My mom is fat. How can i make her feel OK without lying?

Question

my mom is, undoubtedly, obese. she constantly asks me " how do i look? "

and " do these jeans make me look thinner?"

yes, her self-esteem is probably low. i feel obligated to say " mom, you look great. those jeans do flatter you"

but i feel like i'm lying thru my teeth, because she DOESN'T look great, and those jeans look SH!TTY.

what would u say?

Answer 1

You and I have a very similar issue. My mom is obese too. She's constantly asking me what looks best on her and if something makes her look thinner. Since we shop together, I'm getting these type of questions on a constant basis. When she asks me those "How Do I look" questions, I try to avoid a solid answer. Like is she ask me if she looks thinner in some jeans, I'll say, "Let's try on a different pair and see which one fits best." And most of the time my mom end up finding something that looks or fits better. Help her shop correctly, there are so many stores for plus size women with really great clothes. My mom loves Torrid and Lane Bryant. Oh and Ashley Stewart is also her fav. I mean sometimes you can't help but tell a little lie but I think that you should avoid it as much as possible. I mean would you want her to lie to you about something you have on. I know I wouldn't want my mom too. Try to build up her self-esteem in other ways. Much Love.

Answer 2

Rough deal. Always be good to your mom. Self-esteem boosters will help her and go a long way.

If the jeans don't look the best, say something like "those jeans are OK, but I really like....." Help her find clothes that work for her and that would be a good mother/daughter activity.

My mom is in heaven now and I miss her very much. To me, she would look wonderful in anything if I could just see her. Take care of your mom's feelings please--for both of you.

Answer 3

Suggest that the jeans in question don't flatter her figure, and point her towards some that aren't as bad. Hint: if she's going toward the "easy fit" jeans, they'll just make her look fatter. Point her towards straight-leg or flares... and yes, they do make them in women's sizes.

Something you might consider is seeing if you can talk her into joining you in an exercise program. It can be something as simple as taking a walk every night, and lets you do something together. It will make her less likely to quit the exercise and that means that she's more likely to lose some of that weight and feel better about herself. Regular exercise also helps control the metabolism and helps reduce the urge to overeat.

Answer 4

I would tell her the truth. If something looks good on her then tell her so. If it doesn't, then tell her that too. She knows she's overweight. She can see herself in the mirror. Flattering her only works short term. You might consider telling her that she's overweight and offering to work out with her. Being healthy can be a family goal. Losing weight will help her stay healthier longer, and help her self esteem as well.

Answer 5

Instead of telling your Mom she looks good when she doesn't..why not try honesty and a suggestion . Like, those jeans you have on really don't help you look your best...why not try another style or color? Or offer to go with her to show her other options. She may be upset at first...but I'm sure she will thank you for being honest with her and trying to help instead of over-looking what she wears. Good luck.

Answer 6

What a teenager thinks looks good and what an adult thinks looks good can be two different things, so I would suggest keeping your mouth shut about her clothing.

What you can say is "Mom, you're so pretty everything looks good on you!"

You can also go shopping with her and help her choose clothes that are flattering.

Answer 7

thats really hard considering she is ur mom. if it was me, i would sit her down, and ask how she feels about herself. then after she says she feels ugly, etc, i would suggest making healthier choices, or goin to the doc for some help, because i love her, and i want her to live long. and as for making her feel good at the moment without lying, say what always works: mom, ur beautiful jsut the way u are. ur not saying she is fat or skinny this way. me and my girlfriends recently spoke about how do u tell a person she is fat or not, and the best thing to do is tell them they are beautiful they way they are. then u may say, but if u feel unhappy, u can do something about it. try being supportive at whatever she tries to b healtheir.

Answer 8

It's very important that you tell her when the clothing she is wearing makes her look like a sausage... you know- if it's two sizes too small... I think most women who wear way too small clothing have no true friends who tell them straight that what they are wearing makes them look terrible. Be that friend. Compliment her when she is wearing clothing that fits her size and is age appropriate.
What would I say?
If it's great: " Awesome!"... or " Perfect!".... "I really like that... that outfit makes you look so pretty!"
If it's not good: " I don't think so, Mom! Not liking it at all. I can see everything you don't want to be seen. Trust me- it makes you look big!"

Answer 9

Definitely. Especially folks that lie plenty. The simplest strategy to preserve monitor is to suppose that the whole lot truthfully occurred. I used to lie like loopy while I was once a youngster, to face out and be spectacular and appear extra intriguing. I stopped many years in the past since there is not any use in it. When l consider again even though, I nonetheless mostly ought to consider REALLY rough to recall the reality and what truthfully occurred since I did any such well process of convincing myself of my possess lies. Very unhappy.

Answer 10

Tell Mom ..... that she has too much wisdom and love for her family .... the heart and the head can only hold so much ... the extra may have moved a bit, but it has made her the best mother!

Looks don't mean a thing if your loved, and the loved ones love you back.

Just tell her not to mix the plaids & stripes!