My mother in law always puts her guy friend be4 her family. See we just moved into our very own new home and its an hour from her and she has only been here like 3times and is always going to see her guy friend who lives about the same 1 hour but can't every come see us or our kids her grandkids...She never buys our kids anything and don't play much of a part of mother to my husband or grandmaw to our kids...The guy she is with right now keeps telling her they are just friends however the only thing they do together is sex and thats it. that is why she is always going over to his place. so its like he is using her and as if she is being a whore and getting money from this guy too....i mean whats this sound like to you??? hello hello wake up something need to be said to her to open her eyes...
2006-10-28 20:40:22 · 10 answers · asked by christie_ford26 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Please keep in mine this is really upsetting my husband and our 3 kids, Also its not that i want her to buy my kids stuff cause they have everything they every wanted or need from me and my hausband and we are always giving his mom money to help her pay her bills and all kinda stuff and yes maybe she is using him for sex and money but its sad and nasty she is older then me yes but i feel like we are her parents now days and maybe i shouldn't worry about it and just let her live her life but it dose upset my husband and our kids as i said once already and as far as her raising my husband that didn't happen she left himwith a girlfriend when he was very little and she once again was with some guy... so before you answer this question please understand where we are coming form and don't get nuts with me ok thanks
2006-10-28 20:57:00 · update #1
You're asking something from her that she just doesn't have to give, hon. She does what she can but right now, looks like she has another priority.
And that's her choice. Stop dragging the kids into it. All they need to know is that they will see Grandma again and that until then she is busy. Stop passing judgements on mother in law, as even though your man may agree with you, he's not going to appreciate the observation. Keep conversation about the situation to a minimum. Do the common courtesy thing, invite her to birthdays and holiday family dinners and let the rest go.
Focus on what your family has to get done in a day and attempt to do it well. Love and nurture your family and welcome Grandma when she visits.
As far as giving her money goes, if you can do it ....fine. If not you need to go over the budget, figure out what is actually discretionary cash, and determine a fixed amount to give her every month....."Here mom, here's November's check. We'll have the same amount for you in December." Don't let her become your financial hemmorhage.
Breathe, look around you, count your blessings and let other people lead their own lives. You can't manipulate other peoples behavior. You can choose yours.
2006-10-28 23:18:30 · answer #1 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Study and Job both together good must be very tiring and then taking care of the home. Following suggestion may help. 1. It is better you hire someone to take care of your mother in law. 2. You cant change your mother in law so adjust to the situation. Move out frequently for dates with your hubby and enjoy life. Watch movie do things that make you happy. 3 Keep your self busy at home, Just ignore bitter words and move on, everyone has right to speech. Mother in laws are special give her some care, buy her some dresses, take her out too and see the difference. Best of luck
2016-05-22 04:54:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women always think because two people are having sex without being in a committed relationship, that it is the guy using the woman, and the guy is getting over. Have you ever considered that she is using him. I am also quite certain your mother in law is older than you. As an adult she doesn't have to answer to anyone. She has lived her life and raised her children. She doesn't owe anyone a thing. If you want her to see your children so bad, you go to her. As far as buying things for them, that is your job. You laid up and had children, so you provide for them. Focus on your marraige, and family life and don't worry about how other adults live their lives. It is hard enough to make a marriage work these days, without the added stress of involving yourself in everyone elses affairs.
2006-10-28 20:48:32 · answer #3 · answered by godhainder 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ummmm.... you have to be really tactful with doing this. especially with a mother-in-law. you just might start WW3...
some peoples moms are different... and they aren't as involved. it is weird. my step-sisters mother-in-law is like that. she actually had a man friend that she was humping like crazy for a while. it was weird.
anyhow, if you would say anything at all, i would suggest saying, we would really like to have you over more often. we would like you to be more close to the grandchildren. that is really all you can do without really pissing her off. sorry, but i just wouldn't tell her the man is using her. you will really make her so mad and she will never come around. also, older people get really weird with their relationships. my grandma had a "friend" for a long time and they were having sex... it is becoming the popular term for older people who don't want the long-term commitment, but instead a good friend with sexual gratification.
2006-10-28 20:47:03 · answer #4 · answered by christy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does exactly what she wants and doesn't care who sees it or knows it. Leave her alone with her life style, saying something to her is not going to change her into a brand new person. If you have a problem paying her bills, tell her no the next time she asks for money.
2006-10-29 00:45:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let ur mother-in-law live her life. U live urs.Pls cut down on ur expectations of her. In exchange for her time are u willing to give the companionship she needs, and put her ahead of ur family? so why expect the same frm her?
2006-10-28 20:43:23 · answer #6 · answered by a_drop_of_inky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're never going to be able to win that argument! Better to just be there for her if things go wrong, so she can see who she can trust and rely on. Wait it out.
2006-10-28 20:43:21 · answer #7 · answered by ladybird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who are you to tell your mother in law how to live her live
2006-10-28 20:51:45 · answer #8 · answered by acid tongue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just point it out to her...its your boy toy or your family take your pick!
2006-10-28 20:43:11 · answer #9 · answered by John M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get lost your mother in law has her own priorities
2006-10-28 20:42:52 · answer #10 · answered by q6656303 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋