not for teenage pregnancy?

Question

I dislike the thought of a baby having a baby, but we should be looking at the parenting not the age. My sister is older than I am and we both had our children at the same age, she isn't the best of mothers and I do my best to be. Why look at how young we look or are instead of us saying "that's nice she picked up the cup cleaned it off and gave it back to the child." or "That's great she put him in timeout and keep her cool" Every person is different and the people on yahoo answers helped me not to care what other people think of me and be the better person.

I always get comments about how beautiful my children are and how I am beautiful too. Maybe just maybe that might be it.

Answer 1

Being the best that you can be is awesome!

I stopped worrying what other people thought along time ago....
in a judgmental sort of way that is.

I believe in me!

We have to believe in ourselves, to succeed and be what we want to be. Whether its a banker or a mother......it only truly matters what we think of ourselves.

Age is just a number...are you sure they are wondering your age when they look at you or maybe could they be looking and thinking Wow what a beautiful baby and such a Caring Mother.

If no one has ever said anything....verbally to you....maybe its you that is thinking too much.....

Life is too short....enjoy it.....
and remember.....

You know what kind of parent you are and that's the most important thing....

Answer 2

That's very true. I am a young mother (19) not only do I have a son but my cousin (5yrs) has come to live with us. I get looked at and have even been asked why I was a whore and had kids. One big misconception is all teen/young mothers are on welfare/government assistance--I am not. Another is all teens/young mothers are unwed--I’m married. Next is all teen/young mothers have exuberant amounts of help from their parents--none here. Do I fit the stereotype? No. Am I still generalized with some girls? Yes.

I am an excellent parent. What is an excellent parent? To me it's when people try their hardest, work their hardest, and don't give up. Now if a person is not doing that (neglecting or abusing their child) regardless of their age they are not doing good for themselves or their child.

I've seen parents at sixteen beat their children. I've seen woman at thirty five drown their children. I've also seen parents at seventeen look in to their child's eye and tell them no. I've seen parents at thirty two give their child kisses and tickle them. We've always seen people loving their kids but only care about the people who don't.

I don't understand how someone can stereo type all teens OR young mothers into a "whore" or welfare category. I've seen more mothers 30+ hurt their children on the news then a young mother, does that give me a right to say that having a child past thirty is wrong? No.

As for Y!A--you're right--it's thickened my skin as well. I've realized quite a few things merely by participating in this website. (1) Calling names won't get people anywhere (while I've never done it people have called me names) it's actually a sign of ignorance (2) people who are stuck in their ways will ALWAYS be stuck in them. I don't care about those people anymore because they are also ignorant. (3) America needs to implement a better education system. I've seen too many women/men (of all ages) who do not know how to spell or punctuate. The list could go on and on. Anyway--I agree!

Answer 3

I was 22 when I had the first child in the family since my borther was born. I came from a family that on both sides had this un-written no children until you are 20 rule & all kids in wed-lock. This was even true for both my sisters who came after me. It was also open conversation that any person was expected to graduate high-school before having intercourse. We were told that kissing at 16 was okay... Talk about instruction.. but when it comes from EVERYONE it sorta gets pounded into your head & you live by it!!! NO TEEN PREGANCIES... UNTIL......

My 1/2 sister (we have the same Dad) came up pregnant at 15... the whole family was in an up-roar... My father had died when she was 12 & her mother brought her up totally different than our mother had brought us up. In fact, when she was 9, her mother dressed her up in a wonder bra, a fishnet shirt, daisy duke short-shorts & very high heeled tennis shoes. Paula (her mother) told her this was because boys liked big noobs & long legs. Paula had her fist child at 16 & by the time she was 22 had lost all 3 of her kids due to the state taking them away as a result of neglect. She & my Dad had Chelsea as an accident when she was @ 40 & my Dad was 55.

Back to the uproar... regardless of why Chelsea (my 1/2 sister) got pregnant at such an early age.. not to mention sexually active.

As it turns out... Chelsea does not follow in Paula footsteps & is a GREAT MOTHER of her now 2 year old daughter... and she is VERY STRONG AGAINST HER MOTHER (Paula) when there is an attempt to influance anything in Harmony's (Chelsea's daughter) life

I am proud & honored to be both 1/2 sister & aunt... even when this was a baby having a baby

Answer 4

Definately agree. I am a young mother - not as young of a mother as some, however, understand. You are right in the fact that people need to look at what actions are being taken with a child first and not age. It's the actions that tell us if a parent is good, not their age. Apparently you thought about your child when you decided giving birth was the best option. You cared for that child before you really knew him/her.

Answer 5

Parenting and motherhood ! Great ! But baby having a baby there is question of age!They should not misuse their advantage of age?Teen pregnancy costing a lot more money to Federal Government as well as to the State and City.On top of that to the Parents itself.Teenage pregnancy is worthwhile when you are living in a Joint family.Parenting experience is there!Because you are the one who grew up in that atmosphere.

Answer 6

It's the bad apples that people see and then turn around and generalize the tree.

My sister had her son at the age of 17 and she is an amazing mother-he's 12 now. She busted her as.s to give him a great life.

Hopefully your message will be heard by others!!!

take care!

Answer 7

ok so what is the question I dont get the point in you typing this out are you a teen mom? Are you saying you are a better mother then your sister? Or you dont care what people think of you? or you are against teenage pregnancy? Or is this comment for those who are against teenage pregnancy? I dont get as you can see

Answer 8

having been a teenage mother. it is a lot of work. especially if you are doing it by yourself. cause you are both nuturer and provider. tough job. i worked so had at being good a both. i know that is not what people looked at, though; and it is sad. but you know what is the greatest? Is when my oldest son, turned to me and said: "Mom, you are the grestest mom ever. When people compliment me, Mom, I tell them that's because my Mom taught me and she is the greatest mom, person in the whole world. Makes it all wash away what people thought, how hard it was .. love... unconditional that is what it is all about...

Answer 9

i too was a teenage mum. everyone tutted and said i wouldn't cope. yes it was difficult as I'm sure it was for you but there is no right age to have a child, just the right mentality

Answer 10

More young mothers like you could someday change the stigma. Don't you just hate stereotypes?!?!