how can i cope with military life?

Question

i have been in the military 4 about a month now. so far ive had a stress fracture that put me back for two months and i had to take basic again.well im out and its by luck. now im in ait and i cant pass my run on any of my test. my legs are even starting to hurt again....badly.ive been away from my wife and family and i cant seem to adjust at all.since ive been here ive been depressed and ive tried to open up to new things to make me happy but they all have the same results.i feel as though i dont belong here and ineed to know if there is anybody who knows how to cope with it...someone please help me find a solution.

Answer 1

Rico, you sound very very unhappy. You know, if you decide to ditch this job, you will NOT have failed. We try things, we don't know how they're gonna be. If we find we don't need it in our life and we don't like it then we dump it.

You're missing your wife and family, which is natural and they are probably missing you too.....you only have ONE life....is this how you really want to spend it??

YOU can make changes...there is no shame in quitting.

Ask yourself this : At the end of your life will you be thinking

a) I'm really glad I chose to do that job and stick with it
or

b) So glad I quit that job when I did.

Then you'll have your answer.

Good luck in whatever you do.

Answer 2

one million. You get used to it. like all different person. In my case i could not wait to get far off from my place of origin. In 24 years in the army so a techniques i will assume one hand the style of cases I even have been decrease back. You get 30 days of go away a 12 months... that's a lot greater beneficiant than maximum folk of civilian careers. 2. In 4 wrestle deployments so a techniques i be attentive to truly thousands, if not hundreds, of people who've engaged in direct wrestle. yet i be attentive to easily a handful that have killed somebody. That being suggested..your hesitation will replace heavily while somebody is making an attempt to kill you.

Answer 3

Try seeing all of these challenges as opportunities. You have the opportunities to learn, grow, overcom, and improve things. All that stuff they make you do when you first join the life, is designed to test what you're made of, break you down from individualistic thinking, and build you up again with fellowship and comaradery, and collective thinking.

Keep your body strong by swimming, keep your spirits up by maintaining relationships with your family, and keep your chin up at work, keep trying and devote no time to feeling sorry for yourself or making excuses. No one cares. They want to groom you into someone that the next guy could count on you to have his back, trust you with his life. Don't talk about your fears and doubts with your platoonmates. They don't want to know that stuff.

Download that to your wife on a regular basis. It will maintain your emotional intimacy, and show her how important she is to you. If you don't, it will leak out of you in other ways. Some guys become drunks, other guys become abrasive and short-fused. It's all about displaced anxiety. Download that stuff to your wife, and you will know you have an ally that has unconditional positive regard for you.

The fact is, military guys see emotion as weakness. It's reall not, as it is a show of strength to own your emotions. But in the military, there is a stigma on that. You don't want to be wondering if the guy that's supposed to be guarding your life is scared, freaked out, or insecure.

The solution is, lean on your wife for daily/weekly downloads. Trust your wife, she will not judge you or find fault with you. When you maintain emotional intimacy with your wife, you tell her the secret stuff you wouldn't tell another living soul. When you share yourself with her like that, she will share herself with you. When you maintain that intimacy, you will not wonder, question, or worry about where she is or what she is doing, and how she feels about you.

Keep your composure around the other guys at all times. Don't let them intimidate you or belittle you. They will try, but just think to yourself "It's ALL relative". They have reasons for acting like they do. Do what you are asked or ordered to the best you can. Don't give anyone reasons to reprimand you or 'counsel' you (bad paperwork). Become tenacious about getting the job done, and devote no time to reasons why you can't get it done.

Change every "I can't...." to "I am not willing to..." And see what that does for your perspective.