what should i choose- loneliness or love?

Question

my 2 kids ( aged 13-17) are against me having a relationship with someone, even if i'm going to be here for them until they complete their education. should i choose loneliness for the rest of my life to stay next to my kids or try to be happy with someone who loves me?

Answer 1

beleive it or not, kids are in our life for a short time, a spouse is for life, don't push him out of your life because of the kids, they will be long gone and you will still be by your self. and besides do you think they will let you choose for them? I have been in this sitiation, you go for love, just make sure he is good to the kids,
P.S.Don't listen to those telling you to wait a year or so because of the kids, life it too short, it is not up to the kids how you live your life, count how many years it will be and they will be gone, and do you think they will ask you what they can do? sorry this is a sore spot for me, live your life, beleive me they will live theirs

Answer 2

This is a tough decision to make.I have been devorced for 6 years now and never got involved in a relationship with anybody else after my exwife.I went out with a few lady friends but no intentions of having any relationship issuses.My kids decided to live with me after our devorce and that is what made my mind up for me.I wanted to give them as much attention as needed and be the best dad possible.I dont think I could have been a devoted father with a new woman around I seen how they reacted to a new step father and it was'nt a healthy mix.I would rather be alone and lonely than be with someone and neglect my first responsiblity

Answer 3

Well Samantha, This is a very tough question which you have there...............
First of all try to talk to ur children about this, and understand why they fell that you should not have this relationship.Know what their problem might be,Talk to them, It'll solve a lot of mis-understandings.
You always cannot think abt ur Children also,Because you have a life of ur own. I too had the same problem,with my mother.But when we sat down and spoke abt it, It solved a lot of things.
Assure them that you'll always be there for them,even after this relationship. That all it takes, The only reason they might oppose this relationship, Is that they may feel INSECURE. Just talk to them..............

Answer 4

This is very difficult.

I know someone going through this same thing.

The thing is, do your children give up their friends for you? Do they stay home with you & give you companionship? Of course, they do what' s good for them - and rightfully so.

And you have to do the same. Speak to the kids, and try to reassure them that they will always be important to you. If necessary, take them for counselling.

Love doesn't come around that frequently. I say if he is a good man who is good to you and to them, if he is emotionally and financially stable and of good moral character, then grab it & dont' let it go, but don't forget your children in the process.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Maybe you should hold off on the dating if they are verbally expressing they are against it.

It doesn't mean that you have to do it forever, they will one day be gone forever and you'll be begging them to give you a phone call!'

Just hold off for another year, then ask them again, tell them how you feel about it.

Perhaps you should wait a couple of years, when your youngest starts dating,
your problems with dating and getting out soon too will subside.
trust me. wait a couple of years and then do it. It's worth it to be "lonely",
instead, why don't you enjoy the last remaining years of having your children around before they fly the nest?

Answer 6

My friend is 16, and she went through a similar thing. Her mother, and her step-father went through a nasty divorce. She predicted the whole thing. Just think back on previous decisions and experiences. Also inquire of your children their reasoning. Don't get mad at them if they bring up poor decisions you may have made in the past regarding men. Listen to them.

Answer 7

...And they *should* be against you having a relationship with anyone other than them. You had them, you owe it to them to make them #1 in your life until they are 18 years old. It's a hard pill to swallow, but if you want to do the right thing, no dating until that time.

Answer 8

while i replaced into youthful, I did decide for love and poverty...and that i think if I had it to do as quickly as greater...i think i might. We did no longer have plenty, yet we've been satisfied...yet years later, the entire element fell aside...and that i replaced into left with the poverty...yet no longer the affection. the moral to the tale? i replaced into very, very naive. Love and wealth are actually not jointly unique...anymore than Love and poverty. I see no factor to wealth with out love...and that i see no factor to poverty under any circumstances. there's a center floor.

Answer 9

ask your kids to find a motherly love from the one who loves you, your kids are teenagers and they have the tendency to have such a behaviour, but there is nothing such as love, loneliness will only bring you frustration. so go for the one who loves you.

Answer 10

have a good talk with them and make them realize that if they truly care and love for you, they should not stop you from seeking your own future happiness.