Seriously. My self-esteem is nearing an all-time low because of this singular issue. I beat myself up over it continuously, making it even harder to find a date because girls dont like guys with low self-esteem. It's a nasty cycle. I'm sure that I am a loser, but I want to know how many people agree with me.
2006-10-28 12:14:33 · 14 answers · asked by SimAlex 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Before you psychoanalyze yourself to death, you're not alone in this. People have a tendency to not be entirely truthful about their situations. Maybe people aren't dating as much as they say.
I was in your same shoes several years ago. In fact, myself and three of my best friends were singing this same song. We were smart, employed, self-sufficient, and none of us could remember the last time we had a real date. No, I'm not talking about a "hook up", but a REAL date. You know...you go to dinner, a movie, some outing where you have an opportunity to get to know the other person and see how things go from there. One of the things I discovered during this time is that I wasn't willing to compromise my standards just to have a date or attention from a guy.
That said, stop punishing yourself. You're right, women do pick up on that vibe pretty quickly. Talk to a professional who can give you tools to help you think differently about yourself. You need to be happy with yourself, the rest will follow. Find hobbies and activities that are interesting to you, not for the purpose of finding a date. What will happen is that you'll find people with similar interests. You'll enjoy yourself, and won't be so preoccupied with dating or your self-esteem. You'll be in a comfortable enviornment where everyone has the same interests, so don't be surprised if dating opportunities develop from that.
Shift the focus to your own happiness and the world will be a better place.
2006-10-28 12:26:28 · answer #1 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you haven't dated in 6 years does not qualify you to be a "loser". Were you in school? Are you smart? Did you get a degree and are you now active in a profession? You have self esteem issues just for the fact you are on the internet asking us to rate if you are a loser and WE DONT KNOW YOU. It is WRONG for you to judge yourself solely on how many dates you had in the past. But 24 is young, and your are obviously ready for some serious dating, so go to it!!! If you lack the self confidence to ask someone out, you may want to see a psychologist who can address your self esteem issues to get you back on track and out on a date, and ps girls like sensitive guys.
2006-10-28 12:23:01 · answer #2 · answered by mac 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU ARE NOT A LOSER. You sound like a nice young man who needs to find a nice young woman. My daughter who is 21 hasn't dated in two years because she was really hurt in her last relationship and chose to graduate college and get her masters. She has all the time in the world as you do. I'm sure you are a great guy and some nice woman will come along eventually and really appreciate the fact that you are.
2006-10-28 12:23:12 · answer #3 · answered by goodbye 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your looking for pity your all screwd up you should be asking how can i break this 6 month dry spell? I say look in the mirror if a little change is needed or sit down write your good qualities down and forget the neg.just focus on enhancing what you do have going for you. A women is just like a guy in many ways there out looking too and just as nervous. Yes its wrong!by the way.
2006-10-28 12:26:08 · answer #4 · answered by big pappa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I highly doubt you're a loser. Chances are you're shy, don't put off 'the vibe', or don't flirt enough. Perhaps you're always busy. Look at the qualities that you DO have (and you do have them, because no one is without a good quality) that would make someone want to date you - for example, what you're interested in, your sense of humor, how nice you are to others, etc. How often do you put yourself 'out there'?
2006-10-28 12:22:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think youre not a loser and that it is really sweet but you make yourself sound way too despreate..try asking a girl out or talk to a girl and hint a little or flirt alittle to tell her you want to go on a date..but you should at least try to like the person you are asking out because the you wont try as hard to win her heart.
2006-10-28 12:21:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
loser? hun let me tell you this, dating alot of people and having worthless s*x that only hurts people in the end is being a loser, dont be so hard on yourself i bet you are just taking your time and looking for the right girl that will make you as happy as you make her..good luck and smile for me!
2006-10-28 12:18:48 · answer #7 · answered by crazylady1193 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I'll say that qualifies you as a loser, a big time loser. And you Toto if you are reading this, he is not a hero, and I'm sure you are a loser 2.
2006-10-28 12:18:02 · answer #8 · answered by Jorge S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know the feeling man. Just think of it this way. This 6-year hiatus will just make you appreciate the next woman all the more.
2006-10-28 12:17:10 · answer #9 · answered by chezmoi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. Who really gives a sh. If you're a guy, women will like you. Look forward instead of backwards.
2006-10-28 12:21:22 · answer #10 · answered by Nep 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋