My family members are "toxic" people. My depression gets worse when I am around my mother and sister.

Question

Sometimes I hate my sister so much that I wish I was an only child. She makes me feel so bad about things that I've said or done, but she does the same things and I don't give her grief about it? I just can't stand her. I wish I could just block her out of my life!!!

Answer 1

If you are an adult you have the choice of avoiding your mother and sister for awhile. You could write your sis a letter telling her you need to put some distance in the relationship - at least temporarily- for your own mental health. Maybe do the same with your mom. Then in a month or 2- try seeing them again. Possibly the way you relate to them will have changed- this will cause them to respond differently to you. Consider family counseling.

If you are not an adult your choices are more limited. Talk to a school counselor or another trusted adullt. Maybe they can arrange a conference with your mom, sister and yourself. Or at least they can advise you on how to relate to them in a way that causes you less pain.

In either case remember the words of Eleanor Roosevelt- "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Answer 2

Well you really need to tell them how you feel, and I mean not in a yelling and screaming way. Write them a letter if you think that helps. Make sure you tell them you are dead serious about your feelings.

If they won't discuss this with you and work to help you then just leave. Who cares if you are underage. Just don't go on the street. Go stay at a friend's house for a few days if you have a good friend and their mom will let you. Talk to your school counsellor too. Let them handle the situation with your mother. Often they can get through where you can't, because your mother will have to listen when it's coming from an outside authority.

Siblings can be a royal pain in the butt and it's your mom's job to make sure you guys relate in a healthy fashion or otherwise discipline you both accordingly. I don't allow that kind of teasing and taunting to go on and demand that everyone have respect for one another. Just because you are different doesn't mean you have to kill one another!!! It will get better. Try to do as much outside of the house as you can, like clubs, homework at a friends, find a job...anything that gets you out of their hair and focused on positive things for you.

Answer 3

I feel for you! Sometimes negativity can run rampant and affect everyone that is nearby.Because she is hurtful to you, you now resent her.I'm sure you don't truly hate her or want her gone. You simply want the negative words to stop. I had the same kind of relationship with my Mom years ago. and I stopped it and you can also. Be firm and be direct.When anyone says anything mean look them straight in the eye and say "that was a mean thing to say" Then say," I could say something mean,to retaliate, but instead I will walk away knowing I still love you even when you are being mean" It is very difficult to be mean to someone that takes the higher ground. Mean people say mean things to make us react. If we don't react the way they want, it loses the appeal,and they eventually stop. By the way, my Mom and I are very close and have a lot of respect for each other now. Just remember to hold your ground and never lose your calm or it won't work. Good luck

Answer 4

There is a really good book out there, that I used for my "toxic" situation called "Toxic Parents: Overcoming their hurtful legacy and reclaiming your life" by Dr. Susan Foward.

Hurtful situations and happenings throughout ones life created by "loved ones" can damage your life. I know, my mother tried to do it for me. I don't know if it was intentional, however it left a giant scar that festered and took a very long time to heal. Just remember you didn't ask to be born to these family members. I sought therapy, and one huge assignment was to write a letter to my mother. At first, I hesitated to take on this project, but soon after starting, the words just flowed. For once, I was allowed and free to say what "I" wanted to say. Cuss words found their way into the letter, somehow that helped. I felt she deserved it and it was appropriate. My mother did not live in my city at the time, so the letter was never given to her. But it really helped me proceed with my life somehow. As for your sister, you could do the "letter" thing too.

It took years to mend the relationship with my mom, and although ok now and for the most part get along, I sometimes still tread on hot coals. For me, I had to let the past go. I know you are at odds with your sister, and that is in the present, but therapy may be your route to go.

Best of luck.

Answer 5

Nope, mom's been useless now for over ten years, very last information I were given became from a letter from 2003. you are able to wish to split up those astounding words of understanding out of your mom and submit them to Reader's Digest for some money. i'm particular she does not ideas, considering that she became going to deliver you money...

Answer 6

Have you considered therapy for yourself.

You will always have a sister and mom, the key to this situation is changing how you are feeling and not reacting to them.

This can be done if you work on it.

good luck

Answer 7

well don't do anything drastic i know how you feel trust me um i know you don't want to but try to see someone our talk to someone to help and when they get around you and they start to make you mad just go some were else trust me i really know how to feel well i if you need any help email me at [e-mail]
GOOD LUCK. Casey

Answer 8

survival hun survival
i told my family that they wernt my real family and to get out of my life,,,it may be true,,,or wishful thinking,,,either way,,i cant deal with them anymore

Answer 9

try avoiding them if they ask why jus tell them you need your space or you might regret doing something