i am 24 and my bf is 36, actually were planning to get married. But he always get jealous, the fact that i'm not doing anything wrong!!! when i ask him why does he got jealous, he will simply say because i love you so much and i don't wanna loose you!!! what do you think is the best that i can do to let him know that he has nothing to worry, avoid being insecure and to stop being jealous?!
i already try to discuss this to him but still nothing happened...
2006-10-28 23:55:00 · 25 answers · asked by she 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Him being jealous is not necessarily a bad thing.. Maybe you must make an effort to show him that you really loves only him. Sometimes even thank him for caring so much, after a jealous remark. Rather that to tell him that he is to jealous. He will soon realize it is totally unnecessary to act so jealous. it will start to fade away as he would start to realize that you appreciate him very much. Good luck!!!
2006-10-29 00:23:55 · answer #1 · answered by wessel c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, He needs counseling. He has some issues that he has not worked out in his past. Do not marry someone like that because it only escalates in intensity. He might in the future become violent when he thinks he owns you. This is a big red warning flag for you right now. Take this advice seriously, because my daughter had a boyfriend that did the same things and it got worse. Anybody who has control issues needs help. Do not even think about marrying him until you get the help you need. Try seeing if he will go to a marriage counselor at a local church. They offer pre marriage advice and help before a couple weds. Be really careful sweetie, he may not be the one for you.
2006-10-29 07:07:06 · answer #2 · answered by mark_jw2008 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Insecurity usually derives from a previous event in his life in which he was taken advantage off or even hurt. There's truly no quick fix to something like this and only time, reassuring him that there's nothing to worry about, and most importantly acknowledging the fact that he feels this way can slowly make things better. Unless you've given him a reason to mistrust you...its probably not you dearheart. Just keep showing him you love him and want to be with him and he'll come around. Although it's difficult, try to not pressure him about it. =P Good luck.
2006-10-29 07:00:05 · answer #3 · answered by Captain Codpiece 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband is the same way, and I've tried to tell him many, many times he doesn't need to worry about me, I'd never do anything (I haven't and honestly never will) but he still does get a little jealous sometimes. (He says it's because I'm so beautiful and he knows other guys want me, he just doesn't get that I don't care.) The only thing I can tell you is to be completely open and honest with him at all times and over time his jealousy will probably lesson.
2006-10-29 07:02:32 · answer #4 · answered by jenieatworld 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is jealous because not only are you 12 years his junior, but presumably you would not have much problem in finding someone else.
I lived with a girl once and was not jealous for one minute. She found someone else and left me. Now if I have a girlfriend I am jealous.
A couple of years ago I had a foreign girlfriend who I only saw sporadically because of finances, but we chatted every day in IM. I was insanely jealous, because our age difference was far greater than yours and she was drop-dead gorgeous. I loved her (still do) more than life itself and my thoughts were of her all day and every day.
I think you need to understand that your man perhaps does love you a great deal.
2006-10-29 07:03:57 · answer #5 · answered by steven b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to realise here and now that you have a big problem.........and it may seems OK ..... for now but years down the road this will be what will contribute to the marriage breaking up ... or troublesome beyond repair.....
So it 's best if you understand ..... that you and the love you have for him is not going to change his behaviour .... he needs to work through these issues ...... as they be triggers of something in his past ....and its not resolved and until he make a decision by acknowledging " his jealousy " as a problem.... it's going to be the companion or to be more blunt "the third party" in your marriage .
Hope I have helped.
2006-10-29 07:11:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is jealous because you are far younger than he and maybe attractive as well...
In order not to be jealous he should be at least as attractive as you are and have the same army of lovers chasing him as it is in your case (I guess so..).
Anyway, from his side, marrying a 12-year younger attractive lady while not being the "Big Jiggle" himself is not the smartest decision from his side..
I wouldn't do... Better keep a pair of good dogs...and look for yourself...
2006-10-29 07:34:13 · answer #7 · answered by Hohenzolern 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to look into your bf's background and also how his father treats his mother. It could be innocent jealousy, but this could also be the proof of a potential danger. The man you plan to marry possesses all the characteristics of someone who may be a wife beater!!! Be careful! Love is blind but here you have the chance to rethink your situation!!!! You have tried talking to him and he doesn't listen....Don't you hear the warning bells?
2006-10-29 07:00:34 · answer #8 · answered by INC0GNIT0 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that jealousy sometimes make the two no good. For me jealousy means selfishness, unsecure, possessiveness and evil to the relationship. If you have the trust 100% to each other no need to worried about or jealous.
Now, If he doesn't listen to you, you better junk him to the garbage as early as possible because he doesn't deserve your love but ruin you someday..
2006-10-29 07:00:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might not ever get over his jealousy, there really isn't anything you can do except be true to him if you want to be with him , just hope he isn't so jealous you cant even talk to another guy even at work.
2006-10-29 07:03:03 · answer #10 · answered by a1_friend64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋