My mother in law is evil. She spreads stories, threatened to kill me a few years back (forgot it 2 days later though) abuses me when my husband is at work then says she was only joking, doesnt speak to us for a few months then gets angry at us for not calling her and makes up that she is dying and we didnt even care (for the record she is healthy) It was hubbys birthday yesterday and she didnt call, tries to turn my family against me and thats just the start of it, there is so much more. We are having a baby and my husband doesnt want her having anything to do with it and honestly I agree. I have not done anything but be pleasant to her, but I know that if we dont have her see her grandkid she will blame me for it. What can we do?
2006-10-28 17:46:31 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You should set up guidelines for her visiting your children (no verbal abuse, always under supervision, etc) and let her know that if she does not follow those rules that she will not see her grandchildren again for at least nine months (maybe a year).
2006-10-28 17:50:27 · answer #1 · answered by rockinjesusfreak03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geeesh...I know we're not related...so how can we have the same M.I.L.? Mine may have got yours beat! 31 years later, and much is still the same (I'm sorry to tell you), but a lot of things changed after we had our first born. You will find yourself holding the cards! Although I don't agree you should cheat your child out of being close to his Gramma or Visa-Versa, I think you will find her at your mercy a few times more than not. You must always try to respect your elders...and it doesn't hurt to try to kill her with a little kindness too. She's obviously jealous of you, and that can be a pretty common thing with Mothers of "Sons". Blood is usually thicker than water...and although your husband may ACT like he wants nothing to do with "Mommy Dearest", the bond is usually pretty darn strong. She can't turn your family against you either...they must know what she's like. You are a big threat to her...when that baby comes...that'll get a lot bigger. Enjoy your pregnancy and look forward to a new way of life. Children have ways of making all things better. I've been there, done that and still roll my eyes up when she leaves! The very best of luck to you, I feel your pain!
2006-10-28 18:05:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's best to keep contact with her to a minimum for all your sakes if mom is going to continue acting like that...
Anything you do won't be right so why stress out over it? She gets her kicks causing trouble... I'm sure the family has seen and heard enough of that kind of behavior....
When she visits and starts her usual routine - tell her that her behavior isn't acceptable any more and she has to leave... (you and your husband need to be in agreement on this matter.)
2006-10-28 18:05:24 · answer #3 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, some people in the family we can only see on "special" occasions. You can't have all of that negativity around your new family and little baby. She sounds a tad bit "off" and separating her from your life is not uncalled for. Thankfully, your husband seems to have a good perspective about his mother and will support you on this. Frankly, it seems most families have someone like this. In my family, cell phone #'s are coveted and threatened with sudden death if they are shared with certain people!
2006-10-28 17:53:39 · answer #4 · answered by PinkieDovie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will never change this woman. I know from experience. The only person who can deal with this is your husband and he has really got to lay down some strict rules for this one, and make sure she follows them. Sounds as though he is on your side so one rule could be that she is not permitted near you or your child unless he is present. Good luck. Don't put up with any crap from her. My experience was with my own mother. I'm male.
2006-10-28 18:00:49 · answer #5 · answered by Ted T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number one, you, your husband and your baby is the most important thing on earth, forget her!!!! Get her out of your life. If she was a good person, she would not behave in this manner. This is the most ugly thing I have recently seen. Dr. Phil, don't laugh, had guests on where the mother-in-law was a you know what, and she was told to stay out of their life, get one of her own. If you don't stand up to this, you will regret it with all your life and your husband's, and your children. God strength to you. And sorry, but grow some!!! Love to you and your family, immediate only.
2006-10-28 17:56:15 · answer #6 · answered by doris_38133 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your husbands mother, let HIM handle it, and get things straight once and for all- preferably before the baby is born. Why has it gone on this long? If your husband has a good stern talk with his mom, I think she will get the message.
2006-10-28 18:04:07 · answer #7 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister has a m-i-l who's a b*tch, too. Sounds like this woman has some personal issues of her own...possibly schitzo or even bi-polar. Though she is family, it's something you'll have to deal with, now that you're part of his family. When she says she's joking, let her have it. I know it sounds mean, but you can't let her continue to ruin your life. It's not fair to you.
2006-10-28 18:11:32 · answer #8 · answered by irish_mick_25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that your mother-in-law may be lonely (I mean no partner or no life)!
If she is really is what you say...EVIL...then why would you want her around your child, grandparent or not!
Take the advice from the person who knows your mother-in-law best...YOUR HUSBAND!
2006-10-28 18:04:30 · answer #9 · answered by Lovely 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's either you and your husband happiness that matters for your child,or be miserable for the rest of your lives. she would just have to be mad, because I'm sure if she says it is your fault the rest of the family knows the truth. send x-mas cards.
2006-10-28 17:52:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋