Im sad and upset at my boyfriend and need advice..?

Question

Im 26 and have 2 kids by my so called boyfriend. We have been together off and on for 6 years. mostly on. we argue like any other couple but everytime we argue he tells me he doesnt love me and doesnt wanna be with me but then turns around and acts like my boyfriend. Im so confused. I have been talking about marriage forever, and just tonight he told me out of the blue that he will never marry me and sees no future with me and that its over. we live together and i love this man and thought he loved me, im good enough for him to have sex with but not to marry? he hurt me so bad tonight and i feel worthless....im asking if someone can give me some kind words of advice,,,?

I forgot the other day I told him to stop asking me for sex and get it somewhere else and he said he doesnt have to, that im his "house pu55y..I know it makes no difference but i just thought that was a horrible thing to say!!!

Answer 1

okay boo boo, you deserve so much better than that. that's what this type of me do. they're just a waste of time - and it's always up to the woman to be the strong one to get out of this type of dead end relationship. you can do it, move on, give yourself the right to find a nice man that would want to marry you and be kind to you children as well .good luck

Answer 2

boo boo: Reality is a harsh thing, most of the time. Remember: the ol' saying, "why buy the cow when the milk is free" ? To be more to the point, your boy "friend" is a self-centered jerk ! He wanted sex - got it for 6 years and now, wants no part of you nor his children. There is quite a message in all of this for YOU ! I believe, that you will have to send him packing. It's too bad the children will be in the middle of all this, (what else is new ?), and your boy "friend" hates commitment. Girls, ladies, women !!! Please watch out where you "park your car" - if you get what I mean. There are lots of jerks in this world, who do all the taking and expect the woman to do all the giving !!! This is why relationships break down. Not every guy who says "I love you", really does !!! Boo boo ... when you are on a dead "horse", you simply, have to get off. You have already made a mistake having sex with him and producing two beautiful children - why would you want to make a third mistake and be married to the Mr. Abandonment for? He's a loser - get rid of him or you will hearing him put you down for the remainder of the relationship. Good luck to ya !!!

Answer 3

Okay, this is going to be as short and detailed for you as I can make it. I honestly think that he is looking for something in life that doesn't involve you anymore and that the good times are over. He has 2 kids by you and for him not to be married to you, well that is something he comparts into his mind as stress. Because of the kids I think, your relationship or lack thereof is only going to be the same or get worse. I think you deserve better but one rule to have in mind is not having sex with a man who is not your husband. Why would you want to sell yourself short anymore than you have to this man and not have someone better for YOU and YOUR kids. He will always have a place in your heart I am sure, especially since he is the father, but I really suggest you do some soul searching as a single woman. As long as you live with this guy and don't find a way to take care of YOU and your KIDS needs, you will be miserable. Take my advice because I get this all the time. I only want to see successful women, NOT hurt women. I hope this is comforting and kind enough since I am a stranger. Have a good day.

Answer 4

First...

You're NOT worthless honey. He may be...

No matter what, you have to decide whether it's worth it to stay on that roller coaster ride. It's exciting I'm guessing, or you both wouldn't still be on it.

Unfortunately, I don't know nearly enough about your relationship to help very much...

I will say this though. You have two kids and if he can stop being so perfectly male for one second and realize that even if he can find someone else to have sex with, he has to know that you will always be the woman he chose to be the mother of his children. He just has to remember that he loved you enough for that to be true... Try and remember yourself those days before the kids and be a bit more of that woman if it's possible... He'll see the truth then...

Answer 5

I was in pretty much the same situation. I thought I could NOT live without this man.We had been together for 7 years and had one child. Never once did he mention marriage. One day after another fight I guess I had finally had enough and made him leave our home and as bad as it hurt me I would not let him return. I was upset for a little while but soon got over it. I did not deserve to be treated like that and neither do you. It may be painful for a while but you will move on to much better things as did I. That was the best thing I could have done for myself. It could be the best for you too!

Answer 6

Girl, I totally understand what it is that you are going through. I have known my so called boyfriend for 12 years, after breaking up the first year, we remained friends, and I lost touch one year. Needless to say for the last 6 years we have lived together raising our 5 year old son, and he has stated the obvious, that he will never marry me, and from time to time claims he does not love me. The advise that you need right now, is reassurance that you have GREAT SELF-WORTH, and go back to school, online if you have to, get you a degree, and make enough so you can support you and your two kids on your own...By means, I am half way through school. I am doing great. He has no idea, but then again who really cares if he knows. The point is---He has always done him, regardless of how you felt. NOW, THE TIME HAS COME FOR YOU TO DO YOU....IT IS SCARY, BUT WITH SUPPORT, YOU'LL DO IT. TIMING COULD NOT BE MORE PERFECT...I HAVE STARTED MAKING A FEW CHANGES ALREADY....NEED TO TALK SENT TO MY E-MAIL FOR MORE...........................

Answer 7

Girl! I gota tell you... you need a man that respects you and your kids. If he said to your face "I dan't love, I do not want to marry you, I dont want a furture with you" than he isnt worth your time. Ask him " do you really love me? Do you respect me in the same way I respect you?" and based on his answer (negitive or positive) leave him or give him another chance. Its hard to go out on your own and try and make it in the world and having a man helps, but its harder to do all that and have some man who you feel dosnt love you and only wants you for your bed, and you in it. There are some really great guys out there that are worth your time and will love and respect you and that you can love and respect in turn. They are hard to find but once you find them, you have the world. He might give you a great couple of nights but think of the future for you and your kids. Think if you left your kids with this man and they annoyed him, would he abuse them? Is he the kind of guy that you would want your kids to have for a father? Is he the kind of man that will hurt you if you get on his nerves? This guy sounds like a player and he just acts like your boyfriend to show off that he has a beautiful woman to sleep with every night and you deserve better than that. Take it from experence, he is not the guy for you if he can look you in the face and say "I dont love you" its not right. Girl, get yourdelf a man and enjoy your life, dont sit around with this sucker wasting your time. Best of luck to you, God bless and be safe.

Answer 8

Oh honey my heart goes out to you... Nothing is more hurtful than words like that. I am no expert but i should be on disfunctional men. He's being emotionally abusive to you. I suggest that at your age you realize that if someone can tell you that then maybe you should listen. There's no good reason for you to be with someone who feels that way or feels it's okay to talk to you in that manner even if he doesn't really feel that at all. Either way no woman who bares a man's children or under any circumstances should be with someone who doesn't see her as a potential life long partner. If he's not in your future there is someone else who will be happy to be. My advice cut your losses and leave.

Answer 9

First of all you are not worthless. You have two wonderful children to raise and I bet they love you to bits. Believe it or not a good loving relationship doesn't really include that much arguing. If he is actually telling you that he does not love you and will never marry you, then you need to find the courage to move on, not just for your sake but for the children's sake. Not that he wouldn't be able to see and love his own children, but you and your children deserve a loving, peaceful and caring environment. Being with a person that puts you down is very energy draining and what you need is someone who loves you for you. Take control of your own life you are worth it and so are your children.

Answer 10

you obviously need to get away from this jerk. he just totally disrespected you and seems to be using you just for sex. if he really cared about you he would NEVER say that to you and he would make the commitment awhile ago or atleast give you the heads up that he wants to get married. I know some guys say they're not ready however a lot of guys unfortunately use it as an excuse. You need to get rid of this guy becuase you're wasting your time and he's probably not suitable to be around your kids even if he is the dad.

Answer 11

Well, no one really likes getting ignored or dumped by their boyfriend. I understand it may be hard for you to say, "Good riddance!" and feel that you are better off being without a guy who grinds on another girl while you sit and watch. You were totally right for being upset...but what was the point in being upset? Really, you should have been the one to breakup with him. He obviously has no respect for you because instead of telling him to hit the road, you just got hurt feelings. You describe in you own exact wording, "we argue to much...hes not a piece of pie...tends to snap at me...terrible moodswings...we tend to clash." You obviously think that you are a loser if you felt that this relationship was worth staying in for 5 months. I think that he just did both of you a favor by ending it. Now in the future, please try to be more selective in the relationships you keep around.