My daughter received an invitation to a baby shower. Included was a list of suggested gift items, including for the parents-to-be (spa, dinner certificates) and large items (strollers and a rocker?).
And what really made me gasped was noted on the invitatation "to keep the cost down, please bring a food and drink item-the cake will be provided).
Fortunately my daughter went back to school and can't go to this shower.
Isn't this being a bit odd?
2006-10-28 11:40:37 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
cbooth151,
This question pertains to a baby shower only, but I have seen and received wedding shower invites with just as much bad etiquette.
2006-11-01 08:22:19 · update #1
It is TACKY for anyone to suggest the type of gift to purchase for the expectant parents. I think it's okay to let people know where the couple has registered for baby gifts if they have done so. I think it's also tacky to ask people to bring food to a baby shower. It's not a pot-luck dinner or a family barbeque for gosh sakes... It's especially tacky to say right on the invitation "to keep the cost down..." For a shower, all most people expect is a little cake and punch anyway.
2006-10-28 11:51:56 · answer #1 · answered by Suzanne 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I find it a bit odd too. Most of the time the couple registars at a department store and you can go in and buy something on the list. Giving a list for the parents-to-be I feel is inappropriate. It is not a shower for them but for the baby. Asking for spa and dinner certificates is very uncommon and ridiculous.
Bringing your own food is weird too, it seems the couple wants everyone to spend money on them and whoever is hosting the shower is not wanting to spend any money. I would be embarrassed if I was related to the couple. I would send a card and put on it to keep cost down I am only sending a card and a store advertisement you can chose what you want and go buy it yourself. I know this is mean but the proper etiquette is for a family memeber or friend to host the shower and pay for the food, drinks etc.
2006-10-28 11:56:02 · answer #2 · answered by cab 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. The shower is for supplying the baby with what it needs, not stuff for the parents. I've never been to a shower where they served food either. It's usually a cake and punch. If your daughter had been available I would have suggested that she bring whatever gift she chose and could afford or even skip the shower and give the couple a baby gift at a later time.
2006-10-28 14:51:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is totally obnoxious!! Good thing she couldn't go. After receiving an invitation like that I would have to really reconsider my friendship with whoever send that out. I thought that showers were to celebrate either a birth or wedding with friends and family.. and you should be grateful for no matter what you get. I totally support the use of registries - but as a suggestion not as a guideline. Who ever thought that this was acceptable to send to their guests should really be told how despicable it came off. And what an insult that there wont even be food available - just terrible.
2006-10-28 12:24:48 · answer #4 · answered by !?!?! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think people get so freaking carried away these days with showers. If a shower is being thrown for the guest of honor, nobody but the host should have to supply food or drink. I think bringing a gift that YOU pick out would be just fine.
2006-10-28 18:24:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my husband's aunt. They had a party and not only did you have to pay 23 dollars per person for BBQ food from a restaurant, you had to bring a dessert, there were no beverages and they kept all of the leftovers. They had enough food for 4 people for a week after that party. Some people are so rude that it's unbelievable.
The people who hosted that shower went way over the line of cheapness.
2006-10-28 14:21:41 · answer #6 · answered by DeborahDel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The list of suggestions for a gift isn't so bad. They are just suggestions after all. Presents for the parents is a no-no. But telling you to bring food is ridiculous. Just for spite I would go but not bring food, saying I thought it was a joke because nobody could possibly be that ignorant. For God's sake, how much does a cake & a pot of coffee cost?
2006-10-28 19:28:36 · answer #7 · answered by ebonyruffles 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the large item gifts isn't odd, it gives people a chance to pool their money to buy one gift. The bring food and drink is very odd. Also, the gift certificates for spa & dinner out is just plain tacky.
2006-10-28 12:07:54 · answer #8 · answered by njyecats 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm yes that did seem a bit odd to me as well.
But then again how well does your daughter know these people? Are all going to the shower very very good friends? If so, then they may have discussed before hand finical problems they were having.
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good luck!
2006-10-28 11:51:55 · answer #9 · answered by Debbie M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not only is it odd, but it is also rude. I think that baby showers should be a celebration of a new life but instead people have turned them into a gimme party!
2006-10-28 13:32:44 · answer #10 · answered by Charlee's Mama 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋