Was I really THAT BAD of a kid?

Question

I am an 21, married, and a mother. I am in the middle of yet another serious fight with my mother. When I was a teen, I misbehaved a lot and my mom still cannot forgive me. She has even said that everytime she looks at me she's reminded of the bad times. She has decided that she no longer wants any contact with me or my family because she can't get rid of her anger. These are the things I've done as a child and teen:
1) At 7, I stole something from school and lied about it.
2) At 13, I used to sneak out while baby-sitting my little brother so I can hang out with friends down the street.
3) At 14, I snuck out to see my friends and got drunk for the first time.
4) At 15, I got drunk for the second time. They called the police on me.
5) At 15, my parents and I got into a fight and they kicked me out, which I didn't return for a month.
6) At 16, I skipped school to see my boyfriend.
7) I told my parents I hated them and I'd rather live in a foster home than with them.

8) They called the cops on me because they said I purposely threw a phone AT my dad, when in fact I was throwing it to get him away from me and it accidently hit me. They sent me to juvie for a night.
9) I was looking up emancipation because I couldn't handle living with them anymore.
10) I spoke with a police officer and brought him to the house because I thought emotional abuse was illegal.


That's about the extent of it. So please, tell me if I was really that bad of a kid to cut off all communication with your daughter, son-in-law, and only grandchild - forever!? Was I really that bad?

My mom says she wants an apology for what I've done - but her memory is very short because I have been apologizing for the past 4 years! I swear on my child's life that I have apologized and meant it. But all she seems to want is me crawling back to her once again. Is it even worth it anymore?

Answer 1

You know sweetie we all do stupid things when we are young that we are not proud of. I did some myself and I'm sure my parents wanted to kill me at times. But they never stopped loving me. I am a mother now and there are times when I get upset over the decisions my kids make but I could never stop loving them or tell them that I don't want to be around them! Sounds like you made some mistakes growing up but, I think your mom is making a bigger mistake. My advice would be, let her go her own way. But remember as your kids our growing up and making their own mistakes how it feels to be turned away. Let this be a lesson for you in your own journey of motherhood! God Bless!

Answer 2

Sounds to me you were a fairly average teen, not the best but certainly not the worse by all means, and I have'nt ran across a teenager yet that has'nt at least once said they hated their parents and they'd rather live somewhere else, but that does'nt give your mom the right to allmost totally abandon you and your family,especially her grandchild.I feel there's something else because the things you say you did does'nt warrant to me why she would be that angry. I think it goes back a little further then you. A mothers love is allways there regardless of what her child has done. I think she should look with in herself to find the really true reason she has made the decision and choses she has.Just keep showing her you are'nt that little snot of a teenager any more ,you are her daughter with a child that may grow up without a loving gramma.

Answer 3

So- you did some bad stuff. Many teens do worse- kill, committ serious crimes.....I didn't do as much as you. But- now you are older, and a mother and taking care of your life! Congradulations! So-your mother may need time to cool off. Maybe sending her a photo of yr baby every month or so, and a little note- saying what the baby is doing. Maybe in a few months, in a little note, explaining that it was definitely wrong of me to do all those stupid things I did as a teen, but now I have a different life- and also, taking care of yr grandchild. We need to put the past-behind and look toward the future-before it's too late. U are my mother- and I still think of you as my mother and will Always think of u as my mother. A mother is suppose to stand by her child nomatter what! It's time we both act ours ages and leave an opening for communication!

Answer 4

story of my life!!! except i'm only 18 and unmarried and not a mother. but 1-7 really explains me. it's all a part of life. How do parents expect us to be perfect? My mom even sent me off to MEXICO for 3 months!! You weren't THAT bad of a kid and I think that's wrong that your mother cannot forgive you. She is your mother...and you made a few mistakes so what at least you realize it now. Maybe you can try talking to her and explain to her that U dont want to lose this mother daughter relationship. Trust me, I don't know what I'd do without my mom. You don't want to regret not trying to work things out w/ her when you get older.

ANd also,
I am in my second year of college now. I have no regrets.

Answer 5

to me it sounds like you were a bit of a **** of a kid, and would have caused your mum a fair amount of grief, but if you have kept contact thru all this , i cannot understand why she says this to you now.
Have your say and let her go her way if that is what she wants , it hurts I am sure but if she wants this you can do nothing. Just keep the line of communication open for the future for your child and good luck in your child not giving you as much grief as you gave your parents :)

Answer 6

No, you sound like you were a pretty normal, average child/teenager. I think it's your mom who has serious issues. I'm a mom myself, and there's nothing in this world that my child could do to make me hate her/shun her without being able to forgive her immediately.

Your mom has to deal with these issues herself-- you've tried reaching out, and that's the best you can do. Wait until she realizes her own mistake. She'll regret not making up with her own child, and missing out on your current life and her grandchild!

Answer 7

as a mother, i think it's her duty to build you up into a good person, and sure everybody does stupid stuff like that when they're young. and everybody says things to their parents that they don't mean. the important thing is that you are pursuing a relationship with your mother, good or bad, and as your mother she should welcome whatever she gets. sure there's going to be bad times, but hopefully those will turn into really good times and give you both a foundation to grow on.

Answer 8

yes that is bad

Answer 9

YES, BAD