Is it wrong to hate my mother and sister in law and want nothing more to do with them?

Question

They have always treated me and my daughter terribly. They are always comparing my sister in laws kids to my daughter, I also have a son who they treat like gold. I guess they dont like my daughter because she looks and acts more like me, where as my son looks more like his daddy and acts more like them. I know this sounds ridiculous, but they are always criticizing and ignoring my daughter and its beginning to piss me off. She is a wonderful child and is a little hyperactive but never really misbehaves in front of them. She has never been good enough and even though I tell her she is beautiful and smart she listens more to their negative remarks then what I tell her. It has really hurt her. Im beginning to feel like I shouldnt even bother taking her over there seeing as how she gets ignored or told that she isnt as good as the other kids. My sister in law is always making snood remarks about everything I say or do. She acts as though she is better than me and so does his mom

I know it seems like I am a bit childish but believe it or not I have always been nice to them and always held my tongue. Im normally not a mean person, but to see my daughter crying and wishing she was my neice because my neice is treated like the greatest child in the world and she's dirt, it just hurts me, not to mention they are both a witch to me, I dont even want anything to do with them anymore and I prefer my daughter not be in their life.

Answer 1

Mother in laws are hell! The sister in law seems a bit horrid too, If its hurting your daughters feelings then that is reason enough to get her out of there. Tell then that if they cant try to make her feel good about herself then she doesnt need that influence in her life. If they cant do it, then dont have them around dont take her round there, they will have only brought it on themselves

Answer 2

The best way in these situations is not to feed the demon that seems to be powering this person. Just try to focus on ther good side, everyone has a good side and whatever you do, keep confrontation to a minimun, don't fight back just remove yourself from the situation as much as you can but when you are in it, let it slide do they utter abuse? Good let them listen to their own words, it will deflate them. good luck. RE: Problems with my Mother in law and sister in law. Please...need advice.? Long story short. I have been with my husband since we were 15 years old. We are both now 30. We dated for 9 years and got married a year after being engaged. We just had our first child (a little girl) about 3 months ago. My Mother in Law and Sister in Law have always hated me for no reason. (truly) My husband has 3 other brothers an they do not talk to his mother or sister due to the trouble they have caused in their relationships. My husband and I have been to therapy together. We have a great relationship other than the fact that his mother and sister keep trying to break us up. Till this day! It has been 14 years. My question is...I don't act like this. Oh and btw this all started because since we have had the baby they have lost control of our lives. Meaning...that we are busy with the baby yet we still have them over at LEAST once a week. What do I do? Please give me advice. I am really torn over all this and have no where to turn. Thank you so much.

Answer 3

You don't mention your husband!
Where is he in the big picture of this family drama?

I understand how you feel - don't let them get to you.
Keep your daughter away from them - keep your contact
to a minimum and if your husband has to see (visit)
them, than let him go alone.
Your and your daughters sanity is more important than trying
to keep the in-laws happy. Which is almost impossible.
Christmas is just around the corner - don't go, if you are invited -
it is the worst possible time for family get-together.
The few presents your daughter would get are not worth it.
Invite some of your own family or just have a quiet Holiday
with just your husband, daughter.

Answer 4

I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. Try to get over the hate,but that doesn't mean you have to be around them. Why subject your self to their nonsense. I'm in a situation with my in laws also, it doesn't have allot to do with kids though. I stay away from all of them except my husbands parents, I will only see them if none of the other family members are there though. I have a huge problem with my sister in law too. I never try and stop my husband from going over, I don't care if he goes as long as he doesn't try to nag me about going. He already knows I won't go anyways.I think it is horrible the way they are treating your daughter. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

Hmm how about sabatoge your sister in law and her extereme pain in the bum daughter. Ok I'd seriously do that but that's because I'm still young but judging how they are treated you should do that to them. Most likely your sister in law has been saying false stuff about you to get your mother in law to hate you!!!!!
You need to show them whose boss
sooner or later your neice will catch on that your daughter's position isn't as worthy as hers so she'll bug your daughter too.
By then your daughter will be quite pissed and will start standing up for herself... so she;ll start to defend herself and that will serve them right

oh also you might want to rub it in your sister in law whenever they are being female dogs!!!!!!

don't just stand there and get bullied TAKE A STAND FOR YOURSELF

Also you could not visit them so much and when you do whenever they try to be mean to you shut them up right away
and back talking is totally allowed
Talk to your husband

Answer 6

Sounds like you are having a pretty strong response to the in law's behavior. Go with your gut. There's a line as to how much a person can take and they crossed it.

When you do interact with these folks try to do it one on one .... just grandma and not the sister in law or just sister in law and no grandma.

You can have Christmas with grandparents on Christmas Eve. No sister in law. Skip Christmas or just send your husband and son.
They owe your daughter an apology.

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with the feelings you are having for your in-laws, moms tend to be very protective to our children, we are like tigers protecting their cubs, so obviously you don't like someone who doesn't like your daughter and treats her bad. You should point it out to your husband, and every time you see them treating your daughter a way you didn't like , tell him so he can see for himself, may be he hasn't even noticed it, then you tell him to say something to his mom, or if you think you can handle a confrontation, say something to your in-law, explain her how her behavior is hurting your child. Or better yet, try to stay away from them and if they ask why you don't go over there anymore you can just tell them why.

Answer 8

You are right to feel that you should stop putting yourself and your daughter through this. However I would distance my son also, you would not want him to pick up this behavior from your in-laws. It is very important for you to explain to your husband how you feel and what you think it is doing to the children. Encourage him to continue seeing his mother, because she will not always be there for him to see. If they wish to visit you and the children allow it in your home, But remember that is your turf, don't allow the to run over you there.

Answer 9

How sad i have been there and i do know how you feel there is so, so mean people like that i did a lot better when i quit going around them, The stress went away and we all felt so much better. we did see each other around Christmas and other get
together but i all ways kept things in control and left as soon as i could you can love people but not like them

Answer 10

I tell you if that was my daughter, They both would get a piece of my mind and it would not be nice. I would let them know what they could kiss. Speak up for your child, I know I would.