I am getting married in Kentucky, but currently live in Alaska for graduate school. Since moving to Alaska, my fiancee and I have made many friends that obvisouly will be unable to travel to our wedding (as it costs over $500 to fly there). Do we still invite them, or will it seem like we are simply asking for gifts?
2006-10-28 17:59:40 · 12 answers · asked by ukerin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yes, you can still invite the distant friends. It is up to them whether they can afford to make the trip or not.
It would be considerate for you to make their lodging costs as low as you can, either having them stay with family members or reserve a lower-cost block of hotel rooms and let them know how to get that cheaper rate.
If you mean it to be an honest invitation, rather than a gift-grab, there is no reason they should perceive it as a gift-grab.
2006-10-28 23:59:37 · answer #1 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly okay to invite them, if indeed you would like for them to come. When my daughter got married we had a small group (12) ceremony one afternoon. Then the next afternoon we had a large group (100) reception/party and invited everyone that lived in range to come to this event (we lived in Austin, TX then. We sent "announcements" ("bride and groom were married, etc.") to other people who were close to either the bride or groom, or relatives and friends who lived out of state or at a distance and could not attend either the wedding or reception. This added about 75 more names. The people who attended the wedding were close family. The people who came to the reception were mainly family of the groom (lots of cousins, etc.) who loved being included since they lived in our city. Some gave gifts, some sent best wishes. Most of the people who received announcements acknowledged receipt of the formal announcement by sending a card to the Bride & Groom. Some of the cards contained checks and a few sent substantial gifts, but most were checks. They were glad to hear from people who did not send them anything but a card. There is still the "Emily Post way of doing things", although many people don't bother about proper etiquette these days. There will be people who think that you are only fishing for a gift no matter what you do. There will be others who will be glad to be included and will acknowledge your marraige in a positive way. If you have good intentions, the people who care about you will know it. The others don't matter.
How exciting to go to school in Alaska. Hang on to your friends there. You may be surprised at how many might show up!
2006-10-28 18:56:10 · answer #2 · answered by kathy s 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Invite them. We invited all our friends and family from the UK to Canada for our wedding. If they can I am sure they would love to make the trip. I feel they would be more upset that you didnt invite them then if you invite them to make the long trip. Help them to find hotel accommodations and find some other things to do other than the wedding. My advice is have them come a couple days before the wedding and if they wish stay longer have them around after the wedding not before. It ads too much stress before hand having to finalize everything and have people to entertain at the same time. I speak from experience .
2006-10-29 05:14:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I'd send out a 2 part invitation - Invite to your wedding at.location A.....(include list of hotels, guest houses etc for the area) and invite to reception at location B.....(again include list of facilities there) - That way everyone can attend one event.
Congratulations and Good Luck for the future..
Wishes n Dreams
XxX
2006-10-28 18:13:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. I would just be honest to your friends. Let them know that you're having an out of state wedding and asked if they are willing to travel to attend your wedding. If they say yes than I would send an invitation. Those that can't make it I would just tell them I won't be sending invitation to them b/c u know they can't make it and you don't want them to spend $$ on gift. Those that can't make it to the wedding maybe throw a dinner at your house as a way to celebrate your wedding. This way you won't leave anyone out of it.
I know alot of people who invitate friends knowing they won't make it. I thought it's tacky....
2006-10-28 18:06:38 · answer #5 · answered by uniqaznmeg 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes invite them. Dont assume they wont come to KY. So invite the important friends from alaska and make it clear in the invitation that the wedding is in KY.
2006-10-29 02:01:35 · answer #6 · answered by Educated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The whole family just received individual invitations to my Niece's wedding in Miami, FL, and the reception, weeks later in Phoenix, AZ.
(We live in IL).
If we flew to both of those things, we wouldn't be able to afford to buy them a present. Most likely we won't go to either. My (grown) kids are not in any better financial positions. I suspect my Niece knows these things but is fishing for gifts. I'm sorry I feel that way, but it's the same sort of thing, only she's a relative.
2006-10-28 18:15:37 · answer #7 · answered by Computer Guy 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Tough call. Why don't you talk to the people on the phone and ask if they'd like an invitation? You can discuss with with them and explain that you want to send invitations only to those who can make it..
2006-10-28 20:23:26 · answer #8 · answered by canadatechie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should still send invitations to show you are indeed thinking of them. Perhaps call your friends explain you are sending them but do not expect them to come as it cost too much. Also write in lue of gifts a simple card would be appreciated
2006-10-28 18:11:11 · answer #9 · answered by Shadow Kat 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its best to explain in your invitation that its and out of state wedding and if you'd like to attend please RSVP and etc. My cousin recently got married this month in Texas and we all are from Houston and she was married in small TX town in Kemah ,TX and she didn't invite me or my family but she invited my aunts..An i feel that is wrong I gave her a gift of 100 dollars in cash an all that tackybitch did was send me thank u card saying that our money me and my hubby gave her helped pay for her wedding OK but she couldn't invite us . but what takes the cake is she sent one thank u card to my mom's house and mispelled my name now isn't that tacky..I told her how i felt in a email this week and she gave me boring apology., yet she acts like she is all proper etiquette all the time but that was just hood rat ghetto how she behaved
2006-10-28 18:42:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋