i'm thinking about relapsing?

Question

first of all, i'm NOT writing this for attention.

if you say that, then i'll report you..or something.

i'm writing it because i'm serious. and i need to know some answers.

i'm in the process of recovering from a SI addiction. It's been going on for almost 3 years. And i haven't done it for about 3 weeks.

Tonight just absolutely sucks.

I'm losing absolutely everyone I talk to. I'm turning into such a _____. I apologize, but sometimes I don't realize what I'm saying until it's too late.

Like I'm honest, but I'm too honest.

And I just can't stop thinking about it.

Like, what are osmethings that you guys do to avoid it.

I'm not talking about doing a different activity..or snap hairties..or hold ice.

because NONE of those work.

or do you go ahead and just feed your addiction?


i just feel so low right now. and that's the only thing i can think of that will make it all okay.

i go to a therapist once a mth.

& i take medicine.

si addiction= self injury. (cutting)

Answer 1

At the end of the tunnel right now - the light may seem dim but its there I swear. Don't feed into the addiction. Just hold on. Really now - If you never felt pain, would you understand joy? Just hold on.

Things always get better - because when your at the very, very bottom then you can only go up. When your days and nights seem outnumbered - keep your head up high, cause if God takes you to it, He will take you through it.


Just hold on.

Answer 2

Call your therapist. That is why they make the big bucks. I don't know what Si addiction is, but you've made it 3 weeks, that's great. It's always about one day at a time. Read a book, take a bath, go to sleep. I quit drinking 7 months ago and I would love a glass (or several) of wine, but my pride keeps me from it. I hate to fail at anything. It I have a drink, I will have failed myself and it is myself that I want to be happy with. Good luck and don't let this one bad night ruin the last 21 nights. Any kind of addiction really takes the fun out of everything else, but it may be too soon for you to see it. Give it some more time. Really, call your shrink and talk to him. Also look in the phone book in the yellow pages under clinics, or medical, or hot lines or something and I bet you can find a support line that can help.

Answer 3

Dealing with addictions are very hard. Part of the addiction is wanting to relapse into the habit again. The problem with addiction is that they work on the brain and you are unable to be without those chemicals or habits. Convey to your friends that you do not mean to be nasty, but your emotions are very raw, because of you are suffering emotionally. You are suffering because addictions provide a false sense of security that you have become accustomed to. You need to foster a healthy new and positive way of thinking. Get some exercise and never give up on life. You have many gifts and talents to share with the world, go out and show the world, you are a winner. I will pray for you and keep you in my thoughts.

Answer 4

Gosh you sound just like me, and yes I "cut" in the past. I know si all too well! I can tell you that I have not injured myself for three years now, yippie but I also need to tell you that the thought still crosses my mind. I have to fight with every fiber in my body at times and redirect big time. It's so scary to think that you can relap just like that. What I do is take a good long look at my scars, the ones that will never go away, the ones that litterally tell a story, a bad horrifying story of I remember when. Then after this I tell myself(self talk), no way in heck am I going to allow anyone to get me to the point where I will injure myself again. I do NOT think you are looking for attention for I know I hid it from all for many years BUT I eventually went too far and wound up in the hospital because I was too afraid of the unknown, death! I did this program called CBT, cognitive behavior therapy and I have to say that it helped. Marsha Linehan is the person who invented this(so to speak) but WE the SI's are the ones who made this type of therapy possible. Elastic bands and ice don't work, this I know , the only things that did work for me was to distant myself to all those who were negative in my life, alot of writing(poems) , redirecting, I would force myself to walk especially when I felt like SI-ing, having a list of people you can talk to, and mega therapy. Ok, this is alot but I was tired of hurting myself on top of everyone doing the same. Now I just pull away from those who feel like a threat to me and I turn up the radio (cd's) loud and sing until exhaustion sets in. None of this is easy but you can do it little by little,. Baby steps they call it! Hang in ther and try to find somethig, anything that can help you get through the next bout. You can do it, this I know.

Answer 5

Look, I've been there. I know how it feels. Maybe not your exact situation but close enough. Ask, how will it help? How will it make everything okay? I cut myself so often that my skin didn't have time to heal before it was open again. One day I seriously was holding the knife to my arm when I suddenly asked myself why the heck I was doing that to a good body that I was given. Sure I hurt. I hurt inside like heck. I wanted to die and honestly I still do. However I know I need to go on living until its my time to die. I don't know why but I'll die when its my time and I shouldn't cut that short until then and I shouldn't abuse my body when it does no good. Just look at it calmly and decide if that's what is best for you.

Answer 6

ok, first of all, don't do it. The fact that you are reaching out is proof enough that you know it would be the wrong thing to do. Perhaps you need a different medication? What are you on now? Maybe your psychiatrist needs to prescribe a higher dosage of what you are currently taking? Whatever you do, don't relapse...you have come so far in three weeks and do not need to start over. You may feel like you are losing those around you, but people who don't even know you care about you,l I am one of them.

Answer 7

first of all realize you are a wonderful person. You feel this need to let out your feelings about something that is bothering you or hurting you now or in the past. You have done a good thing to talk about it first. ask for help first. Now even if you do "relapse" you tried to take the first step. dont be hard on yourself. just start over tommorrow. But i really hope you dont do it. I will talk to you if you want. I have been in your same boat,almost, i never relapsed but i started to and i talked about it and so far it has worked. keep talking about it..YELL about it.

Answer 8

I too don't know what your addiction is but keep in touch with your Doctor and let hin know how you feel, when you seem to hit bottom. He can evaluate you and give you ahigher dose or change it, He could even add another type to go along with the one your taking now. Most of all don't give in ,hang tight, pray alot to God he's there for you. Remember he doesn't give you anymore that you can handle. I'm on meds too! and there was a light at the end for me . I take one day at a time, and meditate too! Please don't give up. I'll pray for you, its a tuff road, but you'll make it.

Answer 9

You do have control over your mind. Know that. You can change those negative thoughts to positive ones if you really want to. Just try it now. Think of things that are good, that you enjoy and that are healthy for you.

I suggest you bump up the counseling to once a week until you feel stronger. Ask your counselor for advice regarding controlling your thoughts.

Know that you are of value, are needed here on earth for a purpose. You just have to find out what that purpose is. What do you feel you are good at, what have you been drawn to? You need to focus on things like that. You can do this, I know you can.

Answer 10

http://www.sisupport.org/
http://www.crazymeds.org/supportCut.htm
here are a couple of sites for support. But I suppose it may not be helpful in a way...and might want to make you do it more.
I would suggest getting a pad and pen and just start writing. Write and write and write and write and write. Write about anything. How you feel. objects in your room. Random thoughts etc....Don't stop writing until you are exhausted. Also...Music...nothing specific...just random. Not music that has any meaning to you...just "noise" it will help you get out of your own head. ....Try listening to your breathing...Just listen ....don't think...just listen to your own breath.
You feel low...what else comforts you? Your fav blanket...a certain pair of shoes...your PJ's....a book...ice cream.
Another idea....go in the kitchen..Bake a cake. bake brownies...cookies anything that needs your full attention.
I'm sorry you're feeling so low...it will pass though. it always does.
Your urge to SI is your usual way of relieving pain. Its OK to be with the pain sometimes...it wont kill you...it will suck for sure...but it wont kill you. just get through it moment by moment second by second...you will be OK...just make the choice.