Integrating an adopted child into the family?

Question

I am thinking about adopting and have 2 biological children. What ways could I help this child feel like part of the family and not too different. I would love them and treat them as I do the other children.

Answer 1

Try for a younger child who has gone through less physical and mental problems due to upbringing. I would start off as a foster parent who will eventually adopt. This way the child grows with your family.

Answer 2

It's not clear from your question what your motivation is for adopting. Nor do you say how old your biological children are.

Instead of foster care, I suggest respite care--which is where you act as a substitute foster care parent for a few days at a time. Moreover, I would not adopt anything other than an infant if you have young children. If you are looking at adopting an older child I would wait until your biological children are at least teens and probably in college.

I have two adopted children that I got at ages 15 and 9. They do as well as I suspect any children could do who have been through what they have been through. I love them and they're tremendous fun. But they are a challenge, and if I had one or more well adjusted biological children I think I would very much resent the stress that these kids would almost certainly put on that child.

And they would resent a child they had to call "brother" or "sister" who made life look effortless. Six+ years difference in age however, will solve most problems.