I am having trouble speaking with people with tact. where can I find some answers to help me over come this?

Question

dispite trying not to, i usually end up putting people off.

Answer 1

Really have the same problem myself sometimes. I'm just blunt & straight forward. But it can go too far. I've learned not to say something that you don't want to have someone say to you. Tone is huge, I can get away with saying a lot of stuff if I say it sweetly or nicely! Here's an example. The does this make me look fat question: (keep in mind your a guy so you never answer this question everything looks great. As a female I'm allowed to answer it.) Girl asks it, comes out in an outfit that looks horrible. I can answer it like
'Yes, it does go change.'
Or,
'hmmm...you know it doesn't look that bad, but it's not very becoming on you, I'm sure we can find something that looks smashing.'
I've said pretty much the same thing. but one is going to get a much better reaction then the other. It also takes more work and more thought. So watch the words that come out of your mouth, watch the tone & I'm sure you'll do much better. As my Grandma always says 'If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Side note be yourself, just a kinder gentler, sweeter you! LOL

Answer 2

It depends what you mean by "tact" That can imply that someone is speaking directly and concretely about something, or it can mean people are just being rude and tacky. If it is the first, then go on with the conversation with your ideas, after all that is what they are doing, just voicing their ideas. If it is the latter, no need to come down to their level. End the conversation as---"I don't need this or I don't deserve this and this conversation is over". And go on. Always remember, you do not have to prove anything to anyone. Let's say----If you said you bought a green shirt and someone says that you didn't, you do not have to pull it out and show it to them. Let them say what they will. Does that change anything? You have the shirt regardless of what they say. If they are bold enough to come up with their remark, you can be bold enough to come back with a reply that will be effective and still be respectful to yourself as well. ---- It really does leave you the better person. Sometimes the "last word" isn't always a good thing. Hang in there, you will do OK.

Answer 3

You don't need help. This world is getting more and more beaten into submissiopn by the "pc" (politically correct) band, and it is devastating the western world, making it weak to those who want to attack us, from our words to our policies.
Keep what manliness you have about you, and if people can't handle it .. tough, because the woman or man who comes along who loves you for you are, will *really* love you .. not some general whiney-assed Liberal relationship.

Strong views combined with strong principles, make for a strong people. And sometimes, there just is no delicate way to put some things.

Be yourself, or give up. You can't lie forever.

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Answer 4

There are modern-day books on etiquette and manners. Go to amazon.com and look some up. Just remember, when in a situation like that - it's always better to err on the side of not saying anything at all. Less is more. Keep quiet when in doubt.

Answer 5

If in a situation you don't know what to say or have the right words the best thing to do is stay quiet. Better to stay silent and have them think you a fool then to say the wrong thing by proving it.

Answer 6

Before you say anything you should count to at least 3 and use that time to decide if what you are thinking should be said or not.

Answer 7

So? Look, you are who you are. I'm sick and tired of people carefully selecting their words and walking on egg shells so as not to upset minorities, racial groups, religious fanatics you name it. Not everybody is going to like you or your personality. So what? You can't please everybody. As long as you don't meet a fat person and call them fatso or call a black person ****** to their faces, who cares. People are just too sensitive. My attitude is: deal with it.