I love my girlfriend. But she has only had 3 serious relationships and has had sex with 9 people before me. My views are that you should only have sex woth someone that you truly know and care about. I have only been intimate with 2 people before her and they were both people that I dated for over a year. It really bothers me that 6 of the people she has had sex with were just casual encounters. How can I get over this? I feel awful but can't get it out of my head. I don't want to keep bringing it up to her because I know that there is nothing that she can do....
2006-10-28 19:35:23 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I love my girlfriend. But this is only her 3d serious relationship and she has had sex with 9 people before me. My views are that you should only have sex woth someone that you truly know and care about. The people that I have been intimate with were people that I dated for a while. It really bothers me that 7 of the people she has had sex with were with people that she wasn't entirely serious about. How can I get over this? I feel awful but can't get it out of my head. I don't want to keep bringing it up to her because I know that there is nothing that she can do....
2006-10-29 09:47:35 · update #1
Its a hard one bro. Just dont think about that. If every guy thought about all the things that his girlfriend did before they were together wouldnt we all be skrewed? Lol naw but it should bother you a little bit but as long as you guys are exclusive and she isnt cheating with you i dont really see much of a problem. If it bothers you that much find a girl that feels the same way you do and you should have no problems there!
2006-10-28 19:38:58 · answer #1 · answered by ManWithAPlan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lemme ask you this one first: Are you really the kind of guy who values lust over love? What I mean is that if you really love her, do have to give a sh*t on her past sexcapades? If so, then you might as well be a very shallow person.
You should learn not to mind her past if it's true that you really love her. That's just one of a hundred things a guy like you should know about loving and carrying out the best relationship you always wanted.
Just keep your paranoia away from you because it won't do you any good. You're right when you said that there's nothing she can do, so you'd better forget about it. Thanks for posting this good question. Too bad I can't give it a "Thumbs-up" but I hope I answered it accordingly and helped you fix this mess. Good luck!
2006-10-29 01:47:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I could say that it doesn't matter how many guys she's been with before, she's with you now, but I know from experience that that won't help. You feel sex is something you only share with someone very close to you, but at least in the past, she hasn't felt that way. The first thing you need to find out is if she still feels like she used to feel when she was with these other guys or has time given her a chance to become more mautre. Ultimately, if your value system and her value system don't line up or at least compromise, then it may be time to think of separating.
2006-10-29 14:05:50 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to put it out of your mind and get over it. If you can't do that, then you need to think on it and if it really bothers you...why would you continue to stay in a relationship that will torment you??
If you love her, just accept the fact that the two of you have different backgrounds and this is the here and now...and now in the present....the past is the past, forget it. Deal with the present and the future. Start fresh and new with each other
2006-10-29 01:43:41 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell yourself, what is done is done. You can't go back, cant change it and it will only destroy what relationship the two of you have together. This shouldn't be any great deal. You say that you believe people should only have sex with who they care about...Well, maybe at one point in time she did care about them. Just move on, life is too short to worry about the petty stuff. Just enjoy the time you have together now...For tomorrow it might be too late. And just think of how you would feel if she wasn't there tomorrow and all you could dwell on is who she slept with. Least she didn't cheat on you.
2006-10-29 01:41:11 · answer #5 · answered by Stars-Moon-Sun 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why should it worry you that she had sex with more people thyat you- AIDS and STDS don't care whether you had sex with one,two are ten people-get a life of your own and forget about who or how many people your friend is having sex with-what are you doing counting how many times she have sex and with who-worry about your self respect and your name
2006-10-29 01:43:06 · answer #6 · answered by brown sugar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take the morale high ground. If you do get into a serious relationship you'll need it.
Otherwise just trust her, and if it helps atleast she'll have experience?
2006-11-01 18:24:13 · answer #7 · answered by panties 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you're not compatible with each other. It'll come up again, the different urges and values that is.
2006-10-29 01:37:45 · answer #8 · answered by Huguenot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know how you feel and how it bothers you. Also let her know that there is nothing she can do about it but you need to get it off your chest.
2006-10-29 01:39:47 · answer #9 · answered by betty_htch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only 9! i would take that and run with her! the past should not concern you, you should let it go before you drive you or her away.
2006-10-29 01:39:26 · answer #10 · answered by DUSTY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋