My wedding is going to be simple looking. I say "looking" because it hasn't been simple, but I didn't expect it to be simple. My problem is while my girls are going to be in very lovely dresses, and my fiance is trying to talk me into him and his guys to be in plain jackets, jeans and baseball caps. Should I give in and let him do his thing while I do mine, or should I tell him he and the guys need to be sharp dressed men? Maybe not that wording, but you all know what I mean. Please help. We handled the small stuff first with no problem, and now he's giving me a heap of frustration with the big stuff.
2006-10-28 06:35:31 · 20 answers · asked by viva_bamm 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
let the guys wear their caps to the rehersal dinner or reception. the ceremony in itself should be nice.
2006-10-28 06:51:18 · answer #1 · answered by *KiM* 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get real. They need to be dressed in the suits, at least if not tux. Even the worst 'planned' wedding I went to the guys were dressed nice. What I mean is they ended up playing the wedding CD for walking down the aisle out of a car. Tell him some other time he can wear the jeans and baseball cap.
2006-10-28 07:36:41 · answer #2 · answered by brezzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you might have a bigger problem here than just wedding dress code. Back off and let him talk about just what his ideal wedding would look like. Maybe you are the one who is being "unreasonable" here? It's impossible to tell from here, but it's possible that your big dreams and plans have overshadowed his and this is his way of "fighting back".
Start with, "Honey, if money was no object and we could do whatever we liked, how would YOU like our wedding to be?" Then sit back and listen without adding your thoughts. If he has an idea you haven't considered and can manage, run with it. The more he feels like you're listening to him, the more likely he is to compromise on the things that are important to you (like clothing).
Communication is the most important skill couples can develop and planning the wedding offers a wonderful opportunity to learn to communicate with each other openly and honestly. Remember that 75% of communicating is LISTENING and you'll be fine!
Good Luck!
2006-10-28 08:02:31 · answer #3 · answered by Kya Rose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him WITH YOU go to a tux store & pick out the one HE"D like to wear. Lay some ground rules. While I believe the guy should be comfortable, since your wedding is simple formal he should respect that & dress accordingly. No jeans & ballcaps.
My son refused to wear a tie of any sort or a cumberband. He & his g'men wore a little longer jacket, higher collar. Most men that see the pics say they wouldn't mind wearing such an outfit.
Similar to this, but not quite.
http://www.jimsformalwear.com/tux909.htm
2006-10-28 07:59:53 · answer #4 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a way to compromise with him about how the guys are dressed? He should have a say- but, you also want the guys to look sharp. Compromising on this is good practice for the rest of your married life. Sometimes we ladies have to give up having things exactly as we want... which isn't always easy. I know!!
from a grandma-aged person
2006-10-28 06:38:52 · answer #5 · answered by PeggyS 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that this is completely inappropriate for a wedding. However, you are willing to compromise. They can wear traditional wedding attire for the ceremoney and most of the pictures. They can then wear the hats and plain jackets for some of the pictures and part of the reception. This way you're both happy. Good luck.
2006-10-28 08:19:25 · answer #6 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! To begin with, is your wedding theme casual? let him know its fine if he wants to be married in jeans, baseball cap n plain jacket as long he's ok with you dressed in t-shirt n jeans (i bet he would rather see you in a wedding dress). Tell him, this is the time to get dressed, look spiffy n beautiful, its a one in a lifetime thingy.
Good luck!
2006-10-28 06:46:09 · answer #7 · answered by j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your wedding day and you guys are not on the same page??? WOW!! Be careful girly, I am much more concerned about your decision to marry .... You need to step back and look at this thing really carefully and realy thoroughly! Are you sure you are not making a big mistake? I am sorry for saying this ... but someone needs to sit you down and talk to you ... making sure you are not making a mistake you will regret for the rest of your life. ... remember, it always starts with the little stuff ... talk your mom and dad or sister or friend. PLEASE.
2006-10-28 06:42:34 · answer #8 · answered by I HATE SLOW CONNECTION! 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stick to your guns honey & tell him no for the jeans & baseball caps. It IS a wedding after all & a pair of black slacks do not cost that much!
2006-10-28 06:40:21 · answer #9 · answered by bluedawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're going to be able to solve this problem if you don't understand where he is coming from and if he doesn't understand where you're coming from. He needs to tell you the specific reasons why he wants them dressed that way and you need to do the same. You both need to be able to understand why it's important to you that they dress a certain way. Then and only then will you be able to compromise.
2006-10-28 08:17:55 · answer #10 · answered by ixi26c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the BIG day...you give in now and he'll want to walk around in his under wear when you friends drop in..compromise gym shoes with a tuxedo..that Way they stay out of most of pictures.
2006-10-28 06:49:56 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋