shes a widow for a while and right now she lives with her sister.
2006-10-28 19:56:32 · 35 answers · asked by looklikebradpitt 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's not necessary for mom in law to live with you after the wedding since she's living with her sister she needs to let you and your husband be married and have your time together as newlyweds. Mom just needs to get out and have a life of her own. I heard too many stories about how letting mom in law move in caused a lot of problems mainly because she couldnt stop meddling in her son or daughter's life and trying to tell them what to do and tell them how to be married. This seems to be a big problem with widowed and divorced mothers. Most of this is triggered by lonliness and the need to have people around. That's fine, but there's a time and place and your newlywed daughter or son isnt going to want their mom living with them especially after getting married. Being a newlywed is the time couples start getting used to living together and having sex and basically getting to know each other. I would feel a little weird with my mom living with me and my husband after we got married. Maybe it's time to introduce mom to a dating service or to people her own age so she gets out and isnt so preoccupied with living with her adult child or children who are newly married.
2006-10-29 01:18:14 · answer #1 · answered by nabdullah2001 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
NO WAY! You and your wife need time tom live and grow as a unified couple before you have another person in all of your business and even the nicest of parents present a problem when living with a new couple. On paper or in talking this may sound like an ok idea but trust me it is a terrible one. IT would be different if you have been married for a while but a new marriage is to tender to be able to deal with all the issues this will bring with it. Good luck and I hope things work out for you I know parent issues can be a tough one to talk about.
2006-10-28 20:11:58 · answer #2 · answered by NotSoTweetOne 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You two need to start a life of your own. A marriage is with two people, not three. If she moves in, your marriage will not last.
You two need to have "couple time" which means that you should be able to come and go as you both please, escape from family and friends and have sex where ever you want in your own place with out worrying that someone will walk in on you, have your own food, watch what you want on TV, eat what you want for dinner, in other words, NO PARENTS. You deserve that freedom. Your home is just that, YOUR home. Both of you wll have to decide wether or not to let her move in. If your fiance insists, then its time to revaluate the relationship and see if she is ready for marriage.
That was very selfish of your future mother in law to even ask. She needs to understand that you two need your newlywed privacy.
2006-10-30 10:18:53 · answer #3 · answered by kim_faut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are dealing with a bomb. What does your future husband think? Unless the woman is physically unable to live by herself, I would say it's a bad idea. Your relationship with your husband will take forms and directions because of her presence which will distort it. But if you are the one who doesn't want her to live with you and even if he agrees, you will receive the onus, now or in the future. He can--and probably will--say that it's because of you. This needs to be resolved openly before the marriage. I would not marry if my future mother-in-law's co-residency was part of the marriage, unless there were compelling medical reasons for it. Quite frankly, unless your husband is that rare son who is objective about his mother, I'm afraid you're in a no win situation.
2006-10-28 20:11:57 · answer #4 · answered by Antonio 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!! Big Red Flags! WARNING!!!!
The worst thing for newlyweds (or any married couple) is to let someone else live with them! Especially an inlaw! I don't care how they are related! It's not good for a marriage to have any family member living with them! I've been there a few times, & that is why I tell you NO! The mother in law can stay with her sis!
2006-10-28 20:04:13 · answer #5 · answered by MaggieO 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
No, no, no! You are newlyweds, for heaven's sake! What could she be thinking?
I understand that she must be lonely, but it would be an imposition and is really quite selfish of her to suggest this.
Not to be harsh, but I think she would be better off either learning to accept living on her own (if she can afford it) or perhaps moving into a complex where there are others of her age (don't, of course, know what age group she's in).
Newly-married couples deserve privacy and the chance to enjoy each other's company without the constant presence of another person around.
Very diplomatically explain to her that yes, you love her and want her to be happy but that for the sake of the three of you, her happiness and you and your spouse's would not be served by sharing a home.
If she's a sensitive person, it shouldn't be hard for her to accept and understand.
2006-10-28 20:04:01 · answer #6 · answered by 60s Chick 6 · 8⤊ 0⤋
I suggest she stays with her sister. Having a mother in law move in with you can't be good, especially so soon after getting married. If you let her move in, you will surely regret it. The first few years of marriage you are still getting used to being married..you don't need a mother in law in there.
2006-10-28 20:21:32 · answer #7 · answered by canadatechie 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
No, Nope, No way, Not gonna happen!
DONT DO IT.
Trust me when I say...this is one of the worse ideas in the entire history of ideas!
BTW What does your intended partner say about this?
May I suggest that there are many many many alternatives to this course of action.
Rent her an apartment
Move her into assisted living system
but, don't let her live with you!
2006-10-29 01:55:58 · answer #8 · answered by donamarie_1 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Everyone's different, but my parents-in-law moved in with us right after our wedding for 'a few weeks' and it wasn't until 8 months later that they eventually left. It was incredibly hard to live with them, I had to work full time as my husband couldn't afford all 4 of us on his income, we never got any thanks, like looking after teenagers, it was just expected and never appreciated. The strain on our marriage was very great, it was hard to be intimate with them in the next room. This was an experience that I will never tolerate again no matter what the situation. But only you know this lady and her temprament, how do you think you'll get on? Will she bring any income or be totally dependent on you? Will she actually only stay the 3 months or will she fight tooth and nail to stay there once she gets her foot in the door? You must do some hard thinking.
2006-10-28 20:09:55 · answer #9 · answered by NikC 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Put something in her drink.hahahaha All jokes aside are you crazy.Marriage is hard enough without a 3rd party involed. You two have just started a life and the beginning of the marriage is the best time.Don't let your wife ruin it with her mother.Find somewhere esle for her to live.If you have to help with the finances then do it. But keep her out of your home.Good luck
2006-10-29 01:56:30 · answer #10 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋