how do I tell my Catholic parents that I was sexually abused?

Question

I ended a relationship back in june because my boyfriend was sexually abusing me, rape never occured thank God. I never told my parents but I know I should. I've talked to an adult I trust and Im working on moving past what has happend, my problem is I still can't tell my parents. I feel as if they would be ashamed dissapointed, upset, angry, and hurt and I don't know if they'd be able to understand why i didn't tell them and why I didn't end it sooner. They are good people but very strong in their faith and sometimes rather stubborn headed. Any ideas on how I could address this and talk with them about it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for you help and I am not looking for pity, just advice. Thank you again and God bless.

Answer 1

Tell your parents you broke up because you were pressured into doing sexual things you didn't want to do. It will make him look like the bad guy. If your parents love you (it sounds like they do) they will be supportive and want to protect you, not be ashamed or dissapointed. Continuing to talk to loved ones, including your parents, will help you move past this and improve your self esteem. Don't let anyone treat you like that again, it isn't worth it.

Answer 2

The best way is just to tell them straight. They shouldnt judge u for not telling them sooner and should be understanding because it's hard for a person to tell someone about something bad like that. They're scared, embarassed, etc. But i dont know your parents, but this is the best thing to do. My girlfriend went through the same thing, it's best just to get it out there so this guy doesnt get away with it. If they pull the "why didnt u tell us sooner?" card, just say cus u were scared and ask them if they could please respect and understand that. Doing what the above person said to do is the worst thing u could possibly do. If u let them get away with it, they will keep doing it to other people and that is selfish of u. U have to bring this guy to justice. hope i helped!

Answer 3

You need to just sit down and have a talk with your parents. Tell them you really need to talk to them about something. Tell them that it isn't good and you need their help to understand some things. Your parents won't be ashamed of you or disappointed about you. They will get angry though, but you need to understand that you are their daughter and someone has done you wrong. They love you and want to only protect you. Tell them you was scared to end things with this boy and tell them you want their advice on how to deal with all of what happened. Like I said, they might get mad at first mainly at this boy and a little bit at you for not breaking things off with this boy sooner, but tell them you need their help in understanding why and that you need their love and support. They will come around. You need to tell them though to get it out in the open and off of your chest so you will not feel guilty about things you had no control over. Good luck and I will be thinking about you.I have been raped and it was the hardest thing I ever had to deal with at that time. My parents was more hurt because I got hurt. Give your parents a chance to help you.

Answer 4

Ok here is the Deal!

First what is abuse if not rape?

Secondly- Write a letter and make a plan to stay at a friends house for the weekend!

Tell them everything and tell them how hard its been for you to gather the courage to tell them about it.

give them details about the incident, and make sure to mention at the end of the letter that you would preferr not to talk to them until monday evening after school,

Reason being

1. You want to give them time to get over their anger or disappointment.
2. You also need time to deal with telling them such a big thing.
3. Time heals all wounds so ask them to please take their time to thouroughly think it through and talk to other people for advise if they need it and prepare.
4. tell them you love them and that your hoping they will support you


Most important thing is Do NOT tell them who the guy is - they will want to KILL him and end up in jail or something.

Now as far as sex goes, its not easy for parents to deal with this because it means more to them. growing up, change, its a slow process. Give them time to deal.

And if at all possible maybe you could ask your adult friend to be there with them when they open the letter.

Answer 5

dear catholic
1st pray and ask god for guidance....then practice saying what's on your mind while looking in the mirror...build some confidence.....it's things like this that you need to learn not to be afraid ...how will you make it in the real world....if you don't learn to be strong and brave...after all what's the worst that can happen..? there will be many things that will happen in life that we all need to have somebody we could trust and tell what's going on in our life....that's what our parents are there for.....they know, they've problably may have gone through or known somebody that this has happened to.....last but not least...if you can;t muster up the courage at this time, try to write a letter to them and do it that way........your in my prayers......god bless you

Answer 6

you easily could desire to do some frustrating examine formerly asking questions like this. Your question incorporates fake generalizations, anti-church schedule, and in basic terms basic errors. as quickly as back: pedophilia and homosexuality have no longer something to do with one yet another. maximum pedophiles are no longer gay of their on a daily basis lives They get off on a skill holiday regarding severe and painful dominance of young toddlers. no longer in basic terms sexual Very, very few clergymen are pedophiliacs. The figures of boys/ladies as sufferers are skewed with the help of that actuality that boys/adult males purchase into the shame factor and could no longer admit to others that they have got been sufferers till their existence is in a shambles. Are some clergymen gay? definite, some. Which to my recommendations is wonderful.

Answer 7

This may come as a surprise but sexual abuse has nothing to do with religion period. This could have happened to anyone of any religion so, write a letter to mom ouylining your ordeal, she will tell dad and before you know it they will be talking to you about.

Answer 8

In all honesty and form personal experience with these kind of people and situations I wouldnt tell them, just try to move on as best you can. Its a hard thing but seriously it will get out because they will feel they need to confide in someone as well and then you will be embarassed as well as hurt, and they will be ashamed hun and will try to go after the guy. not good stuff. just pray.

Answer 9

okay what you need to do is tell them to their face and you should stll tell your parents if you don't say anything then these things will keep happening to you and you don't want these things to happen to you ...hey don't be afraid to tell anyone because if you tell them youwill probally feel a lot better and you will feel like a weight has been pulled off your shoulers so you need to tell sumone and i wish you the best of luck bye

Answer 10

well, i wasnt going to answer because all of my advise has already been posted, but i was really mad how ignorant those guys were about sexual abuse. sexual abuse is ANY abuse that is sexual in nature, including but not limited to unwanted pressure to have sex, verbal abuse that is sexual in nature, or any unwanted touching that is sexual.

yeah, needed to make that point, it just goes to show how bad our society is, in general, at educating men on what is inappropriate and what isnt