First He doesn't treat my mom as an equal,He puts himself in front of his family and he won't get a job even though he can work.Also he hogs the FAMILY television.He also pushes me toward his family and tries to bring me away from my mom's.What do you think?
2006-10-28 08:40:46 · 16 answers · asked by mel_98311 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes You Have every right to hate your dad, especially if he is this pompous and arrogant. If your Dad does not reat you or your family right, then don't acknowledge him. Blood related or not if somone does not respect you in any way shape or form you can just write them out of your life. Looks like your dad is not being a real man. Despite the fact your dad seems like a horrid person, you can always have a stronger relationship with your mom. Yes moms are the best, and they make greater parents than dads. If your parents are struggling, instead of divorcing, let them get a legal separation. That way it won't be as time consuming, and it will force your dad to work, and make monthly payments to support you and your mom. He is not being fair whatsoever , stand up for yourself, fight for your right. Take care of yourself and your mom.
2006-10-28 08:57:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anthony D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to dislike your father. You don't have to love your parents, or even like them. Treat him with respect while you're in his household, and then get out of there. The one thing you wrote about pushing you towards his family really bugs me though. I have HORRIBLE in-laws, and my husband I refuse to let our son see them, since they are extremely nasty people. This is the only situation in where I would say it's okay to push one side of the family away. Your dad most likely has a problem with your mom's family, but if your MOM doesn't have a problem with her family as well, it's not okay for him to do this. Have you tried talking to him about what he's doing and how it makes you feel? No matter what your age, you don't have to deal with that. Try talking to him, and if that doesn't work, speak with your mom about it. If he's the only one in the family that has a problem with your mom's side of the family, then I'm guessing her family is not the problem - it's your dad. Good luck with this, and remember, you don't have to feel guilty for disliking your father right now. There are times in life when we can't stand our parents, and I'm sure you'll have a whole ton of those moments in your lifetime!
2006-10-28 17:55:08 · answer #2 · answered by Megan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a rather wrongly asked question, really, I'd say. If you hate, you hate. Or more, maybe, strongly dislike certain aspects of him. He certainly has no right to do the such that you've mentioned, but you're not doing the right THING by keeping quiet/venting out on here. You should be in your room, thinking how to bring up the subject to him gently yet very firmly, taking a deep breath (or two) if you need to and march up to him and let it all out. 'Cause if you keep it all bottled up now it's just going to build up, up, up until one day there's one big "BOOM!" Explosion. You blow up. You get angry, maybe even furious, and say things you may not actually think when more sober. So, you just have to talk. That's all there is to it. I know it may seem like the hardest thing ever in the moment, believe me, I've had to give several important talks myself... but you have to. It's a wonderful relief.
Well, all I can wish you is my best of luck, for you to stay calm for only then will he listen to you best and take care. You and your family.
2006-10-28 16:13:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear mel 983,
We do not get a chance to choose our dads. However, I hope that you won't let bitterness toward your dad ruin your life. No, we do not have a right to hate our dad, if you are going to follow the Bible. I don't know if you have a Bible (youcan get one at the library), but read the Book of 1 Samuel about David. He was a shepherd boy whom God loved. He had older brothers that kinda pushed him aside. But God was with him and worked mightily in his life. David killed a giant that everyone else (even his older brothers) were afraid of. God made David to be one of the greatest kings of Israel. He (David) loved the Lord and God used him to overcome many of Israel's enemies.
There was another young man in the Bible named Joseph. All his brothers hated him and actually sold him into slavery. He became a slave in Egypt but God was with him. God blessed Joseph and took him from being a slave to being 2nd in command over Egypt. He actually became a savior to many people when a great famine hit the land for 7 years. God had given Joseph wisdom on how to sustain all these people through the great famine (Genesis 40-49).
Mel, I cannot tell you what to do. But I do know that the T.V is not going to be any help in building your character. I could suggest that you get involved with sports or get a job yourself but I do not know if this is what God wants for you. There is a website that I know of but I cannot list it here because it will be called advertizing. However maybe you can Google it.
2006-10-28 16:01:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a hard thing to deal with a parent that isn't a productive member of society and yet demands to be treated as the King of his castle, isn't it. I don't know if you should hate him, but definately make sure you don't turn out like him, work hard, be respectful to women and other members in your family and don't allow him to make you chose one side of the family over the other. Let him know that you love all of your relatives equally and want to spend time with both sides othe family. If he gives you any problems over that, then try to spend more time with them as much as possible when he isn't around until you are old enough to visit them on your own and make your own decisions. Good luck!
2006-10-28 15:49:48 · answer #5 · answered by hargonagain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he likes to be in control of everything. You shouldn't hate him. Just try and stick it out until you are out of the house. There's not much you can do until then, unless he's physically hurting you and your mom. Then the two of you need to get away from him.
2006-10-28 15:47:39 · answer #6 · answered by angelica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Him not treating your mum as his equal is more your mum's problem than yours (you can be upset and irritated, but she has to contest his behaviour herself). Being responsive (but still respectful) to his unpleasant attitude can help you start having an open discussion with him. Expose quietly your point of view, listen to his and try to find a compromise through discussion and patience...
2006-10-28 15:51:52 · answer #7 · answered by winniehoop 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally think you have the right to hate your dad. I am 30 years old now and haven't talked to my dad in years. He was never there for me and my brother growing up and he doesn't seem to want to be here now that I am a mother. He doesn't care about me so I don't waste my time caring about him.
2006-10-28 16:03:19 · answer #8 · answered by Hazeleyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These might be appropiate answer to dislike your father. Has he treated the entire family like this your whole life? I personally wouldn't like a father like that.
2006-10-28 15:43:29 · answer #9 · answered by Shauna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to have to say it like this but your dad sounds like a real looser. hang in there and get out oft that house a soon as you're old enough and encourge your mom to go with you. GOOD LUCK
2006-10-28 19:57:02 · answer #10 · answered by calenderchic0271 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋