I see many home schooled kids on this site who want to go to regular school. Do parents consider?.......?

Question

If the kid asks to go to regular school, will the parents consider doing this, or will they just make them stay in home school?

Answer 1

I have seen a wide variety of answers to this question. While there are most certainly those parents who Do consider their childrens wants of returning to public school, there are those as well who do not consider their childrens wants.
I will agree that the childrens wants and needs are different. Children dont always know how to explain what their needs are, and when they do attempt to explain, it comes to us parents as more of a want, than a need.
One person stated "I want my kids to think for themselves, be individuals, not be sheeple, drones, content to do what they are told." Whether she wants to admit it or not, whether any of us want to admit it or not, our children feed off our ideas, our thoughts, what we say, how we say it, and how we act.
None of us want our children to be drones, or sheep, being content and never raising a question. However no matter which you do, our children will become sheep to a certain extent.
They learn from their parents whether or not to question things, to stand up and be heard.
Yet another parent states "Yeah, my kids would rather go to school and sit on their a$$es all day long (sadly becoming overweight/obese like other schooled children." Sadly I have seen some of the most overwieght children, were children who were homeschooled. The parents used the children's weight as a tool against them. Telling the children that as soon as they lost the weight, they could go to school like normal kids. Those parents kept telling the children that the kids at school would make fun of them, they would have no friends, and the teachers wouldnt allow them to make good grades. Now, grant it, the children may not have alot of friends, and yes other kids will pick on them, and in some classes the teachers make you WORK for the grade you get. But not all bad things happen at SCHOOL.
While the school plays a big part in our childrens lives, the school doesnt make who our children are, we the parents do.
One of the people who answered your question, Beth I believe, states that her parents gave her the choice, and she of her own free will choose to continued to be homeschooled, and graduated college with a degree before she even graduated with her high school dimploma.

There are pros and cons to every aspect of obtaining an education, whether that education is a college education in a specific feild or a general education as in K thru 12.
Many parents listen to their children and many parents dont. Many parents actually give a damn, and many parents couldnt care less as long as they themselves arent having to deal with their kids.
There are parents who complain about how their kids will end up being drones, people who grow up never asking questions, but they fail to realize that with the kids of thinking that they have they will more often than not turn their children into themselves.
They dont want their children to come into any type of contact with any idea or notion that is different than the ones they have at home. Thus creating the drones that they so despise.

Then there are those people, those parents who assume that their children do not need social contact with kids their own age. While I understand that school isnt a social gathering, child do need interaction with kids their own age, they need outside influences other than what the parents think is best for their kids. While I dont want my kids to associate with the drug dealer down the street, I want my children to know, to realize, that there are those types of people in the world. I want to to an extent to have contact with all kids of people so that they will have the experience that they need in order to be able to defend themselves from the dangers that is out there. Without contact of both kinds, they cannot possibly defend themselves, make good choices, because ew as parents wont be with our kids at every point in our kids lives. They must have experiences of their own, times when they must make choices and deal with the consequences afterwards.

My own expereince is relevant.
My parents chose to homeschool me. At first I was all for it, what kid wouldnt be. But then later, my parents soon left me to teach myself. There were things I didnt understand, and couldnt do on my own, but mom and dad didnt understand the school work and refused to send me back to school so I could learn it.
Now I dont have a high school education.. I dont have even an 8th grade education. My schooling, both at school and at home stopped my 8th grade year. I didnt understand, they didnt know and I couldnt learn what they didnt understand to teach me.
So I learned other things. I learned how to cook, house to buy groceries, I learned how to Cann foods, how to pickle foods, how to keep a clean home, how to replace the brakes on a car, how to change the oil.
But could I interact with others my own age? Did I know how to even carry on a conversation with others unless my father was there to give me his approval with every sentence that came out of my mouth? The answer is NO. No I couldnt. I became a drone, a sheep, someone who couldnt think for myself, without the approval of my parent, my father.
I wasnt allowed outside, unless I had a parent with me, since I was a young lady, there wouold be no running, jumping or other boyish sports.
I had to sneak books from the Library into the house that my parents didnt approve of in order to read anything that had different views than what my father had. My father even go to a point that if a book he did approve of had vewis expressed in it that he didnt agree with, he would rip the pages from that book.

I know how important that going to school is, I dont have the extra money to homeschool my children while at the same time expose them to other infulences, other things, take them to the zoo, or the beach or another country. We arent able to make sure they get to be cheerleaders, or play soccer or other sports.
I dont have the education that I need to be able to homeschool my children, so since I dont have what it takes, I think that my children are better served in Public School.
Best of luck,
Dayna

Answer 2

Well, no I would not consider doing that. I would "make" them stay in home school. Which really isn't an issue. My students are so busy with studies, team sports, jobs, etc. that they have never asked to go to "regular" school.

After all, home-school is very regular to them. They get up every day on a regular basis and they have a regular schedule that regularly is followed if they keep up with the regular plan.
The regular idea is to do a regular amount of math every day. A regular essay and regular reading.

The do each thing with a view to success in accuracy and quality. Their "regular" is a higher standard which becomes quite irregular in comparison to many other options.

If a parent is convinced that something is the very best for their child and they compromise their values just because the child "asks" would that be good? It is the parent's responsibility to guide, direct, educate, nurture and raise the children. The parent has the authority to do the choosing as to how to fill those requirements.

Just because a few generations have been educated in a government controlled public school system over the past few decades does not make that system "regular". It may seem to be that way in our own mind just because it is all we know. Isn't it time for better alternatives?

I'm curious as to whether people that ask the type of this askers question are raising children themselves. And if so, I wonder if they want other adults or their own children making the decision about how the parent's run their own household. Food for thought.

Answer 3

I'm sure any responsible parent listens to their children's opinions, and I also know that responsible parents don't decide things according to a popularity poll. As parents, the job is always to make the decision that is best for your child. That decision is not always the one the child would make, and it can't always be based on that. Sometimes it can't even be influenced by the child's wants.
Parents begin making those kinds of choices when their children are still in diapers. Do you think any child actually wants to be potty trained? Or any 2 year old who wouldn't rather have dessert instead of the vegetables? How many of them would volunteer for vaccinations or trips to the dentist? So which decisions should be influenced and at what age should their opinions be the final factor in the decision?
As a parent, my ulitimate goal has been to provide the best of whatever I can, so my children become mature, responsible adults capable of making good lives for themselves and able to meet whatever life throws their way. When I first began teaching them to cook and clean, it wasn't very popular. My daugher was of the opinion that she could always eat out. My son felt that cleaning anything was optional. Now that they live on their own,they see the wisdom of the decision. Now, but not when it was made.
When they reached high school age, we had the discussion regarding continuing homeschool because they came under pressure from some of their friends. We knew the school education they would recieve would not be the best, and we insisted they remain in the program we had been using until they were juniors. At that point, we felt they would have a solid enough background that it would not be detrimental to them. Interestingly enough, neither was impressed with the public school once they had atttended for a month or two. Our son ended up returning home to finish his last 1 1/2 years. Our daughter stuck it out, although even she took courses through the program as a supplemental education. Although she was in AP level courses, she said the material was less advanced than what she covered at home. Had she not been a senior, she said she would have returned home as well.
Sometimes children do come to see the wisdom of decisions earlier than others. An unpopular decision today may well save them much heartache later, and they will see the wisdom that lay behind those unpopular parental decisions eventually. The wise and caring parent does listen, and does weigh the child's opinion. Just because they decide differently doesn't mean they didn't. A parents job is not to be popular, but responsible. The youth of this country would be much better off it they understood decisions cannot always be based on popularity or polls, but only what is the right and proper thing to do. As they lack the ability, wisdom and responsibility for making those decisions, they have parents who do.

Answer 4

The decsion to homeschool included my daughter (who desperately wanted to leave her public school) and she knows the decision to go back to school will include her as well. At this point, she refuses to even entertain the idea of going back and I am more than happy to continue. However, we have been talking about the pros vs. the cons of homeschooling as we prepare to move to a new area with much better public schools than she was in before. While I hope she decides to return at some point (high school simply because I feel she would enjoy the social aspects that come with the wider variety of activities available at that level), both her father and I have made it clear we will not force her to either go back or to continue at home if she decides to go back into public school.

Answer 5

Although I do ask my children each year if they would rather be in public school or homeschool, in the end, it is my decision, just as it is my decision what they are allowed to eat each day (no chocolate before lunch, eat your vegetables) and how much television and computer time they get. I know my children very well (because we spend so much time together) and generally know the answer to this question even before I ask. But I still ask them; and then I ask them to explain why they chose that answer, so I can understand them better.

As the parent, it is my responsibility to do what I think is best for my children and that means things like eating your vegetables and not playing in the street. Sometimes that means letting them follow their own way even when I know they will fail miserably (such as, trying out for a team or for a part in a play), then helping them pick up the pieces and assess their abilities/gifts, strengths/weaknesses, and mistakes. Other times, that means protecting them from things I know are dangerous (playing in the street, staying out after dark).

Ultimately, most parents who homeschool do it because they have the best interests of the child(ren) in mind. Children don't often have the knowledge or experience to know what is best for them. Sometimes, we parents even make mistakes, but we have years of knowledge and experience behind us to guide our decisions that children just don't have. That is why, legally, I can't just drop my children off on a corner and tell them they are on their own before they are of legal age.

In my son's Latin class last year, they learned that the word parent is from the Latin root, "pare", which means, "to prepare". As a parent, that is my job - to prepare my child for life as an adult without me. The same as ANY parent, I do the best I know at this and just pray the results are positive. Really, that's all any of us can do.

Answer 6

I would definitely talk to my children about it if they wanted to go. I don't know if I would let them or not before high school, but we could definitely discuss the possibility and perhaps search out a suitable school.

I think how our homeschooling is set up, it's unlikely that they'll want to go anytime soon. My kids are 6 and 9 and very happy being at home. They have friends they see regularly and are involved in other activities and lessons--their social needs for the time being are met. We have a respectful environment where we work together rather than us parents just imposing everything on them--therefore, no desire to 'escape' from parental control or monitoring. I bring up these two points because a lack of social contact and a desire to be away from parents seem to be at the root of most of the posts about wanting to go to school.

We also discuss what is in the news about schools (there have been attempted kidnappings as well as indecent exposure and molestation by a stranger who made his way into the school at recess this past year) and what we parents--or other people we are with--know is happening in the schools. My kids do not see schools as great places to be. When my dd heard the other day that the latest rage with jr. high kids is spraying their arms with Axe and lighting it on fire (this happened at the school my dh teaches at, so it's not just something we've heard that may or may not be true), her eyes went wide. When she sees how awfully the girls are dressed, she's glad to not be around that.

With both us parents having been, and dh still in, the school system, we are honest with them about what it's like. They know homeschoolers who used to be in public school who also share their past experiences. Because we strive to make our home a great place that our kids enjoy too--that doesn't mean we don't discipline or don't have expectations--and they have a wealth of knowledge of what it's like in school, they see no particular advantage of going to school over homeschooling.

ADDED: I think it's a hugely valid point that someone else brought up: How many kids who are in public school and want to be homeschooled get to? Look at how many kids have posted in this forum, asking how they can convince their parents to let them be homeschooled. If homeschooling parents aren't choosing to allow their kids to go to school if they want to, then you can hold it against them only as much as you hold it against public school parents who refuse their children's request to homeschool.

Answer 7

I have kinda wanted to go to school in the past, but yet I don't. With Homeschooling (for me at lest) one day I love it the next I hate it. So yes I have considered going back, but I have talked myself out of it many times. I do not think I can stand going back after being out for 4 years, then just comeing back and expecting kids to say "Hey where ya been?", and drop it. So it's not like homeschoolers are socially challanged it's just we found somethign we like better. All of my friends who homeschool have gone to school and know what it is like and do not want to go back (including me) but then again all of us have discussed it with our parents about going back, but it always ends the same way: homeschooling.

Right now you are probably trying to wonder if I am for or against homeschooling and I think I am 50/50. There is no otherway around it. But if I had to make a final choice and parents had to say in it: I would homeschool just to get away from the bratty kids in my area.

Answer 8

I think the parents SHOULD consider it. If they actually let them attend public schools, should depend on if it's a relatively good school, their academic abilities, and the reason of why they were homeschooled in the first place. My last two years of homeschooling were...I'll just say, "very bad," my mom was too busy to teach me anything and I wasn't doing very well. My dad, sister, grandma, friends, other family members, and everyone except my mom basically, wanted me to go to public schools, in the end, they convinced my mom, but we still argue about it to this day...she says that I "fired" her as my teacher. I can only ask that if a child is not getting a get education at homeschooling because the "teacher" (parent, or whoever else) is too busy, or they don't get along with the student, or any other reasons that would cause problems, then they should be allowed to go to public school. I am all for homeschooling, when the "teacher" has the time, ability, and resources to give them a good education.

Answer 9

Well, I know a family thats just the opposite. The kids were homeschooled, and their parents made them go to public school. They'd rather be at home. Yes, the parents should ask the kids, but ultimatly, it is the parents decision. I've also had friends who were homeschooled and wanted to go to public. Their parents let them switch. So yes, they do consider.

Answer 10

At the end of every school year I sit down with my children and talk about the year of home schooling. I ask them what we could improve on, do they want to continue home schooling or go to public school, and what the positive and negative aspects have been of the year. Not all parents do this but then no one set of parents raise their children like any other. My children are very much involved in the say of their education.

Answer 11

I would say that all kids have thier days. But since home schooling is much better for the child, and they are given a much better education, the parents are doing it for the benifit of the child,\

Take a vote in any public school, if they want to have to go baack to school tommorow, and no one will want to be there either