How Many Kids Should I Have?

Question

How Many? Im 20 years old. I dont work. ive got married 1 year ago. My husbands 21. He works. We own a big house. We pretty much have everything that we need. My husband earns over 50,000 dollars a year. Hes an architect, So money isnt a problem. We love eachother and feel the need for kids. We have been wanting a kid for the longest and now were ready. How many should we have.

Answer 1

I personally don't want more than 2. I just had my 2 in the past 3 years. I am 40, thus my rush to have them quickly.

Now that they are here, I absolutely know that I am not physically capable of going through another pregnancy or running after another small child.

These two will keep me on my toes.

I think that you should have as many as you feel you can take care of and love and provide for. My brother and his wife had 3, but really only wanted 2. The last one was an oops. She is loved, but I can see how far they stretch to provide for all three. They can never get ahead.

I grew up with two brothers. Three kids is a handful. I can't imagine any more than that. I had an aunt that had 6 - three boys and three girls.

I always thought it was weird that they had to share bedrooms because I got my own room.

Less is more.

If you only have two kids, think of all the things you can do with them. You can work with them individually and make them brilliant, independent, have great self-esteem. You wouldn't have a MIDDLE child.

Answer 2

Luisa is right. You both are still quite young, and just starting out. There is no hurry to become parents. Find yourself first before you have children. Finding yourself means getting out there and doing things that involve you with other people even if you don't bring home a paycheck: volunteer at an organization that is doing something you believe in. Staying home in your big house doesn't really sound like the most effective way to spend your time. You have only been married for one short year. When you say you have "pretty much everything we need," that may be true in terms of material things, but it doesn't include maturity or learning more about yourself. Twenty is pretty young to think you have everything all figured out. "Feeling the need" for kids may just be a symptom of not having enough to occupy your time.

Once you have learned more about yourself, you will have the ability to parent more effectively. Parenting requires a lot more than just having a nice, big house and a husband with a good job and paycheck. It involves patience, flexibility, tolerance, handling little emergencies, and giving up a lot of yourself. It means your world isn't going to be "me" oriented again for a long, long time. At twenty, I don't think you have the vaguest idea just how much becoming a parent will change your life.

Nobody can tell you how many kids is the right number for you. You will not discover that until you have one. Just by asking that question, you are, in my opinion, not ready to become parents.

Answer 3

Babysit a 2 or 3 year old for a friend or sister or brother, for a weekend if that is something they'd be comfortable with. Or if they have a couple of kids, babysit them all for at least an evening, including bedtime, preferably overnight.
Get a real feel for what it's like to have a young child around and have to deal with them as a primary caregiver for more than just a couple of hours.
If that doesn't make you rethink things, then I'd say start with one and see how many you think you can handle. My husband and I have two. That works for us.

Answer 4

I believe everything happens for a reason. Pray about it together as a couple and go with what feels best. We have 5 children and we prayed carefully about how many I should have. I thought we would have 6 but I know that was not God's will. I would like to have more but I know 5 is my limit and I feel like our family is complete now.

Also don't just have one unless you feel that is Gods will for you. I know so many people who will have one and say. I can't handle another one, but ya know what they actually entertain each other and it becomes a little easier when it's not just one. I also feel and studies have also proven that children are more well adjusted to deal with society if they grow up with a sibling.

Good luck on your endeavor to be a mother. I am a stay at home mom and it is the greatest occupation I have ever had. IHard as it may be at times, I love my job!

Answer 5

15

Answer 6

18

Answer 7

Try to have one at first and see how it goes. If after a year or so, you decide you can handle more, then get another one; and go from there.
Do you have a degree? It is NEVER a good idea to rely on husband's income so much! What if one day he becomes sick or disabled? Then what are you all going to do??? Definitely obtain at least a 4-year degree. You can take classes while pregnant.

Answer 8

How about this: get an education, travel, grow into a mature, well-rounded adult and THEN have a child. When that one is a couple of years old, consider having another.

I am 29 and I know many, many couples who married young and had kids right away, and were all divorced by 26, now sharing kids, fighting over child support and renting small apartments. You may be in love now, but you are still not an adult. Wait and see where life takes you as a couple, or you'll regret it.

Answer 9

Try for the first one and see how that pregnancy goes before you start planning to have a house full. Even though you're young, you can still have complications during a pregnancy. Many normally healthy women have them, too. So that's something you'll need to keep in mind... pregnancy can be dangerous for you as well as for the baby.

Answer 10

That is something only you and your husband can decide on. I think one child is good enough and 2 is plenty....It will take you having your first child really to know if you want anymore after that.

Good luck