Was I wrong to spank my 25 year old daughter? Her husband divorced her and now she moved in with me...?

Question

I have to tell you I can understand why he divorced her with her unsubmissive attitude lately. I told her to clean up the house and have dinner ready by 6 because I was having a buddy come over for dinner and then we were going to watch the football game. Well, she ended up cleaning the house but she didn't end up cooking dinner. I had to end up ordering pizza. Later that night after my buddy left I asked her why she didn't have dinner ready. She started breaking down and crying and saying that she had tough day and this and that, and I told her I wasn't going to buy this routine so I made her lean over the bed and I spanked her with a hairbrush that was on her dresser. Then she started crying some more and saying I shouldn't spank her anymore and that she wasn't a child. I told her I wouldn't have to if she had been a decent wife and hadn't of upset her husband. I feel that she came back under my roof and she needs to obey male authority. Am I wrong here?

Answer 1

your an ***hole you should be giving her some emotional support while sh is going through this rough time not spanking her and putting her down like it was all her fault that she is divorced. damn man she is 25 not 5

Answer 2

Are you kidding me!
You spanked your 25 year old daughter for not cooking dinner?
She just got a divorce which was most likely very painful for her & she probably has a lot on her mind. She told you she was having a bad day & didn't feel like cooking dinner for you & your buddy. Do you really blame her? Why should she cook for you & your buddy? Yea, she lives with you but that shouldn't mean she has to cook for you cleaning yes but cooking? Was the pizza really that bad? To where after your friend left which was probably an hour or so eating pizza, you still just couldn't forget about the dinner issue & go nag to her about dinner....Where is your sympathy for your daughter? Here's some edvice to you...Instead of being so self-ish with your needs, why not try hearing out your daughters feelings & try to understand her situation. Don't hit the girl for such an idiot reason, Hell don't hit her at all! The young woman is already 25 years old! She doesn't have to be disaplined by you at such an age...That's ridiculous! If I were her I would have gottin my sh*t & got the heck out of your home. She doesn't deserve that from her father at that age....Not even....So my answer to your question is YES!!! Yes you were very wrong..

Answer 3

Yes you're wrong. You're entitled to your opinion. You're also entitled to your roof. If you decide to share your roof, that does not entitle you to try to impose your opinion on your daughter, but if you want that to be part of the arrangement, be upfront. Tell her if she's living with you she'll have to submit to being spanked or however else you try to get her obey male authority. I think I understand where you were coming from, but it was a bad decision. It sounds like your daughter has learned to use emotionality to manipulate people. What she needs is to learn how to really deal with her emotions and other people, not to be spanked. Try listening to her and don't take her husband's side so easily. It's not always a black-and-white situation where one person is right, they might both need counselling! You sound all-or-nothing. Did you at least thank her for cleaning the house, or was she undeserving of any gratitude because she didn't have dinner ready? Think about what she may have learned from your treatment of her, both growing up and now. If you want to help fix things, try to see the big picture, and if you can't (so far you haven't), get help with it.

Answer 4

I think you were wrong to spank your daughter. She should not be submissive to male authority. Do you want your daughter to be in a abusive relationship, because that is where you are pushing her.

Should you be upset that she did not do what you asked, maybe. But you are her father and could have listened to her and tried to understand her position. Does she work outside the house, does she have children to raise as well. What is her life like. Maybe instead of telling her to clean your house and have dinner on the table you could try asking her nicely. Then if she did not do it, you should have sat down with her and talked to her like and adult and told her that you really needed her to step up and help you out. Instead you spanked her like a 4 year old who refused to pick up their toys when you asked.

Look at what she did do, she cleaned the house. Maybe she did a better job then what you thought, maybe the house was harder to clean, maybe she is a little slower at cleaning then you think she should be. But gosh forbid you and a buddy have to eat Pizza while watching the game. What did you do before your daughter came to live with you again. Who cleaned your house and cooked dinner for you and a buddy.

Personally if you daughter could afford it she needs to move out and get away from her controlling, manipulative father who thinks women are there for men to walk on and that they should cater to their men.

So your question...where you wrong here. Helly yeah you were. And if you were my father, husband or any man, your a$$ would have been laid out on the floor with a black eye and covering your balls.

Answer 5

You are SO WRONG on SO MANY LEVELS here!
She is your daughter, and you treat her like your wife, BTW, where is YOUR WIFE?? Just becausse your daughter came back to stay in your home does not give you the right to physically abuse her. She and her husband have their issues which made her leave him. She needs some support from her father, not a beating!
How dare you raise your hand, not only to your ADULT daughter but to a woman!! That does not make you a man, but a bully!
You need to get some professional help because you obviously have some F*****D up ideas about control and power.
Oh yeah,...did I ask..WHERE IS YOUR WIFE???

Answer 6

OH MY GOSH! I CAN'T HARDY BELIEVE WHAT I JUST READ!
Lady, as far as I am concerned, you have some serious mental problems! Your daughter is a grown woman! The dissolution of her marriage is none of your business by the way. If anything, you being her mother, you should be supportive of your daughter. This totally has to be a bad joke! Your lucky your daughter didn't bring assault charges against YOU, how disrespectful on your part! What's do damn bad about the whole thing, your acting so awful to her, and guess what? YOU RAISED HER!! GOD help your poor daughter....Someone needs to help her get the heck away from you-ASAP.

Answer 7

Yes, you are totally wrong here. She wants her dad right now, after going through a difficult time...so leave Mr. Macho out of this. Plus, she's 25!!! Not a little girl anymore! How can you think of even doing this, just to make her come back into reason? Talk to her...let her tell you what's going on, how she's feeling...be there for her. "Male authority" my a.ss! What the hell are you thinking? It's not 1935!!!!

Answer 8

You are very wrong and you have a very twisted sense of the relationship between males and females, and you should rethink the meaning of what a 'decent wife' is. Males are not the dominant sex - they have simply been suppressing women for so long that it makes them look dominant. However, women are equally as important as men in this world (hey, couldn't have kids without us!), and should be treated as such. After all, women put in just as much work around the house and in our careers as men do.

With that said, in terms of your daughter and her divorce - couples will fight, and some couples will realize that they are not meant for each other. This is life, and it is not entirely your daughter's fault that she is going through a divorce. Women were not made to serve men. Women and men were made to serve and honor each other! That was very rude, uncompassionate, and inconsiderate for your daughter's feelings to tell her that she was the sole cause of the divorce. And secondly, you shamed her by spanking her as if she were a child, and she is clearly not.

Please seek some help for yourself, because nothing good comes from such emotional abuse as you have laid on your daughter. You want to have a good relationship with your daughter, don't you? If you respect her, she will respect you. Please respect her and mend your relationship by getting some help from a counselor.

Answer 9

Its useless "TO CRY OVER SPLIT MILK". You are wrong 100%. Its your mistake that you (as parents) didnt brought up your daughter as to be a responsible, decent and good person. It was your duty to train her from her childhood, monitor and look after in her teenage. Now you say that she is divorced. Its your failure and not of her, as you didnt fulfill your responsibilities in a proper manner. Now to spank her or not is NOT important. Now you should work for her restoration, normalisation and recovery.
In my point of view, you need to be spanked and not her.

Answer 10

Yes. She is NOT a child, she did not do anything illegal or immoral, and she obviously did make an effort or the house wouldn't have been cleaned up.

You need to take a good look at your views on women, because they're obviously pretty fouled up.

Answer 11

First of all, she's yr daughter - not a wife. You don't spank a grownup! She's an adult- and so are you-so act like one. You sound like yr are a child. You should appologize-saying it was wrong of me (meaning you) to demand all that from you. You are my daughter and I treated you terribly, and I hope you can forgive me for how I acted.
--Shame on you DAD!