How normal is it for the guy to want to have sex with his girlfriend?

Question

I am seeing a guy who obviously likes me because he spends hours with me, thinking about me, and shows in so many ways that he cares. He is really a sweetheart. One thing that keeps bothering me is that he is really sexually attracted to me and I don't know why but that disturbs me. He told me he was not there only for the sex, and he would actually be there even if there was no sex. But why should he want to have sex? Why is he so lusty but I am not? I am so confused...

BTW we're both past high school so we're not too young.

To JD_22's question, I don't know why I am so frigid. Maybe it's because I'm still a virgin and want to remain so for some more time. May be it's because my boyfriend is in my opinion charming and very good looking while I am about average. May be I think I'm not good enough for him or may be I wonder why he likes me at all.

Answer 1

guys are always thinking about sex its part of their life

Answer 2

First think of this. Are YOU sexually attracted to him? if not, that could be the main reason why your mind is balking at the thought of being with him sexually. Step back for a bit and look at your feelings towards him. is this the first time you would be having sex with someone? if you are sexually attracted to him, and are still a virgin, it could just be that you are scared of going the whole way when you've never done something like that before. it sounds like hes really supportive, and will accept you either way. just take your time. if you want things to work out sexually between you, i have no doubt they will, and if you find you aren't attracted to him like that, then maybe you should think about telling him in as gentle a way as possible. all my best luck!

Answer 3

Yes, it's normal for guys to want to have sex... with anyone they can.

Seriously, guys are a bit different. Most gals need a little more of a connection or a spark,

In this case - it sounds like this guy is nuts about you. Are you crazy about him? Unfortunately, just because someone is nuts about you doesn't always mean that you feel the same way. It's always a bummer to find someone who is sweet and kind - who can be a friend but there's just no "spark". If you don't feel attracted to him maybe it's time to take a step back? Are there people that you think about or see that make you feel lusty?

Just some food for thought :-)

Answer 4

"Why is he so lusty but I am not?"
The key question here is why are you not?

Physical chemistry isn't the most important thing in a relationship, but it IS important. Do you kiss, hug, cuddle, touch, fool around? Sex can't just happen, you have to build up to it and get comfortable with each other physically. There is also a big difference between not wanting to at all, and just feeling that you are not ready YET. Figure out exactly what you feel about it and just talk about it with him. Good luck sister :)

Answer 5

Because the mens hormones are going crazy when he's younger. Your won't go that crazy until your 30...God's little cruel joke. Yes it's absolutely normal. actually most women get the urge to lose their virginity as a teen, but that isn't a necessarily true for every one. But yes those are normal in any guy. It's simply an instinctive thing a"keep the race going" thing. yea I know women say men are pigs, they are horndogs, disgusting etc. etc. But we didn't ask for these feelings, and women will never know just like men will never know what it's like to give girth, or anything that is distinctively for women. Same goes for women. It's a hard thing to fight, because they are strong urges...but there is a name for guys that can't actually control their urges....they're called rapists. Have you ever heard of even the horniest of women..even psychos that have raped a guy? No, and you never will.

Answer 6

Would like to ask, just how much do you really love this girl? Is she mad for you? Girls will do and say anything to keep the one they truly love from leaving them. Working in women's clinics, girls are lured into situations like this to please and find out later they get depressed, physically sick and even suicidal. I don't see how acting out "dreams" or "visions" of arousal into a real life situation helps any couple's growth in love and caring for one another. Going further, it can become an addiction. Yes, sex can become so intense for a guy for porno, masturbation, even movies and watching other couples, they can no longer have a one on one relationship with their wife, girl friend or intended, nor do they want to "return" to the higher level of consciousness that requires restraint from the animistic desires to form a more mature and lasting love. Addiction can start like this and women have a tendency NOT to want to share the person they love with another and get so tangled and mixed up, they end up on drugs, booze and even go off and start having affairs of their own to feel needed by one person alone. Addiction kind of clouds the mind, leaving no room for anything or anyone else other than the "Drug of Choice" --- whatever it is we addicts use to soothe ourselves, act out our fantasies, strain our needs for satisfaction to the point we kill the love we wanted originally. To soothe ourselves, we become FIRST and everyone else is second in our lives--I feel bad, hurt, lonely, scared, unloved, worried, etc. and this object (be it alcohol, drugs, food, sex, shopping, gambling, etc.) makes me feel better, and the more I do, the more I want, and the more I want the more I need to get that "high" feeling again .... makes us feel better ... but will guilt hit? If we try to go back to the basics, keep our desires of acting out to an expression of a real love between two people, the remorse we might feel is shortlived and even if we have promised to not get this involved again, it doesn't work. Where is there room in all this for thinking about others, especially your girl and maybe the parent of your child? Do you really think that a lasting relationship that is so unique, like the meeting of the minds as a soulmate can be shared into becoming a three-ring circus? How much are you helping yourself or your girl friend mature or learn to grow in her own life and desires as a real human being? Love is a paradox. Many paradoxes, in fact. It is the most altruistic and the most selfish of human emotions. The most giving and the most fulfilling. The most spiritual and the most physical. The most natural and the most irrational. The source of our deepest pleasures and our deepest agonies.

Answer 7

I think with most folks it is VERY "normal" for a couple to want to have sex together.

If you don't, that's fine too - but it might be that you and your present boyfriend are not ideally suited - if you have a low sex drive and he has a high one it is either going to result in one or both of you feeling frustrated.

Answer 8

You're an adult and you can't understand why someone wants to have sex with you? Haven't you ever experienced sexual attraction? Become aroused when someone wants to touch you?

Maybe you just like him as a friend?

Answer 9

Being sexually attracted to your partner is very normal, and dear all men want to have sex! If you are not intersted in having sex though don't its your right to make that choice

Answer 10

I think the better question is... Why are you so frigid?

An adult male or female wanting to have sex with someone they're with is normal.

Answer 11

its not clear if you are still a virgin or not but why dont you try talking to him about this issue...sex is a normal and healthy thing to happen in a relationship.....

dont be embarrassed by how you feel. if you are not ready to move things forward then dont......he will wait until you are ready if he is truely in love with you!

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