Strange Case: Red flag or am I paranoid---Did this guy think I was a "slut" or had bad intentions?

Question

To make a long story short, a guy I used to work with at a job wanted me to go to the movies with him. I politely declined b/c I don't date. It's personal, and sometimes embarassing, but I haven't ever been on a date with a guy and I'm 25. Yes, I'm pathetic, but I'm not afraid to admit the truth at least.

Weeks go by and the pressure "grew" and he asked me when I was getting off work some nights when I worked a later shift over the weekends. He said we could catch a late night movie b/c there was a theatre close by the job. I still politely turned it down.

Where I really became paranoid is where he shifted the direction differently. He would ask me to start coming to his house with him after work. He said he wouldn't charge and I could come over free. I was FURIOUS

I thought he thought I was an easy piece/slut .
I kept fearing I would get raped if I came into his house considering I didn't know him.


My question: Was I being paranoid and immature-with a long way to go?

Answer 1

any guy who pursues you in such a way after being politely declined is bad news. a gentleman would withdraw his attentions after being refused. even a cad with a normal sense of self-worth would turn elsewhere after being refused. the fact that he persisted and, as you mentioned, pressured you makes me think that he is not to be trusted.

it is one thing for a guy to come back after a period of time or after a change in situation (e.g. you two become friends for a while) and ask you out again. it is quite a different thing for a guy to persist and even pressure you after you have turned him down. he may just be a clod, but he could very well be stalker material.

imho, steer clear in either case.

Answer 2

It's kind of weird, the way he's behaving. Are you sending him any signals that you might be interested? You are not obligated to go out with anyone, or even to give an explanation as to why you are saying no. You may be a little paranoid, but better safe than sorry.

Answer 3

No, you were being perfectly rational. In fact, it sounds like he's stalking you... You were right in questioning his intentions and being mad. I'd keep a good watch on him and, if you can, have someone walk you to your car when you get off work to help you stay safe.

Don't worry about not having a date. It's good that you can admit it, though.

Good luck with the man, and good luck in general.

Answer 4

Trust your gut instinct. It is always better to be on the safe side of things than trying it out and then regretting it for the rest of your life. This guy might be a maniac for all you know. So, if you feel uncomfortable, dont..

Answer 5

That is a little creepy. I wouldn't go to his house either especially since you don't know him that well. And don't feel pathetic. I've never dated either and I'm 21. It a personal choice; I'm actually having fun being single. Its less drama!

Answer 6

Not at all! You always follow your first instinct. If you feel uncomfortable about anything in life do what you know is right. Good Luck Tell him to back off! or you'll file a sex act on his a**.

Answer 7

This could have been a joke, a simple "laugh" for him. But I think he should really watch what he's saying. I wouldn't go over there to his house. Even if it was a joke, it was rude and degrading.

Answer 8

sweetie.. why havent you dated ?
you arent immature or paranoid.. it's the right thing no tto go to his house... you hardly know him...
but you need to date ...you cant stay alone forever a human being needs someone to be there for them and to be by your side..you know...

Answer 9

25 ? no date ha thats sucks

Answer 10

follow your heart and gut feeling..............