She is driving me nuts with the pity parties. I just got reemed by my husband for not talking on the phone to her. I guess she got mad and went into a tantrum about how I'm avoiding her and how she does so much for us. I am a full-time student, a mom of two boys, and I work part-time in a law office. I can't do everything when she needs me to.
She is one of those women that wants to talk for an hour or two and you can drop her all the hints you want that you need to get something done, but she just keeps talking. I am BUSY and I can't always cater to her needs. Now she has caused an argument between my husband and me. I can't take this anymore. Is there anything I can tell her that will get her to chill out?
Oh yeah, I didn't talk to her right then, because I was in the middle of doing some homework. Excuse me for trying to get some work done. Please help!!!!
2006-10-28 14:46:05 · 14 answers · asked by batgirl10478 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is an ageless problem. I feel for you dear, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. I think if you talk to your husband a little later and explain how busy you have been (he should have already noticed), and let him know that if he thinks you should take responsibility for his mothers needs also he will have to take a number of the chores and responsibilities you are now attending to on his list of things to do. Tell his mother that you are very grateful for the help she has given to you and how much you love her son, and maybe let her know that if your grades and studies wern't so very taxing right now that spending more time with her would be a refreshing break, but that you are having a bit of a time just fitting time for what you must get done into the short 24 hour days . I think if your husband wants his mother to talk to someone let him help her solve her problems. I believe he wants you to talk to her cause he doesn't want to. Suggest to him that maybe he should run over and visit her so you can get some homework done, and the kids would love to seee grandma. I may be detecting a bit of disfunction in the husbands side of this family. DO NOT let them put this on you. if the disfunction is coming from that side suggest that she find a suitable therapist, and let hubby know that maybe if he is thinking she needs more attention that he give her some of his time you are busy enough. Good luck hon, i don't envy you .
2006-10-28 15:06:48 · answer #1 · answered by sosueme534 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be as sweet as sugar to her. Tell her how much you appreciate everything she does to help you, AND you know that she is really understanding of how busy you are these days. You hardly have time to get a hair cut or go grocery shopping so time on the phone is a luxury you just can't manage right now. BUT as soon as your schedule gets more manageable you will get together for a looonnng chat. How's that?
2006-10-28 14:51:36 · answer #2 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice that your mother in law likes you enough to want to spend hours on the phone with you. Even if it is talking about herself. You seem overwhelmed and unappreciated. Get your husband to take the calls from his mother. Or suggest he take on more of the family responsibilities so you have time to cater to his mother without neglecting other more important things.
2006-10-28 23:18:16 · answer #3 · answered by Jen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your mother-in-law that needs sorting out it's your husband. If he is so worried about his mother let HIM talk to her. He should be supportive of you not the opposite. I would talk to her though and explain calmly that although you would love to you cant talk for long as you have so much to do. Maybe she doesnt realise that you have so liottle time. She will either like it or lump it but at least you have explained why.
2006-10-28 14:51:14 · answer #4 · answered by dragonrider707 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In these sittuations beating around the bush wont work.. You will need be direct with her. Let your husband know exactly what you plan to tell her in fact tell her over the phone with him in the room so she can not exagerate to him later on. You must hit this problem face on or the stress and problems will be far grater in the future.
2006-10-28 14:51:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, your husband should know better than anyone how busy you are! He should explain to his mother what all you have on your plate & why you can't just drop everything at a moment's notice. If HE can't stand up for you on this, he is WRONG!!!!
2006-10-28 14:50:14 · answer #6 · answered by from HJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a callerID and do not reply the telephone. Best answer. I used to have a type of monster-in-legislation. Get rid of the husband and the monster-in-legislation went away. Voila! I have no idea why can we ought to have a mom out legislation. They are extra main issue than valued at it. What are you able to do when you are not able to manage the in legislation? Some Christian are the phoniest individuals on this planet.
2016-09-01 04:09:07 · answer #7 · answered by stufflebeam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she needs to stay out of your marriage. If she does favors for you and the family, stop accepting them if strings are attached. Your husband should be looking after her more if he can. She is his mother after all.
2006-10-28 15:05:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do would probally be to sit her down and tell her everything you have to do and promise that when you get a free moment you will call her. and do it
2006-10-28 14:49:57 · answer #9 · answered by conundrum_dragon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just try explaining her very calmly why you can't cater to all of her needs and that you have a very busy life.
2006-10-28 14:48:19 · answer #10 · answered by narcissa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋