I just got aout of a relationship 2 years ago. He was an alcholic, abusive. Now I'm with this guy for 2 years, he has always kinda been mean. What's wrong with me? He does crank, coke or ice. He is always talking about it! I trry to get him stop using. I want him to do good. He stops than starts using again. He calls me names, like fat ***, I stink, but I don't I have lost alot of weight since I been with him. I got in a fight with him tonight because he wants to use, I do love him very much. He does not hit me like the other guy. I think that's why I have better respect for him. But isn't a drug user alot more worse than an alcholic. I don't know what to do? I sick of this I feel Like I want to run away into a hole somewhere. Why didn't I pick a better guy for myself in the long run. I am really considerate girl I am very compassionate. I wish people didn't take advantage of that. I take care of people if you know what I mean. Am I'm just tired. I feel so sad.
2006-10-28 17:41:58 · 31 answers · asked by Christal R S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why in the world would you be with a guy like this! You must have very low self esteem or maybe you are just dumb.
2006-10-28 17:43:43 · answer #1 · answered by coloradopsych 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to read over what you wrote about 10 times. You have the first step down pack. You know you have a big problem and you want help. First of all, your picking abusive people because you have low self esteem and don't believe in your self worth enough to change. You DO deserve better, but only YOU can do that for yourself. And it's NOT hard. Learning to like oneself, and accepting yourself for the way you are TODAY is a must. YOU have to be YOUR top priority in life. Join a self help group, get books at the lib., or on the web you can get info.What everyone else thinks about you is only their opinion. People who are busy telling others how to improve themselves with insults, most always have a back yard themselves) that looks beyond disgusting. Ignore them, their not worth your precious time. Take the energy your using on feeling sad, and put it towards helping yourself grow into a healthy human being. Good luck to you..
2006-10-29 00:56:56 · answer #2 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like you have a knack for the bad boys, That's the problem with us girls is that we are considerate and have a lot of compassion, it seems that (don't get me wrong) that the guy that you were with b4 took a lot of confidence out of you , that's why you went for this other guy, it a scary feeling for the first time being in a relationship to where the guy treats you like a queen... your guy now, you think 'oh things will get better' but honestly hun, you cant help someone if they don't want to be helped. I'm kinda of in the same situation but not the abusive part, you should never let a guy put you down, ever,,, remember this"no guy is ever worth making you cry" you need to find yourself a good man... maybe even take a break from dating just to figure out what you want, and from who... i definitely know how you feel... don't feel to down, ask yourself one thing DO YOU LOVE HIM? and if not get out before things get worse.. take some time to concentrate on you... than worry about which guy is good enough for you, the way i see it is that we are women and we deserve to be treated with the up most respect and like a queen... hop i helped
2006-10-29 00:53:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Him calling you the fat word is a red flag. I know you love him very much, but he's doing drugs and calling you names. I would get out of the relationship. I think that a drug user namd a alcoholic are the same thing, they both have the same affects together and they both cause depedency. It's nice that you are a considerate and compassionate person, but if you're like that, you don't deserve a guy like him. It's okay to be in love because when you find someone better, you'll forget about your current one.
2006-10-29 00:47:58 · answer #4 · answered by huffypuffle 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should get away from your current bf as soon as possible. He may not be physically abusing you but he is verbally and emotionally abusing you. People on drugs can turn violent at any time. You say you love him (I believe you think you do) but he doesn't respect you if he keeps using drugs and calling you names.
You deserve much better. I really hope you will talk to a counselor to find out why you lower yourself to be with these losers. Please call your local mental health association or a women's crisis center and ask for a referral to a qualified counselor. Hang in there, good luck and remember you deserve more!!
2006-10-29 00:49:29 · answer #5 · answered by just me 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're right. You should run away. You deserve so much more then someone who disrespects you. If he truly loved you, he would seek help for his drug problem, but frankly even that is not a reason to stay with him. You must take care of you, instead of everyone else. There are good men out in the world. Leave this guy and don't even think about looking back. You are to special to be anything but cherished by the man you spend your life with. I don't even have to know you to know that.
Believe that you are worth it.
2006-10-29 00:46:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off, don't call yourself stupid, that doesn't do your self confidence any good. Do you think you can rescue this guy from the drugs? Sometimes people are attracted to people with problems because they think they can rescue them. You problably have self esteem issues, perhaps you should consider seeing a therapist. This guy is pure trouble, you should get out of that relationship pronto. Maybe you should remain single for awhile and work on your own issues. Just a thought.
2006-10-29 00:49:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes you are in a bad relationship b/c that guy is going to get really bad on the drugs and he will do something stupid like maybe treating you and possibly kill you. People overdose on that stuff and they don't know what there are doing half the time so get out of that relationship as fast as you can b/c that relationship ant risking your life for so best bet is to try to find you a better guy that treats you with respect and don't do drug or drink
2006-10-29 00:50:40 · answer #8 · answered by Ashley L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No , your not stupid, you are just accustomed to bad relationships. Usually, nice considerate , helpful, giving women are looking for some one to take care of or someone to change. Neither aspect is good. You can not take care of someone who has Abuse problems, whether it be drugs, alchol or anger issues like verbal and physical abuse. Also you cant' change somebody.You can ask, plead,and demand for that person to change, and you may see some changes, but they will go back to that habit or worse, resent you for trying or making them change and they will disrespect you and hurt you emotionally or physically before it's all said and done. There are many agencies you can contact in your area for help. If your guys willing to go to counseling with you and rehab for himself, you may have a shot with him. If not, look for some counseling for you (look in your local yellow pages or phone book for crisis intervention. There's many places that can help you for free or little cost. I think you need to feel Good about yourself and realize that taking on the people with problems is only making things worst for you and breaking up your self esteem. Good luck and if he won't work with you, get out of this relationship and get some help for you. You are obviously depressed and worn out. You cant give 100%of yourself for anyone or you'll have nothing for you. Take care of your self first.
2006-10-29 01:00:04 · answer #9 · answered by fourbearsandacat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you live in a small town in southern Michigan? If so, you know how I feel. If not, you are not stupid.
You do need help. You know you need help so why don't you get it? The mental health facilities should have papers that you can fill out to get free help. Don't just sit on your asset but do something about it.
In the mean time. You do not deserve sympathy as you are desiring. You just do this for attention. How brainless and inconsiderate.
2006-10-29 00:49:55 · answer #10 · answered by grannywinkie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The more ur the in that relationship, the more ur going to get hurt. If he calls u names, then wuts the point of being with him..it seems to me that he doesn't respect u.then soon ur going to see ur self as nothing..U say he used drugs..why would u want to be around that...aren't u scared that one day he may point at u with a gun or sumthing..drugs make sum people do crazy stuff! i understand that u love him very well he seems like he is going to turn out like the other guy.its not going to be long until he hurts..or hits u...if u were to let go of that other relationship..then it shouldn't be hard to let go of this one..
2006-10-29 00:53:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋