In the prosses of looking out for my two little grandchildren(1 1/2yr old and 2 1/2yr old),,I had witnessed my daughter abuseing her babies in a very bad physical way,,so I reported her to child protective services,,after confronting my daughter the dangers of the physical strain on these innocent children.(There was an open case on her to begin with)
And because she is very upset with me she threatened to hurt me so I put a Protection From Abuse on her .which in the past she has assulted me before,,and I let it slide.I feel so confused at this moment,,because if I had of turned my head the other way with my grandchildren,,,I feel as though I would have been no better then my daughter,,,yet at the sametime ,,my heart is with heavy weight,,,because my daughter is so angry with me and wishes me dead.Do not know if I was a bad mom for even getting involved or what would have happened if I did not?.
2006-10-28 06:54:51 · 43 answers · asked by ladydi_me 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
No you are not a bad mother, and you are an excellent grandmother for wanting to protect your grandchildren. Just being able to acknowledge the fact that what your daughter was doing to her children makes you NOT A BAD MOTHER! It is natural to want to take blame for your children as a mom, but it isn't always healthy. Sometimes, your kids make mistakes, and it doesn't reflect on you as a parent but on their decision making. I hope your daughter can get help and her children can heal. And I think that even now as you are agonizing over this, you will realize that you did the right thing for those babies in the long run.
2006-10-28 07:00:35 · answer #1 · answered by lilia_164 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are not a bad mother at all!! You love your daughter and you love your grandkids, and if your daughter was being abusive to them you did the right thing. You were looking out for them, and plus if she already has a record of doing this then her kidsd should not be with her and her visits should all be suupervised. Are they with her now? I would hope not... maybe you could take them in, they would be much better off with you. You daughter obviously has severe anger problems or emotional problems or is just plain crazy, I dont mean to be mean or to insult anyone but you must admit he has problems. You are not a bad mtoher at all and you are a great grandma. Be carfeul though, incase your daughter does hurt you and if it gets real bad then change your locks and phone number, but she probably already knows where you live so i odnt know how much help that would be. You are a nice, sweet, caring person. Good Luck with you and your family.
2006-10-28 18:04:15 · answer #2 · answered by Carly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a bad mother! You were looking out for the best interest of your very young grandchildren--they can't protect themselves from harm and need someone to do it for them. I'm sure that it must be terrible to know that you're relationship with your daughter has come down to this but think of what could have happened if you had not stepped in.You also say that she has hurt you, and you should definitely protect yourself. You did the right thing.
2006-10-28 09:56:37 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though your daughter is very mad at you, you could have saved your grandchildrens lives. Abuse typically escalates, there are many children that die of physical abuse each year, and if there were more family members out there willing to report the abuse, some of those children could be saved. I've dealt with child protective services, and while it is a pain to deal with them, they can help your daughter get help. They can also help your grandchildren feel safer and be in a better environment. While she may be mad at you, she needs to realize that you can't do that to your children, and she needs to change. Maybe one day she will forgive you and you can have a better non-threatining relationship. My heart goes out to you, and I wish you the best.
2006-10-28 07:06:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not a bad mom, you are a wonderful grandmother! It takes a strong person to admit when the child they raised is wrong and do what you have to do to protect your grandbabies. What you should do now, is file for custody of the children, get a permanent restraining order against your daughter and make sure those babies are safe from everyone that is out to hurt them, including their mother. Remember, you are totally right here, you might have saved those babies lives, do not let her anger make you feel like a bad mother, you are a wonderful person in my book!
2006-10-28 09:50:58 · answer #5 · answered by hargonagain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! That was the best thing you could have done for your grandchildren. Your daughter is being very selfish and irresponsible. Of course your heart is heavy, you had to do something awful for your daughter but great for your grand kids. In time she will forgive you and your grand kids will be grateful for saving them. Good for you, most people would look the other way in a situation like this. You did the best thing for everyone here and their lives are your business...L
2006-10-28 07:03:53 · answer #6 · answered by ben and lisa h 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. I am a CASA volunteer and deal with these things all the time. It happens to a lot of mothers. I have seen so many mothers turn their head, and something really bad ends up happening to the child. You cannot enable your daughter. And, turning your head, is enabling her. She needs to take responsibility for her children and for her actions. If she will not take responsibility for her children and grow up, then the court will find someone who will and who will love these children. Put your foot down and keep it down. do not back down to her. You will only be hurting her if you do. She needs to see you, her mother, stand up and do the right thing and be consistent. In time, I'm sure she will realize what she has done and realize you were only helping her and protecting these children. If you hadn't turned them in and something bad happened to those children, you would have blamed yourself forever. You did good!
2006-10-28 07:38:04 · answer #7 · answered by #3ontheway! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally dont think that you are a bad mom, it sounds like you daughter is. Where are the kids now?? DId you see if she would let you keep the kids until she got help for her abusing ways? You did what you had to do for those kids. I'm a single mom age 27 with 2 boys 9 and 3 and pregnant with one and if I couldn't see that I was doing something wrong with my kids ESPECIALLY if it can hurt them I EXPECT my mom or dad or OTHER family members to step up. Your daughter will realize that you were just doing whats best for her and her kids in the long run.
2006-10-28 07:01:49 · answer #8 · answered by t20 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Your not a bad mom.You were protecting your grandchildren and in a sense,helping your daughter.Obviously she needs help.I think you are a great mother beacuse if you had just looked the other way,who knows what couldve happened to your grandchildren.one day,after your daughter gets the help she needs,she'll look back and realize you did the right thing.I give you kudos because alot of mothers wouldnt have had the strength to do what you did.
2006-10-28 07:13:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It may hurt because it is your child that you are taking action against but its the right thing to do. If your daughter is abusing her kids, you as their grandmother needs to protect them. Im sure this is something that is tearing you apart because you love your daughter but she is in the wrong. Children can be severly traumatized for living this way. Imagine how must they feel that the person that is supposed to love them and protect and care for them, is the one that they will be terrified of. They are helpless little children, the cant do anything about it. You are helping them immensely. I hope your daughter changes or finds help, but you are doing the right thing.
2006-10-28 07:08:50 · answer #10 · answered by Esme 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋