your boyfriend is possibly a sex addict. It sounds like you are becoming concerned about the amount of sex he needs. Often, the partner of a sex addict will begin to feel like she is not good enough, pretty enough, desireable enough, simply not enough. When you are dealing with an addiction, it is important to remember that it is not about you, it is about the addiction. The effects of addiction on a partner become so consuming that you begin to doubt your own sanity. Many addicts are wonderful people in every other way, they are suffering from a dis-ease. You will most likely need some help in sorting out the feelings you are having. Your question itself indicates that you are questioning your reality. His use of porn is extreme and deep inside you already know that. Now comes the hard part, separating his addiction from who you are, sex addiction can be devastating to the partners self esteem. The demoralizing aspect of dealing with it happens gradually until you begin to wonder if there is something wrong with you. Go to COSA.org for information if your life has been affected by another's sex addiciton. There you will find hope, understanding and much information. You will be tempted to control his use of porn and you may find that your attempts are ineffective and they are. You did not cause it, you can not control it and you can not cure it. Yet there is hope and you will find it. I think it is bothering you now because you can see how extreme it has become. Remember there is nothing wrong with you, a sex addict can be with the most beautiful woman in the world and still have to act out in his addiction. I wish you luck on your journey. take good care of yourself during this time, you will need strength to get through this.
2006-10-29 15:00:04 · answer #2 · answered by alwaysdd603 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn is okay as long as it does not become an obsession. And I honestly think your boyfriend has become obsessed with it. Dare him to go without it for just one week and see what happens, If it doesn't influence his ability in bed, then I suppose you must let him be. But if it does, I don't think it's still okay. Then you should ask him to make a choice between you and the porn. Good luck.
2006-10-29 07:38:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at it this way -- at least he's not out having sex with other females. My boyfriend watches porn and it doesn't bother me because heck, what heterosexual man doesn't like porn? And it's not like he's out there cheating on me. I'd rather him masturbate off of porn than to get sex from someone else.
2006-10-29 08:14:17 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Ms. Heart♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't panic - the boy loves porn.
You should be releived that he would rather bust a nut over a plastic disc than over some random bimbo. Instead you snagged a man who is open, honest, confident and can take care of himself.
And even if you do do it twice a day, there is nothing wrong with him wanting more - who knows he may just learn a trick or two.
2006-10-29 07:50:19 · answer #5 · answered by shauny2807 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not weird sweetie .......it could be a problem........ yes sure lots of man watch porn.... but the way your story goes ..... I would hit the road and run as far as I can......... sometimes lust is disguised as love ........ and in your boyfriend case he is enjoying you and himself .... and himself without you ..... " if that you is your perception of love " then ...OK.
So the answer to your question : - it's not weird.... it's a big problem and this is not normal .......behaviour.
Think hard .... value yourself .... you deserve more than this.
2006-10-29 07:45:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not all but even some married might do this also. i bet that he leaves them out hoping that you would join him in a little masturbation fun. there is nothing more erotic then being with a female while she pleasures herself. until a women can please herself she will never know what she really wants her man to do. and i think he just has mare balls then most men.
2006-10-29 08:22:09 · answer #7 · answered by Bill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The pornography industry generates $12 billion dollars in annual revenue – larger than the combined annual revenues of ABC, NBC, and CBS.
2006-10-29 07:55:48 · answer #8 · answered by Holden 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing wrong with most of what you just said other then he fact that he makes you feel unappreciated. You said YOU go to work does he not work? You tow need to talk and set boundaries. to leave this out and not care about how you feel is wrong. why do you think he leaves then out?
2006-10-29 07:39:56 · answer #9 · answered by bluedanube69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hummm I would say this is normal...but I think he is obsessive about sex. I would say his behavior is not normal.
Does he work or have any ambitions? Seems like sex is very high on his list (always on his mind). You may need to evaluate your relationship with him. Do you have plans?
2006-10-29 07:37:31 · answer #10 · answered by John 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋