i cant take it anymore?

Question

i can't take it anymore.

i feel like i'm going to explode.

i need to see blood. and a lot of it.

i'm in the process of recovering from a self injury (cutting) addiction.

and it's been a long time (2 weeks +) since i've cut.

and i really really REALLY need to. I can't stop thinking about it.

everyone hates me.

and i need to see blood.

a ton of people already know about it.

its been going on for 3 years.

i take medicine.

i go to a therapist.

and all of my friends already know bout it.

but they never help.

they say "oh it'll be okay." but is it ever?

no.

Answer 1

Is there ever a time when you dont feel like cutting? What are you doing when you feel like you are happy. What ever you are doing when you are happy and not feel like cutting, you should do more of. But, I feel you still must go through therapy. I suggest possibly switching therapists. Not all are the same. You need to find one that you feel really understands your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Someone you really feel connected to. Be proactive and seach the internet/telephone book, referrals arent always the best. Most city/states/countys have their own psychological associations with listings. You can call them directly and see how they interact with you over the phone. Good luck!

Answer 2

I just sent this to someone else in the exact same position as you are. I bet seeing the blood makes you cry right? I have ben there and can remember not being able to cry or crying and feeling that I did not have a good reason. After the blood and crying then you get angry right? Then what? You wish you could have held out just a few minutes more. I have been there, please just read this?

Gosh you sound just like me, and yes I "cut" in the past. I know si all too well! I can tell you that I have not injured myself for three years now, yippie but I also need to tell you that the thought still crosses my mind. I have to fight with every fiber in my body at times and redirect big time. It's so scary to think that you can relap just like that. What I do is take a good long look at my scars, the ones that will never go away, the ones that litterally tell a story, a bad horrifying story of I remember when. Then after this I tell myself(self talk), no way in heck am I going to allow anyone to get me to the point where I will injure myself again. I do NOT think you are looking for attention for I know I hid it from all for many years BUT I eventually went too far and wound up in the hospital because I was too afraid of the unknown, death! I did this program called CBT, cognitive behavior therapy and I have to say that it helped. Marsha Linehan is the person who invented this(so to speak) but WE the SI's are the ones who made this type of therapy possible. Elastic bands and ice don't work, this I know , the only things that did work for me was to distant myself to all those who were negative in my life, alot of writing(poems) , redirecting, I would force myself to walk especially when I felt like SI-ing, having a list of people you can talk to, and mega therapy. Ok, this is alot but I was tired of hurting myself on top of everyone doing the same. Now I just pull away from those who feel like a threat to me and I turn up the radio (cd's) loud and sing until exhaustion sets in. None of this is easy but you can do it little by little,. Baby steps they call it! Hang in ther and try to find somethig, anything that can help you get through the next bout. You can do it, this I know.

Answer 3

I am a recovering cutter too and it takes a long time and a lot of therapy to heal from this awful portion of mental illness.

When you feel like you need to cut yourself try to think of something. I know that you cut to relieve the pain of something that you may be feeling but honey it isn't worth it. Try to think of something else.

You don't need to see blood you need the help of a therapist or a Psychiatrist.

I know what you are going through and it isn't any fun, so I would suggest that you get help for your disorder. If you feel that you need to self mutilate yourself I would suggest that you go to the nearest hospital with a Psychiatric Unit and be admitted for therapy and maybe a medication regimen. I know that stress makes you want to cut but you can overcome it I did and I feel a lot better. Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 4

I'm sorry, it must be very difficult.

I honestly don't understand your particular problem but you have my sympathy. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks so I know what it's like to need help.

But it sounds to me like you are getting help, maybe not enough. Is there a support group you can join with people who have the same problems? They would be better able to understand and maybe give you some ideas or help.

Can you call your therapist? You need to talk to someone NOW. I find it hard to believe that "everyone hates you", they probably just don't know what to do to help you.

I feel terrible that I don't have a better solution for you. I wish you the best and I'll pray for you. Call your therapist and let him know how much trouble you're having.

God bless and good luck.

Answer 5

Ok, this sounds silly, but if you are in that bad of a way, at the last resort if you find you are actually going to cut and need to see blood, go in the bathtub, naked, pour ketchup all over your body and pinch yourself in sensitive areas. I am not joking here. Forgive me if it seems like a joke to you but I know how overwhelming it can be and it will be a diversion. Call someone, anyone and continue to be strong. I prefer you go for a walk or something, I am just offering something different here.

Answer 6

Either talk to someone or wake up to reality. I know I must sound harsh but there are a lot more people in this world that is suffering and never had the chance to live a great life. Well you do so why don't you stick your head out of the sand and taste this world reality.

Answer 7

okay, Im sure everyone here will give you he same advice. You should get some help. But I want to help you more. I know what thats like. I cut myself for months after my mom attempted suicide. But I got through it because of my friends and family. If you tell someone, you will get a lo of support. The only way to get out of this one is to help yourself. I really hope you do.

Answer 8

Rebecca, you don't need to cut, your fine take some deep breaths, read a good book, and by all means get some professional help

Answer 9

Seek professional help, but the first thing you have to do is to control your emotions and your thoughts. Is not easy, but you can do it. Seek spiritual advise as well, it may halp a lot sometimes.

Answer 10

well....my friend does the same thing....i nearly do it everyday, but the one thing that helps me not to is the fact that i want to see my friends, meaning that i live for my friends and nothing else...its hard to quit and nothing helps most of the time....but do what i do and live for my friends...if that doesnt work cuz people think your a freak and you have nobody to live for, then im available as a friend......or whatever....and you dont need to see blood....its bad for the health, physically and mentally.....if you need someone to talk to, then if yo uwant you can talk to me....