how can i get on with my life?

Question

my husband left me without any warning his last words were if you could have had children id stay.10 months later i hear hes had a baby with a much younger woman we were married 12 years his family have cut me out of their lives as i have no family ive lost everything how do i carry on i did nothing wrong only loved and cared for him i had 3 miscarriages and he didnt seem that interested at the time how do i get on with my life now please

Answer 1

this man sounds like a complete loser - fine, he's found someone else and had a baby, but he clearly has no idea how to love someone unconditionally so chances are his new relationship will fail as well.

I think you need more help to get your life back together than you will find on this site - it must have been a huge shock for you, especially after having the miscarriages too. I would suggest you go to your doctor and ask them to refer you for some counselling. Take up a hobby and a part time job so you can get out and meet new people.

Be glad that your husband's gone - he sounds like a waste of space.

Answer 2

Wow, what a tragedy. I am sorry you had to experience all these sad things. You have certainly heard this many times before, but the only thing you can do right now is take one day at time. Even though it feels like you are never going to be happy again, you will get over it. It will take time, but I am sure that life will be good again and a man who can leave you just because you could not have children is not worthy of you. Spend as much time as possible with people that are supportive and allow you to talk about how you feel without getting tired of listening to you. If it is not unthinkable to you, visit a church in your neighborhood and get some counseling from a minister. He/she are used to dealing with these issues and can be of great help even if you don't believe in God. I wish you the best!

Answer 3

There is no simple cure.

I know it is hard and you will get a lot of advice but the only thing you can truely rely on is that eventually it will get better and you will not feel so much pain. You are right, it wasn't your fault and you did nothing wrong. He must have been a pretty shallow person if he left you purely because you could not provide him with a child.

You never know you could move on and find someone else and find you can have children with them. Look to the future and do not dwell on the past, try to forget him and concentrate on you, get involved in local groups and make new friends, your life will change for the better.

Answer 4

Miscarriages are frequently the result of genetic defects in the fetus. When they repeat, there is a strong possibility that both parents have a recessive genetic defect in common.

That type of genetic defect only expresses itself in offspring if both parents harbor the same defect. You may will be able to successfully carry a baby to term if conceived via another partner.

There is no cure for the pain of a broken relationship. That is going to take time and there is no way around that. The pain makes it difficult to invest emotionally in a new relationship, but that is what you must be willing to do. Think of the good times you had, you can have good times again.

There are a plethora of online dating systems now and they are used by people of all ages. There are many public venues in which you can meet new people. There are good old fashioned personals in the classified section of many newspapers.

I would suggest that you try to meet knew people and try to love again. Life is too short to spend it alone in misery.

Answer 5

The same thing happened to a friend of mine except he didn't wait until he left home to get his girlfriend pregnant. My friend later met a much nicer man and after 12 years unexplained infertility, to her amazement, had 3 children in quick succession. That was 20 years ago and she is still very happily married - would have been even without the kids - they were a bonus.

I'm sure you have some friends, a job? Make the most of these and things will get better for you. Time will heal and one day you will realise that it was for the best.

Answer 6

Do you know Jesus Loves you very much?

John 3:16
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

In my experience the only way I found true peace was accepting Jesus as my Savior. Find a Christian church near your home and you will enter the family of God. You will receive love and goodness and many prayers and support (from fellow believers). If you can also join a women's Bible Study. Praying is POWERFUL. Trust me I know. Get the book "Power of a Praying Woman" by Stormie Omartian. Very Very Good. It is the only way you will start seeing changes in you & your life. Reading and learning the Word of God brings you peace, love, guidance to everything in life. You will never regret having Jesus first in your life. He is the answer to all your problems. Be dependent only on Jesus, not on any man. You will never be the same once Jesus touches your heart.Will you allow Him?
I pray the Lord directs you to do right!~

Answer 7

Your husband is a selfish man to have abandoned you but life still has to go on. It may look like the world has crashed around you but remember that after the rain, you'll always get a rainbow. You have to be strong and get on with your life. Try and go out and meet new people or perhaps do what you've always wanted to do like travel or start on a new hobby. You need to find some fun to fulfill your life and have a sense of belonging. Go ahead and give a little love around. You can be surprised with what can come back to you.

Answer 8

Remember that just because you feel that you can't move on does not mean that LIFE doesn't keep moving along. Just because you haven't brought a life to this world yet, does not mean that you can't give a child a good life. What he did was selfish. Every day a child is born that doesn't have much of a chance of a good life. You don't have to share blood with a child to give them a good life. A true family is built on love, faith, and heart. Not blood.

Answer 9

Don't Re-Build your life - build a NEW life.

If you try to change and compare things to the way they were before when you were "happy" then you'll find yourself just going further down the spiral of mental negativity.

Just remember one thing - IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
People will keep on telling you this and you might think that they only say it to make you feel better but it's true.

Hang in there - don't let your mind and thoughts control you, get hold of it, understand it, accept it, put it aside and control your mind and thoughts and therefore your emotions.

Answer 10

I could say it will take time...but that won't make you feel better. First off, if he didn't seem interested in your miscarriages...he isn't worth worrying about.

The sure cure to a broken heart is.... go to bed...sleep and wake up. You'll want to do this repeatedly for about another 60 yrs. Somewhere between no wnad then, you'll meet someone...and your memory of the jerk...will be long gone...

This is of course overly simplistic...but I think you get my point....