For those who homeschool...?

Question

I am checking out all possibilties for educating my daughter. She will be of school age next Sept, so I'm doing my research now. I'm considering homeschooling. I need to know though; how do you feel about "giving up" your life to stay home with your child/children? Do you ever resent it? I'm worried that if I homeschool, I won't have the opportunity to return to the workforce. I'm afraid I'll never have a "break". I'm afraid I'll go "crazy" not having adult interaction on a daily basis. Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

We have homeschooled for the past 14 years, have four children currently at home and 2 who have graduated and are now in college. I left my military career behind, and although I have worked part time since then, I have always concentrated on the homeschooling as my primary job. I've never felt I "gave up" my life to stay at home with them, on the contrary- I didn't give up a job, I changed jobs. So I've never had a reason to resent it, because it was a choice I willingly made.
Homeschooling is can be extremely rewarding for you and your child. I won't kid you, it's a lot of work on your part, and the first year is the hardest because it will be all new. You do not have to be isolated in your home while you do it. You can join a homeschooling group, and they usually have loads of extras and activities for you and your child. In fact, you may find you have more choices than you currently enjoy, and it can sometimes be difficult to choose just a few to do.
Before you make the choice to homeschool, though, you need to really do some serious soul searching of yourself. If you can't give your self over to it, without feeling as if you are "giving up" your life, and think you will be somehow less of a person if you do- then homeschooling is not a good choice for you or your daughter. I don't know what your career is currently, so I can't say if leaving the workforce will be detrimental to it or not. If that is a serious consideration for you, again, maybe homeschooling is not for you.
Homeschooling your child can present opportunities for you that you would not have otherwise, though. If you have not gotten your degree, or you would like to pursue a higher level degree- that is an excellent opportunity to do so. You can take courses online, or even in the evenings, and do some of your work alongside your daughter. While this is a personal benefit to you, it also shows your child how much you value education and that you also wish to learn things.
Being a homeschooling parent is one of the most personally fulfilling and challenging jobs I've had. And that's saying a lot, I think, as I have been a paramedic and nurse now for over 20 years. I flew with the military, traveled all over the world, and have seen some of the most exotic and strange places there are. Yet helping my children learn to read is one of my proudest accomplishments. I can't tell you what a thrill it is to be there when the light comes on, and know you helped provide the power that did it. You will relearn things you had forgotten you knew, and learn things you didn't already know. You have the chance to discover things you didn't even know existed, and learn things you never thought about learning. It's a close to a second childhood, with what you know now, as you can get. I think it's an opportunity every parent ought to grab if they have the slightest chance.
BUT, if your heart isn't in it; if you aren't willing or able to give it all you've got, or if all you can think of is what you will be giving up or leaving behind- then no, it's not for you. I don't mean to suggest it's a personal failing, because I don't think that at all. Everyone has different abilities, different talents, and different needs. You have to assess yours, nobody can do that for you. I dont' think you will be isolated from other adults, or that you won't have breaks, not if you don't want it that way or if you make the effort to prevent it. But if you look at it only in terms of what you are giving up or missing out on, and can't see it as an exciting and fulfilling career change, then you will not be happy doing it.
Whatever way you choose, choose it because it's the right decision for you and your daughter, based on the things I've said. If you decide to homeschool, give it your best efforts and full attention. Don't keep looking back, and don't waste time thinking what else you could be doing. If you decide that the best way to educate her is by sending her to school, then do all you can to support that as well. Be involved and stay involved in her education, however you decide to go. Good luck with making your decision, and I hope you are content with whichever you choose.

Answer 2

I homeschooled my son until he was 12.5 years old. At that time, I had a serious medical diagnosis, and he was in the throughs of puberty. So, the timing was good to put him in advanced classes in the public schools. But, I will tell you that he got a better education than any of his peers and leads the pack academically to this day. He has scholarships coming out the wazoo. The difficulty is in supporting yourself and dealing with know-it-alls who don't know a thing about homeschooling or who think that if you are single you don't have a right to do it. You are correct that homeschooling can dramatically improve a child's academic development. I would say that you should get the best support system around you as possible, develop an income that can be earned at home with flexible hours, do what is best for your son regardless of how others homeschool, and keep records that will protect you from ignorant complaints to the authorities. Don't bother messing up the flow of the education by documenting as you go. Just figure out how to create documentation that will pass and get busy-bodies off your back. Also, and this is meant to be supportive, please work on your writing skills such as punctuation. Anytime you have to document something, your writing should be as correct and proper as possible so as not to raise suspicions that you cannot provide the best education. Single homeschoolers are extremely rare, and I want you to know that it is a very satisfying choice, even as difficult as it is to pull off long term. Blessings!

Answer 3

If you return to the workforce, you would be giving up a whole lot of time you could be spending with your daughter. You would be giving up a great deal of your parenting time and handing it over to a teacher you may not even know. You would be giving up a lot of things that you can only have through being at home. By having a child, you are giving up the freedom that comes with a lifestyle without children. Every choice we make means we are not having something else.

I do not resent being home with my kids. We regularly do things with other families and I get my adult time while the kids get their kid time. I will admit to not needing a whole lot of other-adult time--I'm quite content to be alone and read a good book. I can go out in the evenings or on the weekends just with adult friends if I so choose. I am part of an online support group for our area and can at least have daily online interaction with other adults even if I don't see them daily. I don't worry about not being a part of the work force later on.

Homeschooling is a choice for a particular life, not the giving up of one's life. If you truly see it as giving up your life, then do not homeschool. If these are just fears, and not gut instincts warning you, then don't heed them too much. Take this next while to meet up with a homeschooling support group in your area to know more about how it all works, what's available where you live for homeschoolers, etc. Read everything you can from your library. If it all lights a fire for you to pursue homeschooling, then do it. If the more you learn, the more you fear it, then don't homeschool. It would be awful for your relationship with your daughter if you began homeschooling with resentment.

Answer 4

Its good that you are doing your research now. I think parents might have more trouble homeschooling when the decision is an impulsive one with little thought given it.
I am currently homeschooling my 5 year old (after much agonizing thought) and am finding it one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, more so than any work environment I was ever in.
Homeschooling is proving incredibly efficient and my daughter is zooming ahead, not because she is a whiz kid, but because this is easy to do with individual instruction. Because of this, we can relax and do lots of hands-on fun projects, messy crafts, nature walks and educational games. Seeing her delight in learning is incredibly fulfilling. I, personally, am using far more creative skills than I ever did at the workplace.
As far as staying home with the kids all day, I have found that this gets easier with practice. Because of the close time spent together, a lot of homeschooled kids(but not all!) are usually well behaved and are not competing for a mother's limited attention at the end of a hectic school day. Siblings usually end up very close and kids get good at entertaining themselves. I make my kids take a mandatory quiet time in the middle of the day so I can read a book or clean the house. They read books, play with blocks and do all sorts of creative things in their rooms. It has been very beneficial for all of us.
We have also joined a homeschooled group which has been very active with a variety of classes and allows me to socialize with the other mothers. I also insist on a ' life' without my kids. I teach flute lessons some evenings and play in a musical group that requires weekly rehearsals. My husband watches the kids then. I think it is important to continue something that interests you. I know other mothers who have joined book clubs or Bible studies or joined a gym that provides childcare, etc.
This being said, I will not say how long I will homeschool. Right now it works great, my child is thriving and we are having fun. There might come a time when it would be more appropriate for her to experience a different setting or teacher or to experience more group dynamics. The decision to homeschool is not one that is set in stone and should be reevaluated every year. In my experience, the families that have had trouble homeschooling have been ones where the mother, in great anxiety to cover 'everything' school is covering, have recreated 'school at home' and have overkilled the worksheets and textbook style learning , as well as the families where there was great mother-child conflict prior to homeschooling.
I also feel that with a child who is overly dependent on video games and television watching, that homeschooling might be more difficult because it is very difficult to compete with these two things. We strictly limit television watching in our family, and as a result, when we do occasionally show an educational video or play a math computer game, etc, my kids are totally enthralled. My 5 year old is also reading at a 4th grade level and inhales books. I doubt she would do this if she had a choice of watching television.
Just my two cents. You sound like a concerned mother. If you go into it with your eyes open and with a flexible mindset, ready to change teaching styles, curriculum, or send to a good school if need be, then you will do fine. I am sure, if your child goes to school, you will be on top of things there too and she will have a good experience. Good luck to you!--

Answer 5

Ok, as long as you thnik you are giving up "your" life, you won't be any good at this.

You have to think and beleive that raising your daughter is your life, and the most important thing, You should be the type of person who would have wanted to stay home with her, for the last 5 years not drop her off at a day care all day.

You have to think what is best for your child, not what is best for you.

And of course you will have days you want to scream, that is normal with kids anyway.

And no you don't have many breaks, it is full time life at home.

Hopefully you will live in an area where home school moms get together and get thier children to do activities together perhpaps once a week..

In our case, and in the case of many, they also schedule outside activiteis, music lessons, maritial art lessons, art lessons and the such for interaction with other children and for time they also meet with those parents.

And you take the school on the road alot, trips to museums, art galleries, historical markers and things in your area.

Math class can be done at walmart where you go figure the best deal on items ( even if you are not shopping)

We use a religious program that works well for us ( a catholic program)

Answer 6

The success of homeschooling depends on several factors. One thing to consider is the temperment of your child.
Is your child social and have they developed social skills?
Another thing to consider is how much resources your community has for homeschooling.
Homeschooling takes planning. It also has flexibility, which is great! It also takes money. Although you can find free items/resources from the library, internet and possibily your school district, you will still want to have your child interact with other kids their age. With your child taking lessons, etc you will have other adults to talk to. You won't get much of a break unless you team up with other parents who also home school and maybe you can trade activities/lessons with them. Or even share a field trip with them.

I have 4 children. The oldest is 25 and in nursing school. The second, 23, has already graduated college. The third, 18, is in college. And the fourth, 16, I am home schooling his high school. He is now a Junior. I have home schooled him since he was a Freshman. We both love it. He is in a program through the school district where I teach all the core classes, but he can go to his high school for any electives. He doesn't have to - he can (and has) completed all his P.E. at home. The school district supplies core books (History, Algebra, English) to me if I want to use them. By taking an elective class at the high school he can still socialize with his friends that he has known since Kindergarten.

If your child is a gifted student - your school district may have a special program to enrich their learning. Ask!

I returned to the work force after 15 years of staying home taking care of my kids. I took a course at the local college to update my skills. I was able to get a job easy enough early on. Although now with the dot com boom over, it is much harder to find work.

It is nice getting the instant feedback, appreciation and friendship at work. You do not get that when you stay home. Although there are lots of other rewards! I remember when my kids were in Elementry School and all the other classmates went to an afterschool care program. My kids came home. They were crushed and wanted me to get a job so they could stay with their friends! I told them, "You don't know how lucky you are that you can come home!" But of course, they just knew that their friends couldn't play until 6:00pm!

There is no "right" or "wrong" answer. What feels the best to you? Do you think your daughter will do good in a public school with you being involved, maybe as the room mother? I guess the key word is "involvement". And that can happen either home schooling or regular schooling.

I know how scary it is to start out and not know which way to go with schooling. When my first child was ready for First grade, I spent tons of hours on the phone interviewing different schools, public and private.

Answer 7

Sorry to say but your kid probably feels the same way. Don't get me wrong homeschooling is great. It is a great way to learn.

But you can always do other things while your child is working on a worksheet. Call up a friend an go into another room.

IM your friends/ E-mail too.


And to feel like you are still working, open up an ebay store or just list items around your house that you do not want anymore. If you do not have much clutter go to garage sales and get nice items to sell.

Get a legit job on the internet (a good one that I have found is http://www.justanswer.com .......it is a quick way to earn money.....scroll down to the bottom to fill out an application)


And make sure to take a night off and go out by yourself with friends or someone you love.

Happy Homeschooling!!

Answer 8

I can really feel with you on this dilema. I didn't give up my life to homeschool, but instead to avoid putting my young children in daycare, per my husband's wishes. He did not have the greatest childhood and wished for his children to have a closer relationship with their family. So, I made what others see as a sacrifice. It's sort of strange though, because when the youngest turned two, we started daycare because she was asking for friends. She has since thrived in that environment and I wonder, being the social person that I am, what did I miss?

One option I took advantage of during this time at home was continued education. I already had my BS, but felt that by staying home, I was really losing it my edge in technology. So, I became an online tutor to keep my skills sharp and also attended night classes in a graduate program. Whenever we had to introduce ourselves during the first class meeting, they'd ask what we were there for, meaning which degree, but I'd always answer, "I'm here for adult conversation." It helped, A LOT!

But, you asked about homeschooling and how that affects your life. I now homeschool one out of our four children. She has viral-induced asthma, so a single little cold can put her in the hospital. This has sort of forced us into homeschooling for her. In this case, the benefits far outweighed any negative impact on my social life. That's something you will need to weigh for yourself.

I'm lucky enough to have found a real job, with benefits, that I do soley from my home office, so that has helped when it comes to those feelings of contributing to the family. I know some say that as a stay-at-home parent, we contribute more than finances, but with my personality, I always felt that I just wasn't quite up to par.

I guess, with all of the above babbling, what I am trying to say is that it is going to depend on your personality and your reasons for homeschooling. Bear in mind that not all parents are cut out to be stay-at-home parents and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. We can't all be the same. We also have to remember that to be a good parent, we must believe in ourselves. We have to be happy in our lives or we can subconsciously push that unhappiness onto our children. So whatever choice you make, it has to be not only what is best for your children, but also what is best for you. If you don't thrive, you may be sending the wrong message to your kids.

Good Luck & God Bless!

Answer 9

I really enjoyed homeschooling my 3 children up until the oldest reached 8th grade. Any "sacrifices" I made have paid off greatly as the oldest is now a senior in public school taking all honors classes and doing well. She works about 30 hours per week and will be starting college in the fall. My second child is in 8th grade honors and he is in gifted and talented and has already taken the SAT. My youngest child is in second grade. I GREATLY REGRET not homeschooling her through elementary. She struggles with reading and math.

Socialization is not a problem for homeschooling moms or their children. The moms love to get together and teach or host special events. They also enjoy monthly nights out.

You could continue working part time on weekends if you so desire.

Answer 10

Very seldom will you ever hear the words, "I only wish I had worked more and spent less time with my family." C'mon??? Isn't the old-age lament this: "If only I had taken more time to do things with my children." ?

If working away from my family is my life then how great is that? Such a life.

Staying home with my children is not a prison sentence! OMGoshbygolly. I have worked part-time throughout some of our home-school years -- it is that time that I regret; the time away can never be recovered. It is time lost--- adventures undiscovered, field-trips not taken, learning "wow" type moments never seen.

What would I be giving up by 'staying home'? Not much in comparison to what I would miss if I were not here. Home IS my workforce. My children are more important to me than any group of co-workers could ever be. There is nothing lost and nothing to resent.

There is plenty of time to return to some other job in the workplace AFTER my job with my children is done.... teehee... it doesn't seem to end what with grandbabies and all. But I am almost done with home-education because my family is graduating into their own world of work, college and families. I can choose to continue a home-business and grow it larger or I can get an outside job. I'm only in my mid-forties and have plenty of time for "work" eeeeeew! I'd rather be playing.

Getting a"break" isn't so hard. I have lots of friends. We talk on the phone, use email, see each other, go places together --- it isn't much different than if I didn't have children! Actually, I have made MORE friends through my children than I have ever known in my life. They have more friends than I ever knew in 13 years of my time in public school.

I don't go crazy not having adult interaction ---- Why bypass adult communication when their are adults everywhere? I have regular contact with my own parents, my in-laws, my friends, the banker, my friends, the grocery store clerks, my friends, my husband, my adult children, my friends.... MUCH more time to talk to them than if I were at a 9 to 5 job!!! I also see and talk to parents of other home-school families nearly every day. We plan events together. Get together for meals. etc. etc. etc. My children have been in 4-H and on equestrian teams -- there are more adults than students involved. For every child that I meet I get to know at least 2 new adults -- often many more when I include the parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends, etc...

It is all about perspective. Who is important to me? Right now it is my children. Home-schooling gives them a solid academic foundation and it helps our family to stay intact.

When I put my children's needs ahead of my own wants I receive MORE for myself than I even thought I needed.